Tag Archives: change

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Imposed Unemployment

These matters of imposed sequestration,
home health quarantine,
residential segregation,
safety zone re-education

Can also become
contemplative solitude
growing sacred mindfulness,
healthy wealth revision,
2020 wealth of health
bicameral precision,
monoculturing capitalist rescission,
dipolar non-division;

Social,
political,
economic communication
significantly emerge from personal preference
but also left-hemisphere patriarchal enculturation
no different than propaganda
if delivered with both left and right-hemisphere
collusion intent,
unnaturally sinister,
calculating desecration,
the stuff of deep state
and dark conspiracy theories

Either True or False
or both/and complexly
ego/eco-bilaterally ambiguous,
subtle,
nuanced thought with unpolarized feelings
for interior nurtured spiritual intention
and exterior nutritional natural extension,

Discernment of which solitary seeds
and subterranean root systems are health watered
and wealth weeded,

And which are treated like worthless weeds,
not to be watered with contentment,
fed with commitment,
nourished for cooperative values,
cherished within ecosystemic futures,
compassioned.

This weediness of ego-neediness
prays for non-preying return
to ecosystemic communal fullness.

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New Year Masquerade

For what manner of beast,
sad creature,
mad monster,
deeply dark angel east,
does everyday accompaniment
seed cold contempt
instead of bleeding warm sacred resonance?

Should beloveds
not expect to grow in sublime stature
not despite, but for humored respite, flirtatious flaws,
fallen fractured nature, merely human
after and before All.

Divine epiphany,
fully-flowered gods and holy-climaxed goddesses
relinquishing anti-divine powers
redundantly secularized,
now old bad not-news,

Flaws adored
because of these robust fractures
of opportunity
to remind Belovers:

Silent patience bleeds compassion
heading toward disgust,
self-shaming,
other-blaming
for missed transcendent mindful bliss

Of anima–
dark animal angel nature

Away from all this daily mundane muck,
life not as love would design us
but Earth’s timeless generations
have invited each of holy us
uniquely to let go of contemptuous patience
with ourselves and other-selves,
ego-beings and eco-becomings

To grab hold of sublimely sacred nature
here in this deep dark in-between place.

Here
where human nature grows most profligate
and naked
and vulnerably courageous

To consider all missing facts
of life most fully considered
and love regardless
as if each sacred absent moment,
each transitioning year,
were our health wealthiest last
and final 20/20 revision

Since we first sacred emerged
into social
and cultural
and eco-political light,
divine and mundane,
sublimely sacred and routinely worthy
of good-humored contempt,

And,
most cutting double-edge of all,
this curiously courageous humane nature
spiritually in-between
already old
and reasonably new

Empires
and masquerading inspirations.

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Wealthy 2020 Climates

What do I mean
when I struggle to define my vocation
as a Climate Activist?

How am I anxious
and how might I more positively
anticipate?

An Activist,
hoping for resilient interrelationship
and resonant communication equity,
feedback and forth loops,
is, first, a listening contemplative,
Reflector,
Meditator,
EgoTherapeutic Investor.

We listen
not only with and for egalitarian balance,
non-violent communications,
compassionate cooperative therapies,
democratic relationships of warm appreciation,
but also with and for multicultural win/win input
predicting robust health
of dynamic climate outcomes.

But, what could we mean
by longing for a more sacred Climate?
Green organic outside,
red-blooded holistic nutrition inside.

Climate may be habitat
and energy system,
healthy when not only democratically egalitarian
but also inclusively,
organically interdependent,
like networks of self/other-regenerating systems.

Climates,
ecological and neurological,
outside and inside,
seek healthy harmonies,
musical muses,
liturgical dancers
cast by revolving Earth
and revolutionary peace-trusting EarthTribes,
spinning in-between Sun and Moon,
external and internal win/win orbits
of light and dark,
health and pathology,
love and hate,
communication and dissociation,
relationship and segregation,
rightbrain intersectionality and leftbrain either/or reductive apartheid,
yinflow both/and yang-strength.

In this uneven
unresolved
LastDay
eternally timeless moment
of 19 year old anxiety, for non-elite youthful listeners,
of anticipation, for seasoned polypath poets
and priests,
polyphonic preachers
and multi-theistic teachers
and Climate Activist polycultural prophets

Unfolds tomorrow’s Alpha 2020 Day
of democratic energy optimization,
equally and interdependently heard system inside
before resiliently and resonantly felt
before spoken
with universal
transparently substantial
gratitude,
2020 outside,
secular/sacred ReMembering.

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In Our Taoist Zone

Yang (1) and Yin (0) Zones
are place-holders,
polynomial variables
for appositional co-arising relationships,
tensions, creative and not so much,
intentions

Such as white and color,
monoculturalism and multiculturalistic transubstantiation,
RightWing and RightBrain
conservative of past and progressive into compassionate future
elite and non-elite, in political philosophy
and history
of colonization with active hope for creolization,

Patriarchal and EcoFeminist polycultural intent,
healthy wealth,
win/lose competitive games
pretending not to want win/win cooperative
co-passionate
co-investments.

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What Did You Expect?

What did you expect
on your way to shared sanctuary today?
Did you expect to return unchanged?
The same as that earlier person
on your way?
What would be your purpose
for participating in this faithful revolution
with such slight anticipation?

What did you mean
when you said, about tomorrow,
It already is only the other side of this cameo-staged day?
The other side of yesterday
Each day as unique as fingerprints
worn down and raised up
pressed out to regrow in
harmed and healed
ridged and faded
miraculous unchanging change
between yesterday
and tomorrow’s seamless identity.

On your way up and out this morning,
did you truly expect to go to sleep tonight
the same person,
a day older
but probably not sufficiently wiser?

On your way to sleep tonight,
rooted in yesterday’s warm and cold experience,
why wouldn’t you expect to arise tomorrow
in the second half of this conscious time,
changed by dreams of risky adventures
in unchanging opportunistic sanctuary?

Anonymous personal expectation
for intimate political anticipation
Withdrawn from constant shadow
drawn toward changing light.

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For Every Light, A Season

For every state,
property, inside or out,
every unchanging constant,
a hint of hopeful restating,
healthier transitioning, outside and in,
correlation communicating constant change.

For every constant changing (x) variable
a hint of timelessness,
resilient eternity,
dynamic (y) rediscovering.

For every open touch function,
potential for deeper resonant feeling flow.

For every win/lose courageous risk,
potential win/win curious co-opportunity.

For every new sound,
a chance for wider hearing
with new ears.

For every leftbrain either/or thought,
a rightmind emotive hint
toward both/and polyphonic ease
of warmth with light, co-resident.

For every voice of God,
a hint of warm wet Goddess.

For every co-present Gaia,
a hint of constant seasonal change.

For every negative anxiety,
a hinting glint for positive anticipation.

For every secular psychological experience,
potential ecologically sacred relationship,
complexly interdependent.

For every historical process,
potential for multiculturing progress.

For every synergetic procedure,
a chance for integrity’s deep and widening potential.

For every warm-lit eco-balancing life,
a hint of cold-dark ego-supremacy death.

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Inclusive Epiphany

Your euphony
sounds like my epiphany
he explicitly noted.

Your polypathic resilience
feels like my polyphonic resonance
she compassionately warmed and comforted,
nurtured and nutritioned.

Your theologically divine relationships,
progressions through historical multicultural experience
think and feel my ecologically natural communions,
processions through polyculturing anticipations,
s/he silently sang,
imaginatively danced,

Not for future performance,
but from past inclusive participations,
investments,
compassionate regenerations,
dispassionate degenerations,
passionate incinerations,

Euphonic epiphanies.

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WeToo Bucket Lists

My list of domestic chores
vocations
avocations
I no longer wish to know and do
grows longer with each advancing year.

And, because I live with no one
capable and willing to work with me,
side by side,
or even in alternating shifts
and loads
and harvests
and plantings,
it is difficult to grow experientially sure
my motivation has faded entirely,
whether with at least one Other,
or by myself
with only nonhuman fully-abled natures
for song and dance accompaniment.

But, what of my non-domestic bucket list?
That larger stage of ecofeminist transformation,
ecovillage healthy wealth invitation,
sanctuary, green and/or multi-colored celebration
for compassionately resilient
and nutritional communication,
active hope,
sacred trust vocation
for
and of
and within Earth’s warmly integral home
and Great Transitional hearted heart potential.

No bucket I could imagine
would fill all these polypathic double-binding destinations
becoming wealthy here
and trans-regenerationally healthy throughout time
communioned here as now
to my remembering mind

And further fortune future-hunting heart
fulfilling our whole EarthBucket
with passion’s perpetually young
embodied co-investments
transcending past wealth
through immanent
imminent future inclusive health.

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Transformation v Change

Today I heard,
despite considerable dissonance,
a distinction between external change
and internal transformation.

This feels like a difference with some merit,
but reminds me of further nuances
and possibilities for healthy
and pathological transitions,
great and small.

Transformation
seems like a good thing.
A negative internal change
evokes words like
deterioration,
fragmentation,

While “change”
works for me
as positive or negative,
more neutral without context,
direction determined by environmental co-arisings,
or yet to become determined,
evaluated,

And what about the cause-effect
and/or co-arising relationship,
or lack of relationship,
between exterior changing climates
and interior transforming/fragmenting cultures
or climates,
character
and character assassinations?

I remember Gregory Bateson’s fascination
with “acclimation”
which he concluded is, in some ways,
co-acclimation–
more often creolizing
than colonizing.

Which brings me back
to noticing that “climate change”
feels like climate fragmentation
and my growing pre-traumatic stress
does not feel at all like a healthy transformation;
more like debilitation

Further evoking discernment
about how our cultural subclimates of disability,
fracture,
disruption of ego/eco-centric balance,
contribute to toxicity
of exterior climate change.

Perhaps “transition” is a better interior consort
for the exterior neutered face of “change”;
and here we all are,
together and yet too far apart
in this unprecedented time
of Re/De-Generative Change
and billions of individual small
yet Great Transitions.

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Slow-Cooked Conversion Stories

I was raised in one of those white nationalist churches,
passing itself off as a Christian evangelical Bible church,
where “evangelical” meant fundamental
and “fundamental” meant we did not interpret scripture
but accepted it as God’s literal trans-historical Word
of universal white male dominant
Bible thumping supremacy,
transcendently un-changing like…
like…
like nothing I’ve ever seen or heard
or smelled or tasted

Which is why we call not-Him-or-Her “God”
and not “SuperEgo”
or multicultural “Gaia”

Or anything else.
It turns out “God”
is a bit like not saying Valdemore’s name;
As Yahweh
is more about the ambiguously missing vowels
than their YHWH
YYXY
Either/Or-Both/And
bicameral structure.

Anyway, enough about sacred bisensory ecology.
While at People’s Bible Church
I was told, by all the white heterosexual adults
supporting and educating me
that being born again is not a gradual thing,
like growing into a pubescent body,
but instant,
like convenient oatmeal
or inferior mashed potatoes.

If I could not say,
with one hundred percent persuasion,
that I was reborn in Christ
on May 8, 1964
at 2:53 PM
Eastern Savings Time,
Just as I was originally born
on May 8, 1952
at 2:53 A.M.,
much to my mother’s inconvenience–
finished just in time to get home
to our dairy farm
for an unleisurely visit with “The Girls”
during her morning milking parlor gig–
Then the deviant
devilish mark of Satan
still clouds my not so milky white
not straight enough
not truly pure soul.

Such instant and yet resilient grace
felt unlikely to me.

I did not instantly lose hope
for a hot SantaDaddy
sliding down our family chimney
emerging from the family wood-burning furnace,
scorched of unnecessary
and superfluous clothes
to give me all the fruited manly gifts
I have felt so empty without
warm and wet accompaniment,
accomplishment.

Gradually,
over several years of neglecting this Santa myth
as cultural fantasy,
I did not wake up on May 8, 1956,
at 2:53 A.M.
and announce to all those not listening,
“I no longer believe in Santa Claus.”

De-mythification progress
seems to take me
about as long as my left-brain
dominating commodification process
took to grow into queer adolescence,
feeling unsafe,
unwanted,
with a best case possible future
of invisible insignificance,
hidden deeply beneath healthy humility.

Just as it took awhile to comfortably acclimate
to the toothlessness of myth,
It took me all my development years
on into late adolescence
to be sure that I would never safely
or resiliently convert
into a heterosexual.

When we were mutually experimenting grade school boys
during not much sleep overs
I was sure we shared the same destiny–
future heterosexuals,
Mr. Cleavers,
Mr. Smiths
not all too fascinated with Mr. Johnsons.

I didn’t suddenly realize,
“Oops. I failed to convert.”
Maybe I was a late bloomer,
just as some girls get pubes
and teats
and mensies later on
which seemed like more unfair girl pressure
than just sprouting new hair in old moist places
and growing at least somewhat less girlish voices.

Just as there was no May 8, 2:53 P.M.
of any year
when I knew,
“OK, that’s it.
It’s done growing
in both length and width.”
I had no day or night
when I said,
“OK, that’s it.
I choose to be queer”
so I can be the target of hate crimes,
bad jokes,
white Christian heterosexual predators,
bigoted employers,
homophobic police
and teachers
and parents
and siblings,
and preachers

Fully capable of witnessing against me
the exact date, time, and year
they began their life long love affair
with white male Jesus Christ,
straight (presumably) Jewish carpenter’s apprentice,
Son of God and…
and…
God,
who finished creating Earth,
and at least our entire Solar System,
exactly seven days
after He started, on May 8th
at 2:53 A.M.,
year 0000.

I have developed health-considered faith
in win/win progressive processes.
I accept that faith actively hopes in unseen relationships,
unheard communications,
unnoticed actions and reactions.

Still,
I find an always changing
transparent
vulnerable,
courageously curious difference
between left-brain statements of verbal instant faith,
and right/left-brain emerging lifeskill learnings
conversions
healings
redemptively felt economies,
salvific co-relational powers,

And I have trouble believing
that such ubiquitous differences
between slow-grown processive maturation
and imitative instant role-playing
is only accessible to queers,
white, black, brown, red, purple, green, or ultra-violet,
born on May 8, 1952
at 2:53 A.M.
much to the inconvenience
of busy heterosexual
pre-millennial dairy farmers.

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