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Unbright Intellectual Snobbery

When I was in grade school
I was, already,
on my leftbrain dominant path
toward acting the intellectual snob.

This, in large part
my best offense,
my trump card, sadly,
against marginalizing prejudice
of our community’s non-farmer economic
and political Elite;

The few kids
whose parents went to college
and/or inherited some above-the-norm property
business, preferably not agribusiness,
professional service assets
even the most straight white male
would appreciate
like doctors
and nursing wives,
two income households
with academic bright credentials.

By the time I reached high school
being on, or at least within sight of,
the top of my class,
and president of as much political property as possible,
or at least vice-president,
became my trump card
for getting out of rural SWM oppression,
depression,
suppression,

Where I was not safe,
back in the 1960s rural midwest,
and I could never possibly matter,
become one of the local community’s Elite,
a pillar of church and state
while overcoming the guilt and shame
of being the queer son
of a below median income family farmer.

Intellectual snobbery
was my leftbrain overwhelming defense
against rightbrain amygdala loneliness,
extreme social-sexual isolation,
drowning in cortisol-baptized self-stigmatization.

Leftbrain dominant academic skills
were my best offense
for succeeding out in urban
urbane
multicultural
cosmopolitan
singing and dancing
democratically compassionate
win/win feeling and acting society.

The only healthy society
that mattered;
where I could possibly matter,
and become transparent
and vulnerable
and connected
and safe.

That defensive snobbery
still, in 2020 hindsight,
lives in my deepest closet,
longing for warmer
more inclusive acceptance,
invitation,
compassion

For right brain radical interdependence
with those of us,
regardless of income
and lack thereof,
regardless of self empowerment
and lack thereof,
capable of engaging
and energizing this tragic comedy
of small staged love lives,

Rural and urbane
Healthy and wealthy
Ego and eco-therapeutic
Left and right brained
Smart and warmly co-passionate
Proud and humble

Divinely humane
playing more win/win trump cards
through more cooperative co-investment.

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Uncategorized

Citizens DisUnited

Awhile back,
in the Dred Scott decision,
SCOTUS denied rights of citizenship
to people of color
“as a subordinate
and inferior class of beings,
who had been subjugated
by the dominant race…”

So, we need not dig too deeply
to rediscover where straight white male supremacists
and systemic racist allies
might find our strongest
most toxic heritage
language
beliefs
lack of inclusive discernment,
absence of multicultural intelligence
united citizens experience,
values of all people
for all creatures here below.

Anyway,
with this precedent in place,
we might similarly nuance the Citizens United language,
giving corporations the rights of citizenship
without the responsibilities of healthy stewardship,
authority to buy media speech
and heavily invest in purchasing political competitions;

This right more transparently unveiled
as the authority of a superordinate
and superior class
of capital-acquiring beings,
masters of organic Earth’s climate degeneration
who have subjugated the unstraight
unwhite
unmale
suffering from non-elite lack of multiculturally appreciated face,
too slow race,

These assumptions
of who is SWM better than whom,
rooted in outworn
and unhistorical
and supremacist
win/lose environmental theories,
blossom as further toxic prejudice
against Earth’s primordial health rights
and humane responsibilities
to repair damages,
restore peace of natural/spiritual
left/right
west/east
north/south cultural hemispheres
of resonant geopolitical balance.

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Wealthy Communion

Our anti-racism, pro-polyculturing health
anti-egopatriarchy, pro-ecofeminist wealth
anti-homophobic, pro-trans-regenerative
anti-injustice Team, pro-restoring peace Organizers

Meet inside a viciously anti-outdoor
windowless
airless
music-less
museless
left-brain oppressively dominant room,
climate,
atmosphere,
attitude of ungratitude.

Two women I passionately admire,
would warmly accompany within any outdoor sacred space,
are doing their best to tolerate each win/lose Other
rather than actively extending curiosity
with each win/win AnOther potential integrity,

Noticing a difference between negative anticipatory weapons
and positively honing each Other’s communication tools
for win/win processing,
progressing solidarity that does not quickly
or easily,
comfortably, much less smugly,
dispassionately, or even ego-satisfactorily at peace
by inviting a short-term truce,
settling for continuing a win/lose communication walled history,
quick to celebrate remaining obvious win’wins
yet blind to risks of win/lose miscommunication
predicting long-term climate trends
of lose/lose chronically anxious anti-communion
dis-communication,
cognitive/affective
(ineffective for multicultural resonance)
dissonance.

I am not clear what to do,
how to intervene
to invite win/win reconsideration
without bombing our planning process,
and risking the mistrust of both strong and skilled women.

I’m new to this anti-racism/pro-multiculturing
sociological/ecological
co-relational inner/outer climate Team
for healing anthropological/ethological history,
for unraveling monoculturing excesses of humans
and weeds,
predators
unwilling to recognize balancing co-presence of prey,
secular thinkers
advancing sacred interdependent feelings.

It’s my first time meeting with,
listening to,
speaking with two of the five of us,
neither of which were the two
in a lose/lose chronic trend of trust
and positive communication
failure.

Yet I am also concerned
about our viability to engage our purpose statement:
“To end racism.”
Which feels like more than a quick and small win/win stretch
of even my most active no-longer-tolerating win/lose detente
imagination.

How will we immerse ourselves,
and help even just our local communities
compassionately and sustainably engage each other
in robust multiculturally trusting our mutual curiosities
across traditional monocultural communication divides,
long multigenerational histories of weakened communication loops,
lack of healthy ongoing inclusive relationships?
If two of our most skilled listeners,
compassionate speakers,
are not actively curious
about how we do
and do not
matter to each other
yet,
how we do
and do not
yet passionately trust
in each Other’s warmest win/win regard.

Perhaps if we had formed an outdoor planning circle
we might have noticed beauty communicated by egoless lilies
sharing a meadow,
anticipating resonance
and anxious warnings
of birdsong basking in peaceful warm sun
as primal message of co-attachment
accompaniment within,
between
among all restoring peace
as communal justice EarthTribes.

Perhaps we might have remembered forest intelligence;
A tree’s ecological root system,
developed to harvest and implant trusted nutrients,
And a tree’s theological sun-praising branch and leaf systems
developed to feed
and fuel
future regenerations of life,

Like right-brain old-rooted both/and discernment
to avoid our left-brain dominant either/or secular/sacred
outside/inside mistrusts
that Earth’s ecological nutrition communication
and theological sacred power relationships
could be anything more or less
than secular/sacred
outside/inside
cooperative win/win articulation
resonantly outside Earthed,
birthed inside through resiliently radiant light
co-passionately re-fueling
processing
mutually maturing
enriching courageous multicultural curiosity,
inside health
as intoned multicultural wealth outside;

Outdoors
as seasonally rhythmed indoors.

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Uncategorized

Sins of Our Fathers

In hindsight
I suspect my dad silently hoped,
secretly conceived,
vicariously needed his dream
I would become a multi-talented musician.

He said, No.
behind my mother’s gentle apron
strings of soft-voiced disappointment,
but also hidden within unspoken fear
of Catholic influence
when I was invited to join
The Vienna Boy’s Choir.

I was too young.
I would be missed–the farm was an absorbing enterprise.
I wasn’t ready.
They weren’t ready, yet,
to let go.

But, then offers of guitar
and piano
and trombone lessons,
and choir
and worship music leader
soon followed,
as if from straight white watered
washed
and lied patriots
blessed by prize-giving patriarchs
who listened barely long enough
to hear I was marketably good
as an entertainer,
a professional,
not just another deep soul singer
or deeply soiled male dancer.

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Democratic Poverty

I was listening to NPR yesterday
on my way to small green group ministries,
when I heard post-millennial Republicans
favor apartheid
while the contemporary urban-green Democrat
favors laziness.

I don’t know if this includes intellectual laziness,
lack of rigor,
and laziness about ecotherapeutic health,
but in either case,
this conflicts with my own experience,
regarding Democrats and lack of healthy motivation
but also of Republicans I actually know,
except perhaps my brother
and a Trump worshiping neighbor,
regarding apartheid as a fundamental religious constitutional right
to Christian evangelical colonizing supremacy
over all 3/5th former slaves
and other less fortunate criminals.

If Democrats are guilty of lazy love for restoring Earth’s
healthy subclimates,
both yin-side
and yang-outdoor voiced,
then what do we call Republican guilt
responsibility
lack of moral authority
to stop blowing each other
and trees
and Earth-habitat up,
both secular nature-systems
and sacred ZeroZone souls
of divine Matriarchal Grace.

When I arrived
to listen
and share non-verbal peaceful space
with my small green group alliance,
we sang and danced and spoke of connections
through active listening
rather than lazy lack of sufficient compassion
with suffering
and wealth of correlational enchantment
courageous coherence,
curious collusion,
collateral for healthy future prospects.

Then we each went home
in our own four directions
until we close our loops together
again next New Moon morning.

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Telling Stories

While there is no story at all
unless it has at least two sides,
when it comes to ego’s narrative lines
and epic paragraphs,
we have great difficulty in casting ourselves
as other than a one-sided protagonist story,
which others might see as including too much self-indulgent glory.

Winona LaDuke
tells a worship story of the Anishinaabe
defending their sacred home
with support from the Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples,
against further mining investments of commodifying Earth antagonists,
represented by the State of Michigan.

This story is about copper mining investors
against people who worship Earth
as sacred Habitat,
Elders of one EarthTribe extending family,
across species,
and back across first dawn of Time.

You have already guessed who is winning.

Why is that?
The quality of our spiritual and ecologically healthy lives
depends on questions
challenging competitive one-sided empowerment assumptions.

But, you are right, I suspect,
if you guessed that both sides are losing.

The RepublicanRuling White evangelical Christian
State of Michigan
ruled against the Anishinaabe
and against their own sacred Scripture
and spiritual experience.
Water and land, they say,
cannot be sacred,
cannot have spiritual development significance
and deep and rich and wide meaning
because a protected place of worship
must be inside a building.

I don’t have a PhD in King James Bible Studies,
but I do have a Master of Divinity degree
from a duly licensed
and officially accredited Christian seminary
in the U.S.
and I’m fairly sure I remember
Christian Worship takes place,
rather uniquely,
in human hearts and minds and bodies,
wherever they might happen to be located
in space and time,
inside, maybe, but, for many,
preferably outside.
Most of the history in the Bible
is outside worship history.

Surely gardens were Eden’s first cathedrals.
Why would the State of Michigan pretend otherwise?

Why would KingJames Bible thumpers
and HellFire prophets,
patriarchal evangelists
and patriotic disciples of God’s omnipresent Love
allow their regulators and legislators
and executives,
acting in their HolyScriptures name,
tolerate such a clear misrepresentation of worship
as taught and lived by JesusChrist,
pretty much outside
and especially sweating blood in gardens
and walking on sacred water?

Why accept such an absurd misconception of worship
without economic or political
or personal or vulnerable question
this is patently absurd one-sided stealing
for money-making redistribution purposes
from spiritually rich to feed toxic desecration
to all residents of Michigan
and Lake Superior
and Turtle Island.

Absurd to confine worship indoors
to anyone
from anywhere
who has had the natural-spiritual experience
of being born
from any sacred matriotic womb
of God’s EarthTribes.

Intolerable rape of Truth
to any healthy Christian
with opportunities
to worship outdoors
while reading Psalms
and Proverbs
and natural-spiritual Sacred Parables
about harvesting grace
planted in seeds of divine gratuity.

What is truly healthy faith
within our buildings of worship
is merely a pale reflection
of truly spiritual experience
derived long before we built buildings
as defensive shelters
against sacred elements
of MotherEarth.

I have known authentically patriotic Christians
to find more freedom worshiping God
on sacred rocks
born of spirited Lake Superiors
as compared to claustrophobia while boxed up inside
binding fear and threat constraints
of evangelically booming buildings
and fundamental absence of spiritual discernment constraints.

Worship, like Wonder,
looks for God’s ReStorative Justice and Peace,
to let go of stuckness
in Retributive Vengeance is DivinePower
over Lake Superior commodification issues
about who and what and where
is most biblically saved
after God’s Word
has spoken first and last outdoor spiritual experiences,
voices of Earth’s sacred natures
and divinely-inspired Great Spirits.

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PolyBoxes of Tradition

I faced alarming paradoxes
as I headed toward puberty.

First,
my King James Bible-belting parents,
extended family,
and all-hopelessly-WHITE farm community
taught me

God loves me
and all the children,
red and yellow,
and black almost as much as white.

That felt good
but then I learned God hates me
because I became queerly obsessed
with hot guys,
and not hot girls.
So, God created me
so He could hate me.
That seemed like poor planning to me,
and I was still in fifth grade.

Then I learned that God had given me two extraordinary gifts:
Possibly unmeasurable intelligence,
and so,
my grade-school principal warned
my evangelical farmer parents,
we were not to be surprised
if I was and saw this Earth
in a somewhat different way.

My second gift
was the envy of all good Bible-belted teenagers.
I could sing with the angels.

So,
the God of Infinite Love
is my Creator
and I am His Frankenstein Queer
with a mind and singing voice to soar,
full of Grace.

You and I might both be surprised
how long it took to figure out
Something is very wrong with this picture,
and I don’t think it is just me.
It was merely everyone else I knew and trusted
in that Bible-belted time.

So I sang for them in full voice
but gave as little voice to my sexuality as possible.
I wrote papers and test responses
in full A+ voice
but told no one
I knew they were asking wrong questions
for me to answer with full-versed integrity,

Free to sing with David and Jonathon
free of magic superstitions
standing in for mythic polypathic wisdom
of Solomon

Not to divide innocent organic Promise
God has conjoined as Love
of and for children,
red and yellow,
black and white,
gay and lesbian,
bisexual and transgender

And, yes, even straight-faced
Bible-belting out Hate
and Supremacist Evangelical Christian Colonizing InBred Correctness,
while continuing to give birth
to hidden,
shamed and blamed queer Grace
of a Loving God
polypathically immense,
deep and wide,
future through past
regeneratively just
and peaceful
and wickedly funny

Because if we cannot laugh at our egocentric stupidities,
then we must cry out for cosmic tragedy.

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