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Who I Am Right Now

Who are you?
he asked perpetually, patiently
because I invited him to do so
until our time for contented me
to discover his diversely integrated/fragmented identities,
stories,
critical acting
and singing
and dancing
and warring
and terrorizing
and confronting events
right now,
and in past network iterations
and throughout future synergetic neural regenerations
of lifeline transgenerational memory.

Who are you?

I am an interdependent neural-systemic journalist,
a witness hoping to WinWin reconnect
with cooperatively invested communion ego-courage
to know and appreciate you,
your inhabited past
and echoing future
and my own best regenerative green sanctuary ego-self.

Who are you?

I am curious
about your enchantment
with interdependent neural webs
of communication,
toxic and therapeutic,
between humane capital heads,
comparing and contrasting green economic and nutritional co-investments
in democracy, not privilege,
usually cooperative,
but sometimes dissonantly suffering competing bodies
longing for relief
from EarthTribe’s WinToday to LoseTomorrow mortal enculturations,
wounding marks of perpetually anticipating tensions
about who we are
and are not yet
together.

Who are you?

I am future cooperating courage
to believe our WinWin dreams
and needs,
our hopes
co-arise positive and negative feelings
for and of, against and fleeing from,
green optimizing sanctuary communion
communities,
families,
hearts and minds
restoring polypathic neural democratic trust
communi-nonstatic
creolizing
vulcanizing resilience
between what we think and feel and resonantly say
and where we choose to use
our therapeutic hands and feet,
left dominant minds
punishing and restoring health-right holistic bodies,

Interdependent therapeutic webs
of natural body and spiritual minds
bent toward co-passionate green-means-healthy-grow relationships,
non-sectarian
non-partisan
non-violent
non-apartheid
non-privileged patience
with partial WinWin green sanctuary communions

Actively hoping for EarthTribal DNA interdependent stringing messages
within EarthPlaced integral HereNow messengers
listening, then gratefully speaking
Namaste.

Now it’s time to turn this listening/speaking table,
Who are you?

Then, for a later session,
How are we resiliently green cooperative communicators
communing communion communal
compassionate sanctuary together?

And,
please avoid terms like
communistic communalist
because that raises all sorts of toxic
anti-social isolating unkindness and impatient paranoia
and misunderstanding of original WinWin democratic motives
moving toward green social well-being prosperity,
as if liberality of love
could toxically threaten conservational green therapeutic defenses
found in robust democratic webs of deep resilience
rather than patriarchal fake-walls of privileged resistance.

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Dear Ivy

Dear Ivy,

I am sorry we did not receive even just a moment to say goodbye
and thank you to each other
for all those school bus rides we took together,
you in your harness,
and me in my wonder
about what’s coming next
from your talking head
to mine.

It is time for me to move on
to another student,
but I am happy to leave you in Miss Josie’s care.

I know she will enjoy your time
invested in each other,

Listening and taking turns speaking kindly with each other,
Singing and maybe even a little dancing together,
reading and drawing as light and bumps allow.

Maybe you can teach each other
some new KnockKnock jokes.

KnockKnock.
Who’s there?
Sandi.
Sandy who?
Sandy sandwiches
are not good for you.

KnockKnock.
Who’s there?
Josie.
Josie who?
Jo see for yourself,
Open the door!

I am grateful to have so many silly and lovely memories
of you
to take with me.

And, the greatest farewell gift you could give me
is your reassurance
that these same warm and happy memories
of us
are what you will carry with you
throughout your great adventurous journey
into well-being.

Warmly yours,

Sandi

Sandi who?
Sandy snacks
are not so good for you.

Note:

My behaviorally disordered ADHD and fetal alcoholic daughter, with abandonment issues and deep-seeded food anxiety issues, suddenly lost her long-standing school bus aide, probably to compassion burn-out.  Ivy can be a profound motivator of impatience in those around her, even with deep and widely developed caregiving and receiving skills. This is the farewell that I think Ivy would have found more therapeutic than the isolating complexities of disappearance without explanation or expressed gratitude for what did co-relationally work for so long.

To be clear, not saying goodbye was an administrative decision from above; not what Ivy’s aide wanted for herself or for Ivy.

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Uncategorized

Cooperative Communion

When we communicate aggressively,
cynically narcissistic
about Earth’s WinWin historical healthy wealth, ongoing
slow-grown into our great grandchildren’s regenerative future,

We abandon globally universal passions
for mutual care-giving and receiving
ego and eco-therapeutic cooperative missions,

We do not intend for the ego-messenger
to be ignored,
emotion un-intelligently shot down
along with our LeftBrain too dominant
unilateral,
sometimes too aggressively monocultural
privileged messages.

We’re often mis-communicating mortally-wounded humans,
whose ancestors have bicamerally reproduced resilient regenerations
more than cognitively affective degenerative wounds.

Instead, intending to communicate through communion gestalts
despite flawed WinLose ego-messengers
still longing to make enthymematically nice
polypathic WinWin eco-messages,

Healthy wealth engorged,
DNA vulcanizing,
creolizing,
affluent effluent rooted Elder RightBrain stem
branching non-sectarian networks
leafing non-violent webs
budding non-competitive WinWin economies
seeding co-passionate
co-arising dipolar
Here/Now
SpaceTime ZeroZones
both resilient and resonant,
both health and wealth co-passionate messages

Paid forward
through all affluent history with effluent herstory integrity
to speak enthymematic yang-cause with yin-infective solidarity
Positive 1s co-passioning bilateral 0-Zones

Informed by Earth’s healthiest well-being
this democratic energy-balancing
emergent WinWin green integral
not merely psychological
and not unjustly eco-political day.

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Empathic Communication

Great transitional resolutions,
effective, resilient communications,
like all communal, valid systems,
like all communions, vital paradigms,
grow robust as fueled by compassion

And grow frail
disrupted
blown up
as fueled by competitive aggression,
the narcotic nastiness of self-criminalizing narcissism,
internal externalizing terrorism.

Negative nutrition
is non-positive communication,
not non-violent transubstantiation,
not not absence of sustainable remuneration.

Negative, like absent zero, is distractingly difficult
to even dissonantly talk about
or through,
much less back and forth in a resilient way
Our almost total lack of nutritional resonant flow
despite our most compassionate positive communication
original intention
to communicate more happy democratic constitutional principles
of power for dynamically evolving wellness,
mutual well-being,
dynamic we-consciousness,
healthy co-passionate wealth.

Positive communication, resiliently predicted,
requires absence of negative miscommunication, dissonant

As perfect love
invites the absence of self-punishing sin

As compassionate goals
compel absence of narcissism,
absence of fear about claustrophobic ego-futures,
absence of reactive anger about past competitive egocentric wounds,
partially self-inflicted,

Absence of self-forgiveness for being LeftBrain dominant
human,
longing for great transitional resolutions…

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Uncategorized

Holiday Happiness Quest

Happiness comes in diverse packages,
high to low,
outside to inside,
light to dark.

From global premium Health
through local everyday
resiliently benign
steady-state Communion,
down toward sado-masochistic fake over/under-powering happiness
nihilistically ecstatic
denialistically empathic
dualistically manic
fundamentally terrorizing missions of anti-cultural delight in hate
zealous and haughty DarkGlee
violently fighting for self-righteous scrooge supremacy
because,
after all,
what else would omnipotent god’s gift
to this bought and sold benighted Earth do
in the face of such glamorously stupid
heart two sizes too large to tolerate toxic co-dependency?

Self-righteous DarkGlee
refueled by punishing yin’s communal integrity
for presuming to wear democratic empowering pants
in this violently sectarian
elitist inhumane family
ruling supremely over all other EarthTribes
and Earth
Her blighted birthing
benighted virginal Self.

In response to universal healthy happiness needs,
Peace emerges dark listening winter solstice born
to unite everyday peace
feeling and thinking
co-arising longing for hope-therapeutic actions
nutritional gift rooted
in interdependent
co-empathic
co-messianic
planetary identity.

Humane eco-divining everyday beings
becoming Earth’s HappinessTribe
by growing cooperatively therapeutic
healthy universal yang needs
co-gravitating unitarian integral yin-flow feelings,

Thoughts Adventuring empathic listening
silently hopeful
diurnal winter through summer happy co-investments
in and of and for cooperative climate gifts.

No unhappy commercial receipts required
for unfortunate non-communal returns.

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No Matter How Smaller

How would an infant speak and listen with a bird?

Like a bird?

In tweeted feelings
and benign twitters of belonging together
and voracious caws of young impatient hunger.

How is that different than leaders
speaking cooperatively with each dignified other,
than non-violent communicators for better or worse,
richer with poorer,
’til death tears us apart?

Sending our prime nature-spirited relationships
off and out convexly yang
to reunite in future healthy yinfants
speaking with yang/yin both/and neighbors
after listening carefully for win/win articulating needs
and co-empathic feelings
co-arising nondual co-arising
ZeroZone co-gravitating
enthymematic
communications
co-acclimations
creolizations
humane/divine sublimations
resilient transubstantiations
viral co-expressions
polyculturing impressions
multicultural affirmations.

Why would an infant speak and listen with a bird?

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Conspiring NonPerspiring Muse

I’ve heard about non-violent communication
but wasn’t deeply listening.
It didn’t seem to have much of a plot,
a lack of creative tension,
drawing my full survivalist attention.

So this is probably all wrong
that I’m not owning my conspiring dissonant feelings
and hungry needs
to eradicate conspiracy theories
that we are, and should, remain more mutual predators
playing violent ZeroZone economic
and political capital
and familial patriarchal offensive
disassociated non-communal feelings
left bereft uncharted right.

Needing to establish cognitive dissonance barriers
to fear of mutually winning intimacy,
mysterious anger about liberally inclusive love,
hellish despair about inability to control blessed creativity,
transparent absence of integrity between faith and science paradigms
yet loyalty to conserving Earth’s healthy secular opportunities
sacred commitment to all Her warm-wombed
non-violent HolySpirit communicating gospel singers
Dancers living in interdependent nutritional seasons
for birthing WinWin rapturous communication
despite pre-millennial residue
of WinLose nationalist conspiracy residuals.

On the other LeftBrain hand,
when I am a tribal parent and teacher,
mentor of domesticating animals,
a worshiper of edible and ornamental interdependently rich ecosystems,
a restoring truth speaker,
a deep beauty listener
and yet choose to still defend WinLose positions

To promulgate theological conspiracy theory views
of a disassociated
dualistic
violent voracious predator God
ruling against Earth’s intrinsic sacred Nature,
inflaming fear about health of future Earth generations
and anger about past sinful degenerations
of healthy multicultural family values,
then it is important to the health of democratic extending family trust
in non-violent democratic constitutional loyalty
authority
responsibility to and with all other organic EarthBodies
with Minds to declare peaceful revolutionary intent
to listen to
and share WinLose conspiracies
with appropriate historically re-associating humor
and predominance of Earth’s WinWin wisdom stories

Speaking and singing personal and public cooperative revolutionary experience
because we each choose to rehear history
as more of an unrealistic violent conspiracy
an UnReality NightMare ClimateShow
whispering to tell of LeftBrain dominant corruptions
rather than MotherEarth’s tribal herstory
as a Green non-violent
ultra-violet communication network
of primal ZeroZone RightBrain cultural prominence

Enchantment as more typically expressed
in a liberal non-violent loving
anti-bullying deep learning environment
typical of ultra-sound violet listening
and multicultural speaking and studying school
and homes in WinWin restorative peace
more than OldSchool retributive injustice
between WiseElder and younger voices
looking and longing for mentors in WinWin full-color singing
and dance ensemble
rather than continuing to evolve
a uniformly marching militaristic monoculture.

White evangelical
monotheistic
patriarchal churches
perspire
pushing devil-worshiping conspiracy theories.

Such theories are not just an alternative bad-faith view,
to be FirstAmendment tolerated
as rhetorically harmless fiction
disassociating projection
fueling potentially violent fake-patriotic predation.

White nationalistic competitive enterprise factories for violent fiction,
whether home or church or school,
are intentionally disassociative,
alienating,
internally dissonant,
a song repetitiously sung out of divine key

Fearing a bully predator within and behind every McCarthyan bush
except one’s own blaming and shaming fears
composed by not such truly divine conspiracy theories
to reward disassociating mortality with eternal LoseLose hell

While DNA and RNA remain more quietly amused
rebearing WinningWombs with WinningMother health-homes
born through regenerative non-violent communication recycles
repurposes
remeanings
reweavings
restorations
requirements
resilience
resonance
reiterations
wondering about cosmic WinWin feedback.

Like I said,
I’ve heard about non-violent communication
but wasn’t deeply listening.
It didn’t seem to have much of a robust plot,
a lack of creatively conspiring hypertension
pretension
co-acclimating retention
comprehension
drawing my secular yet sacred thrivalist attention.

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Word Producers

Producing large quantities of words
cleverly without considered substance,

Unveiling my needy novel entertaining intentions
yet not revealing news or even pretensions
about who I today am
becoming
or tragically have been,

Is this fertility
or merely self-absorbing pregnancy?

If the distance
between Earth’s nature
and Heaven’s spirit
is as precisely wide
and concisely deep
as a filament
figment of my imagination,

Then what could true or lie between
ecological processes of health
and theological systems of graced wealth?

If nothing lies polarizing between,
Then what more silence
need remain
dissonance unsaid?

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InDoorVoices, OutSide ComPassions

On this desecrating Earth
Nature’s BusinessAsUsual
is industriously
and perversely
secluded from Spirit–
naturality from spirituality,
climate health/pathology from internal weather events,
humane hope for health from divine faith in eternal wealth,

In our profane wealth-hoarding EgoGame,
short-term fatuous Win/Lose natural strategies
are loss-postponing futile dispiriting armaments,
empty entertainments,
pretend preoccupations designed to magically protect
against longer-term biological rotting death

Each Sacred Organic Dignity’s
inevitably stalking Loss of identifiable Life–
Loss of active hope for sacred Truths
Hidden within secular Beauty
or even experiential health-optimizing WinWin Ways
to everyday continue multi-regenerationally wealth
creative curiously courageous camouflage cooperative
Thriving.

In a secular-languaged
LeftBrain dominant culture,
sapien and RightBrain WiseElder,
Natural experience reminds us
to become profoundly grateful
Ego death’s natural outcomes
are predicated on input
experienced within spiritual EcoLife
EcoLogical Truth
Green Environmental hidden byways
matriarchally cooperative

Natural/Spiritual CoOwnership
of WinWin global through Ego aspirations,
attractions,
interests,
curiosities
timelesssly regenerating healthy/wealthy
nurturing and nutritional and nuanced Life
hiding Ego/EcoLogical Truths in plain relational loving light,
Left/Right bilateral short-
through long-term
timeless omnipresent Ways.

LeftBrain deductive secular Ego maps
of DNA Right BrainStemmed Rooted Healthy Wealth
sacred historically resilient
EcoTerritory–
hiding and dividing
inviting and revolutioning
LeftBrain’s
hidden undomesticated SpiritVoices
heard happiest from OutDoor Natural ReSources–
DNA resilient
health/wealth bilaterally resonant RealTime–
notnot ZeroSum Prime DiPolar Rooted
in CommonGround Light
CoOperative AnimaMundi Truths, MultiCultural.

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Can’t Make You Stalk Me

Turn up the lights
Fold up the bed
Turn up those voices
outside my head
Lay out for me
Feed me with lies
Just hold me up, your patron saint
Do matronize me

‘Cause I can’t make you stalk me
if you won’t
You can’t make your mind think something
it don’t
Here in my light,
in these early hours
I will pick up my heart
and not feel your power
But I can’t, no I won’t
‘Cause I can’t make you stalk me,
when you don’t.

I’ll freeze my eyes,
then you won’t see
The heart you don’t feel
when you’re not holding me
Evening will come
and you’ll do what’s wrong
Just give me till then
to give up this song
And you could give up our wrong

‘Cause I can’t make you love us
if you won’t
You can’t make your mind feel something
it don’t
Here in our light,
in these late hours
I will pick up my heart
and I’ll feel our power
But I can’t, no I can’t
‘Cause I can’t make you stalk peace,
when you don’t.

 

With apologies to Allen Shamblin and Michael Reid who cooperatively wrote one of my favorite songs.

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