And did you change your biological climate
by evolving your bicameral history’s listening culture?
Or did you change to win/win culture
by revolving healthier climate potential?
“And did you get what you wanted from this life
even so?”
“And what did you want?”
“To call myself beloved,
to feel myself
Beloved [with] the Earth”
together
intrinsically bicameral
implicately bilateral
unfolding grace
of Earth’s binomial place.
Note: Quotes are from Raymond Carver
What’s the point of suicide
when I feel already dead inside?
Too long past due
pulling breath’s last plug
last gasp
last primal scream
for and against capital colonizing campaigns
but acted out in dizzying silent mime,
rumored to be a scary thing
this last big surrendering event
before unconsciousness
of changing time
marching inevitably forward
and backward,
out
and back in
until no more back
or in.
But what frightens this fading identity most,
No one will know a difference,
notice I’m different,
least of all
decaying from within
me.
Already unconscious
subconscious,
merely skirting conscious life
precedes flirting with absence of awareness,
burning bridges
pulling life plugs
turning out my lights
already too dark to hear
fear memories
too alarming to feel
images
too disarming to care for power
for light
Too defining
future past experience
enlightening
too long
refining
past due
healing
organic capital investments
ourselves
too long overdue.
Often,
personal issues are not entirely about some violation of rights,
but also about politically empowering responsibilities
to cooperatively take care of ourselves,
our healthy/unhealthy families,
our neighborhoods and local communities,
our faith communities and eco-villages,
our states and nations
and oceans and international associations,
our competitive cooperatively-owned commons
and economic corporations
and ecological organic incorporations.
Often,
personal issues
are our greatest political health opportunities
to invite compassionate democracy
by letting go of competitive disempowering degenerative evolution theories,
to invite rightbrain consilience
by letting go of left brain cognitive/affective detachment dissonance.
Often,
personal rights issues
are also political healthy wealth responsibilities.
To feel is to believe
without reason.
To realize is to believe
with reason.
To feel is to believe
in a spiritual inside touch,
surprising humor
torrential flood
without conscious reason.
To realize is to believe
in my natural inside reach,
surprising good and bad subconscious humors,
rumors,
tumors,
torrential potential soul flood,
with both ecological-left secular
and theological-right sacred reasons
for healthy v pathological seasons
of life,
love,
lush subclimates of harmonic compassion.
Share with me,
if you could become so kind,
Which of all your lifetime actions
was not also a reaction?
Which thought
not also a polyphonic feeling
rethought
and stored in memory
across countless regenerations?
Share with me
if you would
and could
and should,
Which of your responses
feels more original
and healthy
and organic
and sacred,
and intimate,
naturally communicated
and spiritually experienced
passion.
Share with us,
if we could become communioned,
all our actions verbal and non-verbal,
rational and not irrational,
all our acquisitional quantity intentions
not not qualitative
win/win co-investing intent,
exponentially left dominant
yet incrementally right prominent,
revolutionary communal strength
and evolutionary tribal wisdom.
Share with me
if we could become communacting,
co-munerative unfractioned,
co-numeratively re-actioned
To share with future,
as past EarthTribe patriotic actors
symbolic
iconic capital dipolar valued
originally in cooperatively developed
left/right heading heads.
To share with me,
if time could become so mindful,
co-passioning ego/eco-metric activities
Earth double-bound geometric civilities
binomial
bilateral
bicameral,
If distancing left would be so kind
to intimately share with ElderRight sacred me,
Why absence of communication
is not neutral
for those who notice,
and those who miss,
and those who are glad of change
and those who also are sad
without healthy co-action
and polypathic
polyphonic resilient re-action,
pre-investment toward communion,
harmonic karma,
resonant grace,
co-passion,
resilient love,
To share with me,
if you could become so loved lover,
Which of all your lifetime actions
was not also egocentering
eco-passioning co-reaction,
creation,
recreation,
To share with us.
Because my own behavioral issues,
and my own public political and economic issues,
follow my own vocal trauma communication concerns
and bad-health memories,
It seems my most effective management therapies
usually begin more cooperatively
more quietly spoken in vocal kindness,
and then move on to behavioral mindfulness
to focus on expressing active compassion,
as needed
and invited,
verbally and non-verbally.
If I can leftbrain need to articulate cooperative intent
and rightbrain feel compassionately active hope,
then healthier integral behaviors tend to follow
by seeking co-acclimation
in-between these self/other needs with co-arising feelings
affluently/effluently communing.
I do not conclude
from these experiences and memories
that behavioral therapies are misguided
or misdirected.
But, I do both need and feel
behaviors are both non-verbally and verbally communicated,
with or without aggressive competitive intent,
and usually somewhere ambiguously in-between
interdependence and fragmentation,
regenerative and degenerating intent.
Therapeutic thoughts have feelings
of resonance and dissonance
as healing behaviors have internal beliefs
motivating
inspiring spirited resilience
and passions for love
surpassing anger,
compassion
conquering all dispassions,
positive attraction
reconnecting past negative revulsions.
Feelings have internal colors
compassionate green health environments
and narcissistic snarky red hot interiors
and radiant blue light
and absorbing yellow warmth,
and many multiculturing other hues
and cries for resonant ultra-violet peace
with black and white and brown restoring justice
not so much grey-scaled punishments
for too liberally
compassionately coloring outside
proper eco-political WinLose lines,
social walls of propriety
against impropriety of full-scale wildly imaginative colors.
When I heard Caillou’s white-speak mother
inform her son,
Red is the correct Valentine’s color of love,
I knew this could not be my whole virtuous enculturing story
because red is also the color of bloody fraternity
and viciously escalating anger,
Healthy passioned red
or short-flaring diseased fear
of overpowering betrayal,
losing power to overcome
threats to green therapeutic self-portrayal,
regenerative esteem
virtuously red-blooded,
Surrounded and benignly invaded
by green nature,
yellow absorbing internal blue heedfulness,
caution,
discerning nurtured feelings
attributed by more dissonant color relationships
said and sung in virtuously harmonious major,
and viciously dissonant minor, keys,
round co-relational octaves of color
revolving rhythmic qualities fueling flow,
Morally affluent yang prescriptions
with ethically effluent yin descriptors
of exterior green sanctuary natures
with interior red-blooded
DNA ultra-violet
communicating nonultra-violent
recycling nurture wheels
of resiliently felt therapeutic thoughts.
I was one of ten invited
to play an ego-enrichment game,
to experience economies of mutual democratic trust
contrasted with Win/Lose politics
of privileged narcissistic lust.
Why?
I reasonably ask,
when each of these ten invited ego-systems
could be home in front of our wood stoves,
slurping our chicken noodle soup
with lightly buttered whole-wheat toast.
Not that I was hungry.
But, board-less monopoly games
are not my polypathically curious preference
for growing healthing trust
v pathological hate and hoarding over-investment crimes
against compassionate nature.
“Universal trust,”
begins our god-like game facilitator,
“is usually only available in the eyes of an infant,
or a buddha,
or some everyday unlimited lover,”
or an unusually healthy and good-humored co-facilitator.
“This game is designed to facilitate unmitigated trust
with each person here”
and each ego not yet here
within our global
polypathic health-system;
This cooperating game intends to practice
a classic Win/Win Golden Rule.”
Our Game Rules
stipulate each EgoPlayer
“will receive four thousand dollars to begin
and may invest some or all
into a central communion pot,
or pass.”
“After everyone has had an opportunity to co-invest,
I will act as banker,
count your collectively invested cash,
double it from our communal treasury,
here at my open right hand,
and evenly re-distribute the now-subsidized communal pot.”
Then, again,
each ego-player may re-invest all
or some
or none
into our eco-systemic Commons.
Experienced WinEgo/WinEcoSystemic Players,
all ten of us re-invested all four-thousand dollars
back into our mutual eco-pot.
Our divinely generous banker, in turn,
gave each of us eight-thousand dollars,
and so on
until our Heavenly Treasury went bust,
while each Ego had $128,000 in highly liquid assets
and yet felt forced to pass
against all further non-remunerated
repetitious uniform and ritualistic play.
Now,
imagine we ten are active Catholics
and the Banker is of a priestly caste
distributing communion wafers,
one each Sunday
to each co-investing player.
And, each EgoPlayer may choose to reinvest part
or all
or none
of this cooperatively co-invested Grace received
from past weekly iterations.
Experienced unitarian WinWin players,
all ten of us religiously follow Golden Communion Ethics,
reinvest all co-passioned Grace received
so ecosystemic Wealth
will multi-laterally tenfold double.
Until Earth’s natural/spiritual Grace bank implodes,
maxed out of re-seasonal nutrition cycles,
yet organically slow-growing emergent deeper resilient
and wider resonant games
in ecosystemic gardens
among properly co-passionate gardener circles,
Networks of Golden EgoPassioned Players
banking on our longest-term resilient nurturing Grace
as climate pace of just-right resonant
reiterating
mutually nourishing rounds of well-seasoned Time.
In which yangish MotherEarth facilitates Grace disbursements
and each YinEgo cooperative Win/Win acclimated player
co-facilitates our ecopolitical game
to climax co-empowerment,
communion pot-restoring enlightenment
rather than wasting any valued communal Grace
on punishing sub-optimizing weaknesses
of narcissistic free-loaders,
sheep straying from our GoldenRule
WinWin GameCircle of co-investing passions.
It’s almost Christmas
when the news caster abouter announces
a precipitous new trend in the U.S.
Now, more tired and climate stressed citizens
are against non-violent Political Correctness
than for political and economic government business
as contentiously nationalistic
and ineffectively partisan usual.
I wonder what the first Christmas would have looked like
if God the Loving Father
had been more Politically Correct
and sent His only beloved ChristChild
into the palace of Caesar Augustus
Who might have celebrated with a proclamation:
“All residents must register,
whether natural born citizens or not,
back in your original place of birth
so you can pay more taxes
to support more soldiers
to make more empire-building weapons
to protect my royal monocultural Reign,
soon to be overpoweringly extended
by God’s great patriarchal meritocracy reward,
Jesus Caesar, free of cooperative Politically Correct weaknesses,
Prince of RomanWar.”
Instead,
birthing Jesus in a shepherd’s barn
to parents temporarily homeless and displaced
by greedy war-mongering machinations
of Caesar Augustus…
Was that effective Politically Correct choice
or not?
Are you an evangelistic Christian
for growing rebirth into non-violent peace communication,
healthy relationships with all God’s EarthTribes,
advocating cooperatively owned and managed wealth and happiness
and resiliently nutritional and nurturing prosperity?
Internally effective prosperity,
mutual friendships
reflecting external natural and spiritual climate health care.
Or,
did God your Loving PolyCultural Father
intervene in history with Political Incorrectness
from your more humble Christmas manger view?
Among homeless immigrants,
animals,
straw,
stars,
angels,
nationalistic violent intent
to unbirth a suffering servant of non-violent Peace,
teaching theological and political points
of healthy effective internal
with environmental co-governance,
natural/spiritual Correctness.
Peaceful Christmas to Healthy All
multinational residents,
whether Politically Correct citizens of Rome
or Washington
or Mecca
or Bethlehem
reborn through this our non-violent co-passionate messiah vocation
To follow Christ born in a temporary shelter
and in ambiguous paternity circumstances,
surrounded by stars and angels
and by threat of Politically Violent Incorrectness.
May we all become reborn in climates of non-violent health,
reborn in multiculturing friendship,
reborn in compassionate Politically Correct peaceful wealth,
and sufficient clean water
and air
and soil prosperity
for God the Father’s Kingdom
at healthyLeft with wealthyRight hand,
Yang with Yin,
Nature with Spirit effective sojourner feet and minds
and Peace-commissioned bodies,
Reborn PC non-violent self-with-other
co-governing strong intent and flow-practicing
historic scripture-rooted, seeded
Multiculturing healthy Life,
Compassioning Truth,
Loving integral WuWei.
Embracing my retiring place
includes not only green and granite geographic dimensions
in space
But also extending back experienced roots
of 264 seasons past
having co-evolved this matriarchal wombing 2020 present
As if co-gravitation of historic time
with current place
were a creative pre-visioned design of space
dipolar co-arising deja-vu choice
to embrace, with coincidental love revivals,
or disgrace, with even more bipolar fear-mongering,
And usually something merely mortal
yet immortally cooperative
in-between what has been competitive Win/Lose explained
and what could become WinWin integrity
of exclaiming dance and song
Embracing my ego place,
How could that go wrong?
While not ignoring ecosystemic health
of this historic evolving space,
sacred integrity of revolving incarnations,
romantic race
toward multiculturing grace,
Withour fear’s least merely secular
ZeroTrace.
gdill52 