Uncategorized

When Lonely

When I’m feeling lonely
and anxious,
small and ineffective
against depression
descending like a brain fog bank

In this Elder moment,
I have grown faith
even this chronic dark veil
will withdraw,

Although
perhaps not as sure of when
as tomorrow’s fresh green/blue
worldview dawn

Naturally spirited dark nights
for ego embodied wounds
will recede again

When I’m feeling lonely
and anxious,
rather than healthy
good humored
and safe
with gratitude

For Earth’s panentheistic pleasures
win/win neurosensory practices,
whole-sum dialectical praxis
replete with paradigmatic
revolutionary creolization
musical recreations
across all nations
historically therapeutic
nonviolent communications

When I’m feeling anxious
and lonely,
I am wanting?
Needing what?

To feel healthy
and recognize my situation as factually
and fortunately safe
in some way?
I can say out loud
and take my Verbal Hemisphere dominant self
seriously
rather than speciously,
curiously
rather than furiously.

When I’m lonely
and fear depression’s
disenabling
and unenlightened fog,
am I needing to feel ego-compassion,
eco-systemic expansion?

To see Earth’s restorative health
within
balancing
Sun’s most resiliently revolutionary wealth,
without?

When feeling lonely
what do I most crave?

When feeling traumatized
wounded
internally divided
stuck
dissociated
cognitively/affectively dissonant,

Rather than bilaterally resonant
inside
as outside
deep polycultural revival
and widely
inclusively
multiculturally resilient

Is cooperative
eco-political correctness
what I need
for myself
and with all EarthTribe’s potential
Yang-full Yintegral flow?

Throughout healthy EarthSpace
and wealthy SunRevolving Time,
when feeling lonely,
what does my egobody need,
want,
most crave?

Deepest brave,
courageously transparent,
vulnerably curious way
to stay
safe and healthy
multigenerationally
and multiculturally
and polypathically
Yang monotheistic
and Yin panentheistic,

One full organic ZeroZone
and not, not empty polymathic
entirely
coldly
clinically theoretic.

When feeling anxious
I long for win/win robust anticipation

Gratitude
for a species
too win/lose comfortable
with VerbalHemisphere dominant genocide
and ecocidal ideations

While Elder Hemisphere wisdom
prominently celebrates
Spring rites of Yang fruitfulness
and Yintegral full flow flowering

Truth
and Beauty

Wholeness
and elegant holonic
co-relationships,
co-passion,
ego/eco-systemic Earth
Tribal green integrity

Synergy,
negentropy,
ergodically whole-sum
holonic win/win open
anticipating further enriching
green comforting energy.

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Respecting Hearts Inspecting Minds

When I feel differences
between respected wisdom
and inspected knowledge
becoming invisible,

When I discover transparent distinctions
between rightbrain easy Awe
and leftbrain articulating Wonder,
with or without flavors of unease
between invisible time
and distinguishable space,

Then I here and now believe
we are all in deep climatic trouble
when patrilinear capital competitions
dissociate Yang strong knowledge
from Yintegrity’s potential,
Western knowledge
divorced from Eastern wisdom,
deductive information
severed from inductive systemic needs
for bioculturally indigenous reassurance

Dipolar co-arising
universal health knowledge
of unitarian wealth wisdom
devoid of anthro-supremacist
monoculturing
StraightWhiteMale colonizing,
predative,
win/lose competitive
ballistic bias.

Cultural knowledge
without climate wisdom
is like faith
without good-humored works,
resembles invisible enlightenment Here
without empowering compassion Now,
reassembles theological beliefs
without ecological Great Turning experience
of transparent wellbeing knowledge
within healthy multiculturing wisdom.

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Dad’s Control Issues

Have you seen,
or even felt,
an historical coincidence
between monotheism
and patriarchal theism
and competitive ChosenPeople
monoculturing control issues?

Have you heard
resonant compassioned languages
polyculturing herstoric redevelopment,
ego/polytheistic
nondualistic integral multi-regenerational experience
in-between cooperative ecomatriarchal green theists
and competitive multicultural EarthTribe Circles
thrivalist Ecological Interdependent Spirals
co-empowering multigenerational ReCycles
within co-operative
ego/eco-empowering
Left/Right-Economic Winging
singing bicameral
enlightening secular/sacred bipartisan
co-governance

And Win/Win co-investment
in sublimely divinely competitive
yet playful teams
and tribes
and local community opportunities
to avoid win/lose survivalist
patristic devolutionary risks

By embracing win/win thrivalist
ecofeminist revolutionary opportunities
to polyculturally embrace compassion
when we are at high pandemic
rabid fear and anger frisk.

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Uncategorized

Lone Warrior Rides Again

I wonder how much,
if any, distance
we might uncover
between The Lone Warrior
surrounded by weary white YesMen,
and The Naked Emperor
surrounded by timid white YesMen.

Both Warriors and Emperors
long for those they serve
by ruling over,
by disempowering healthy democratic voices
of critical dissent,
to wake up to their personal
omnipotent
privileged vision
and sacred words,
their supremely authoritative
and defensively authoritarian
win/lose knowledge

That competition to serve as YesMen
YesWomen
YesChildren
is the only appropriate role
for weak serfs;
those with too humble
poverty of spirit
and degenerative win/win nature,=
integrity
responsibility
compassion

Rather than daring
to look into our own Lone Emperor
richly naked eyes
of narcissistic disappointment.

Like all of us,
all Naked Warriors ever healthy long for
is to be appreciated
and played with
by peers
of resonant
compassionate integrity
caring
health wealthing.

The nakedly lonely
Warrior Emperor
of win/lose capitalistic politics
is not what EarthTribe had in mind
as reborn worshipers
cast our famous ballots
for EarthMother’s sacred
non-yeswoman birth

Back
back to enlightenment
of GrandMother Moon.

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Wishing Different Ways

As painful as your transparency is,
I appreciate the integrity you have found
To say this parting of shared habituations
has moved from temporary
to permanent
for you;
for us.

I would have preferred a resurrection
from temporary separation
to permanent mutual admiration,
but I trust you, too,
prefer this shared dream
no longer accessible
to wounded hearts.

I have loved you,
I do love you,
but I have hurt you
perhaps with more wounding skill
than my younger compassion found thrill.

For these deep wounds where you,
we,
need trust,
I regret,
apologize,
Would create healing repairs
through better bilateral winning communication,
as possible,
invited,
cooperatively embraced.

For love invested
I have no apology,
no regret,
no worries about less than abundant warm compassion returns,
revolutions,
deep resonance with Earth’s eternally revolving womb,
timeless culture promoting health,
best practiced when
and where
and while we find regenerating passions,
synchronic wealth.

I realize you are not seeking
warm embraces from some Other future lover;
nor am I.

And yet,
should your Right path offer a renewing embrace
I would share your joy in responding “Yes!”

And, should this miracle
descend upon bald and wrinkled me,
or even us
in some future unfinishable life,
I hope you will want no more or less
than a joyous part
of our continuously extending Family
Of warm-felt relationship
association
friendship
kinship,
sacred communion.

That LeftBrain said,
my RightBrain has a farewell duet with Chris Walker:
How Do You Heal A Broken Heart?
(revised and condensed, lightly)

“I can’t believe what I just heard
Could it be true
Are you the guy I thought I knew
The one who promised me true love

Where did it go
Does anybody ever know

How do you heal a broken heart
That feels like it will never beat this much again
Oh no
I just can’t let go

How do you heal a broken heart
That feels like it will never love this much again
Oh no
Tonight I’ll hold what could be right
Tomorrow I’ll pretend to let you go

And were we ever what we seemed
Or were we just fools
Who fell in love
Each with his own dream
And now you say you want to leave
Start a new life today
Those words I thought you’d never say

Tonight I’ll hold what could be right
Tomorrow I’ll pretend to
Wake and put it all behind me
And find that I have finally found

A new life
In my soul
And find that I know how to let you go
You go

How do you heal a broken heart
That feels like it will never love this much again
You go

Tonight I’ll hold what could be right
Tomorrow I’ll pretend to
Wake and put it all behind me
And find I know how to let us go.”

 

 

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Uncategorized

Life Planning Love

We were sitting in our 60+ sharing circle
on a rainy Tuesday afternoon,
grey and raw and dreary,
listlessly speaking of the need to downsize,
to transition to a more manageable
more safe
more audible habitat.

And wanting to hang onto our independent mobility,
our cars, in most middle-class cases,
as long as possible.

We talked about proactive planning optimal independence,
about eventually living with our kids,
about potential confluence and conflicts of interest,
about shrinking invulnerable distances
between “someday,
as far from today,
as possible”
and the lightning quickness
of crushing physical and/or mental disability,
non-communication ability,
through accidents and aneurysms,
unfortunate and therefore unplanned critical events.

We did not talk about
how we felt
courageous and curious,
brave and patient,
afraid and angrily impatient
about how mortal life is what continues
only one day
one uncritical moment
at a time
while planning for other loving things
to unfold before
“no longer sacred SomeTime
as far away from secular today
as physically AND mentally,
naturally and spiritually, possible.

I didn’t notice,
until later,
we also didn’t look at cooperatively-held
unitarian plans
for win/win
health/wealth outcome optimization.

The hypothetical possibility
today
is “someday” for mutual pre-planning
cooperative downsizing
and shared mobility challenges,
resources,
opportunities,
risks,
vulnerabilities,
strengths,
letting go by first grabbing hold
of shared imaginations.

We didn’t talk
about how much we didn’t like
the empty chairs,
About how we miss, already,
Kate and Betsy
Jan and Sandy
and what they are planning
between shared now
and autonomous then.

Their unique and irreplaceable ways
of planning and not planning
pre-planning and re-planning
life each day
while continuing with other relationships
other communications
communions
communities.

I didn’t talk
about wanting to live with other singers
and maybe even dancers,
with others deeply committed to compassion
for both mortal humans
and immortal living Earth

Hopefully,
providing
inviting habitats of warm
cooperatively-owned and -managed
accompaniment,
creative improvisation,
jazz rhythms,
blues beats,

Especially on raw phrases,
dreary riffs,
rain-drenched
Tuesday jamming afternoons
of richly audible gloom.

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Colorful Cultures

White is fundamental absence of color,
as is evangelical black.
But, white is colorless
due to emptiness
while black
because of good news fullness.

Transparency is presence of visibility
as is not darkness
but transparency is void
where opaque is dense.

Life is absence of death
as death is absence of life.
But, life is full and dense
while death is empty and void.

Promising evangelical integrity of all motions and emotions
actions and reactions
presence and co-presence
in-between radically sacred
and fundamentally secular
cultures of dualistic meaning
evolve courageously bright
with loads of curious light.

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Wait A Minute!

Did I hear that wrong?

On my way for another appointment
with the vampire bleeding Quest,
big stage conversations on the radio
travel way too fast
for me to stay tuned in
at my normal liberal-conserving pace.

A single new mom
is surprised to learn about herself.
Her post-parted mother self
is less excited about getting back to work
out in the “real world.”

Wait a minute!
When did the real nurturing home environment
become the unreal world?

Back when most of us were serfs
and slaves,
shipping clerks
and slap-happy farmer families,
wasn’t family life cultural realness?
And outside employment
our unreal
mechanistic crazy ant-nestedness?

When and why did that turn
right side down?

Then she argued,
without waiting for slow to learn me,
against those who blame the childcare victim
by challenging employers AND employees
to do better
balancing work and home life
with bi-transcendent presence.

She finds this adds undue bilocation pressure
on parents to find ever more efficient
and effective employee-parent balancing acts
in multi-tasking lack of fully engaged bicameral presence.

We need systemic change,
she says,
although I fear that’s what Donald Trump would also say,
in another UnReal Wounded World’s competitive runaway favor.

Wait a minute!
Don’t throw out the new-balancing baby
with our dirty economic laundry water!
Don’t argue against Ego/Eco balance needed
to embrace, again,
healthy Cultural Balance.

A culture so out of balance
that competitive Win/Lose economies
now monopolize our encultured RealWorld,
and cooperative Win/Win parent/child empowerment
has become privatized UnReal Healthy CounterCulture.

Then, less than a minute later,
Republican spokespersons
described President Trump as vindicated
by Mueller’s executive report
finding insufficient information to prove collusion
with Russia
and/or obstruction of justice
within America.

Wait a minute!
Is no proof of colluding with a violent
totalitarian
kleptocratic regime
threatened by our flagging healthy transparent democratic culture
and cooperative Win/Win mutual empowerment,
really vindicating
an out-loud vindictive plutocrat
too smart to go to Vietnam
and too slick to campaign for principles of un-commodified love and integrity
rather than against recession of pathological hate and mendacity?

First, he said Russia
was helping Hillary in the voting booths
of 2016.

Then, when it became clear some foreign agency
was trying to help him by hurting her,
He said it wasn’t his good buddy Putin
or his Allies.

Then, when it became clear
it was Kremlin-sponsored interference,
He said, repeatedly, No Collusion!
because his campaign knew absolutely nothing
about anything
(which, out of context, sounds plausible).

Then, when it became clear
his campaigners did meet with Russian representatives
offering to do the political nasty
to Hillary,
He said, just “No Collusion!”
without qualifiers.

Then, when it became clear
the Trump campaign had nothing to say
about having met, without reporting, foreign agents
involved in dirty propaganda tricks
in U.S. media markets,
He still said only “No Collusion!”

But, wait a minute!
Now we have been asking
why wouldn’t a patriotic nationalist leader
true-blue military industrially empowered
not jump out of his white privileged skin
to be the first to squeal on the bad bully guys
for playing mean loser-take-all
disempowering undemocratic politics?

Wait a minute!
Short of transparently unveiling how the Trump campaign
proactively attempted to let everyone know
these hostile actions taken
against the integrity of our democratic electoral system
for RealWorld informed voters,
how is No Collusion! (probably)
sufficient to vindicate
some nationally elected leader of a wounded democracy
apparently intent on breaking all Ten Cooperative Commandments
as shamelessly as possible?

Wait a minute!
What happened to obstruction of healthy restoring-trust
bicameral justice?

By the time I returned home
to my RealWorld,
I was already exhausted
trying to keep up with
a patriarchally privileged
Win/Lose
UnReal
left-unmindful dominant brain
right-mind suppressed
with monoculturing
colonizing
secularizing
privatizing
narcissistic bullying intent.

I’ll be alright though…
Just give me a minute.

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Who I Am Right Now

Who are you?
he asked perpetually, patiently
because I invited him to do so
until our time for contented me
to discover his diversely integrated/fragmented identities,
stories,
critical acting
and singing
and dancing
and warring
and terrorizing
and confronting events
right now,
and in past network iterations
and throughout future synergetic neural regenerations
of lifeline transgenerational memory.

Who are you?

I am an interdependent neural-systemic journalist,
a witness hoping to WinWin reconnect
with cooperatively invested communion ego-courage
to know and appreciate you,
your inhabited past
and echoing future
and my own best regenerative green sanctuary ego-self.

Who are you?

I am curious
about your enchantment
with interdependent neural webs
of communication,
toxic and therapeutic,
between humane capital heads,
comparing and contrasting green economic and nutritional co-investments
in democracy, not privilege,
usually cooperative,
but sometimes dissonantly suffering competing bodies
longing for relief
from EarthTribe’s WinToday to LoseTomorrow mortal enculturations,
wounding marks of perpetually anticipating tensions
about who we are
and are not yet
together.

Who are you?

I am future cooperating courage
to believe our WinWin dreams
and needs,
our hopes
co-arise positive and negative feelings
for and of, against and fleeing from,
green optimizing sanctuary communion
communities,
families,
hearts and minds
restoring polypathic neural democratic trust
communi-nonstatic
creolizing
vulcanizing resilience
between what we think and feel and resonantly say
and where we choose to use
our therapeutic hands and feet,
left dominant minds
punishing and restoring health-right holistic bodies,

Interdependent therapeutic webs
of natural body and spiritual minds
bent toward co-passionate green-means-healthy-grow relationships,
non-sectarian
non-partisan
non-violent
non-apartheid
non-privileged patience
with partial WinWin green sanctuary communions

Actively hoping for EarthTribal DNA interdependent stringing messages
within EarthPlaced integral HereNow messengers
listening, then gratefully speaking
Namaste.

Now it’s time to turn this listening/speaking table,
Who are you?

Then, for a later session,
How are we resiliently green cooperative communicators
communing communion communal
compassionate sanctuary together?

And,
please avoid terms like
communistic communalist
because that raises all sorts of toxic
anti-social isolating unkindness and impatient paranoia
and misunderstanding of original WinWin democratic motives
moving toward green social well-being prosperity,
as if liberality of love
could toxically threaten conservational green therapeutic defenses
found in robust democratic webs of deep resilience
rather than patriarchal fake-walls of privileged resistance.

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The Neighbor’s Wife

He’s been struggling with depression,
She said, so then have I.

It’s our bad news
that competing depressions
breed more contagiously
than our cooperative feeding happiness.

Yet our good news grows:
Depression and positive impression
are equally contagious passions
pastimes
eruptions into changing flowstreams of consciousness,
evolving conscientiousness,
naked intention,
interdependent awareness,
enchantment and disenchanting stories,
natural causes spiriting effects causing co-acclimating affects,
positive and negative passions,
pressures,
impressions,
compression.

I’ve been struggling against his self-repression,
she said,
so then he worries about his oppressive powers
financial and political and emotional,
physical and mental.

He doesn’t hit me
or any sentient being
but scares me when he hits
and manhandles against his phone,
kicks against his car,
strikes against his walls and doors and windows,
his property he most interdependently cares about,
relies upon.

This chronic environment of fear,
seeing his violent anger
causes our climate anxiety
and a lack of safely transparent expression,
chronic non-vulnerable repression.

The difference between my suppressed fear feelings
of repression
and his depressed anger feelings,
threatening to disinvest oppression
despite his great attraction to Us,
is a real-talk difference
only if we both know
we are each free to affordably leave,
cut our future health-opportunity losses,
without threat of violent and impoverishing repercussions.

While a free Get Out Of Jail card
and a blinking Safe Exit sign
over our back doors
and front doors
and aside windows
are not much for sharing journeys toward active compassion,
co-operative wonder,
interactive awe,
mutual health and happiness,
prosperous food for mental fitness,
Yet neither is flood insurance
a sign of bad faith in safe and dry land
mutually affordable re-assurance.

Oppression
is aggressive repression
without freedom to exit

And ego repression
is eco-systemic depression
without mutual freedom to catch and re-catch compassion
with and for each faithful interdependent Other,
sentient and sensed as a safe alliance
for absorbing resonance

And practicing mutual reliance,
practicing re-alliance,
practicing integrity of positive contagious co-passions.

Negative depressions stem from lonely longing
origins internal and external,
As positive impressions
grow from practiced compassion,
Solidarity belonging and bred
within eco-cooperative fed
root nutritional systems,

Fitness energy for actively appreciating
each wounded and wounding Other,
including hims
and hers,
transparently discussing fist-vulnerable hands
and heads,
and stomping, kicking feet,
and bad-news phones
and unreliable cars
and imprisoning homes
and patriarchal supremacists

As if all lives
and interdependent relationships
mattered
for continuing depressive competitions
and for altering impressive cooperations.

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