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LeftBrain Trauma

My leftbrain deductive reason
now sadly sees 16/20,
since 2016 a patriarchal white privileged hierarchy
of orthodox RightWing religious social history,

Where I am either egomaniacally at the self-righteous top
of my competitive win/lose hierarchical game,
or I am a victim,
bottom-feeder
bleeder prey,
mortally morally wounded,
living in the treacherous and hated boundary
between today’s fading hellish life
and inevitable loss of leftbrain dominant reason
for autonomously existing
merely to survive
for yet another depressing
rainy Monday of meaningless
sold-out
grey capital-monopolistic
Business as either/or
win/lose degeneratively natural
normative
spiritless
deprived
depraved predation
extraction….

Meanwhile
My more both/and co-empathic rightbrain
inducting fluid 20/20 emotions
feels ecofeminist
[not ego-militant]
green, yet full-spectrum,
multicultural warm Earth-lattice of interdependent circles,

Reverse revolving matriarchal
anti-hierarchical encultured
imprinted
co-passioned empowering
non-violently embedded
resonantly wombed
intersectionally organic
transubstantiating left intelligence disempowering
into right wisdom, up inside down,
creolizing
win/win positive healthy communication
of interactive win/win hope,
resiliently enduring faith,
robustly wealthy webs,
not so much either/or walls,
of polypathic
polyphonic
polynomially ZeroZone balancing
binomial
bilateral
bicameral compassion,

Belonging,
safety,
enduring warm significance,
accompaniment,
curious cooperative inquiry
and co-investing trust

Despite leftbrain’s hierarchical non-elite
non straight
non white
non male bottom-bleeder victimization,

RightBrain’s most robust
resonant
and resilient EarthTribe
remembering 20/20 fire circle multicultural singers
and polycultural liturgical dancers,
lyrical speakers
who non-violently listen
with well-balanced co-passioning breath

Bicameral heart-beaters
compassion power,
energy,
healthy democracy of left with right
GoldenRule balancing climates
through positive health co-investment.

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Uncategorized

My History of Mystery

We are ecological science
and con-science
and unconsciousness.

We are story
and egological storyteller
and unknown
unheard
unseen.

Earth’s humane act
and actor
and theologically transcendent stasis.

The dance
and dancer
and deaf
and frozen

The song
and singer
and silent
muted
anticipation
and anxiety.

The play
and player
and absent
uninvited
worker.

The thought
and thinker
and feeler
and numb.

The garden
and gardener
and consumer
and starving.

The Earth
and EarthTribe
and Ego
and Interdependent
DNA and RNA place-timed relatives,
matriarchal regenerators
regenerations
degenerations
ungenerated energy
entropy
untropy
anti-morphic
metamorphic
metaphor.

We are leftbrain either/or polynomial
rightbrain polyphonic
ecopolitically polypathic
positive trust energy democracies
health/wealth
ego/ecosystems
bilateral
bicameral
binomial nonzero-sum balancing

The science story,
and consciousness storytellers
and yet unconscious
unfelt
unknown,

The patriarchal history
of and for eco-matriarchal mystery.

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Uncategorized

Not That You Depressingly Asked

Not that you asked,
or ever would feel free to inquire,
yet perhaps you grow ready to listen
to a voice inviting exit
from your,
and our,
long loneliness,
self-contempt,
isolation so shelled-over,
so embedded,
you are sure we are each and all
unredeemably alone

In our envy of others,
the positive deviants
with apparently healthy organic
and resonant
and resilient relationships

While we remain powerless to conjure enough curiosity
to discover
and/or rediscover
our own win/win potentialities,
personal
and political,
economic
and ecologically regenerative.

Depression conjures
dark apartness messes
all your own too-competitive fault.

But, your depression,
emotional and/or economic,
political and/or environmental,
like my own,
is no more or less your fault
than is Donald Oompa Trumpa President
of all anti-ecological wisdom,
a new ungreen post-millennial oxymoron,
and Earth’s algorithmic degeneration
into lose/lose fragility,

And privileged human SuperEgo’s declention
disarray
dismay
despair into xenophobic rabidity
oligarchical madness
global depression
mutual suppression
liberally invested in every thing
but love,
curiosity
recovering win/win birth canal memory,
a magical moment of hope for Earth’s warm light
of lifetime win/win recovery.

Your depression is your fault
only in this warm right-brain accompaniment sense
of feeling and knowing we are a fluid,
yet stuck, State
that is our shared win/lose fault
of left-brain dominating culture
parsing compassion stingily,
saving for glorious and
win/win right-brain interdependent
un-lonely Rapturous sacred end.

But, as every community organizer
and integral permaculture designer
and restorative justice advocator
knows from win/win v win/lose v loselose
retributive v restorative justice experience,
we cannot end a resilient health-building project
that will include
any and all multicultural win/win faith
if we did not embody already inside
as we began
pushing through our original organic tunnel
toward Earth love’s first light
and unmuted sounds
of greeting,
warm accompaniment
universal co-present love,

Hope
faith in EarthMother’s warm feeding breast
from whence we each compassion came
come
and go.

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Uncategorized

Unbright Intellectual Snobbery

When I was in grade school
I was, already,
on my leftbrain dominant path
toward acting the intellectual snob.

This, in large part
my best offense,
my trump card, sadly,
against marginalizing prejudice
of our community’s non-farmer economic
and political Elite;

The few kids
whose parents went to college
and/or inherited some above-the-norm property
business, preferably not agribusiness,
professional service assets
even the most straight white male
would appreciate
like doctors
and nursing wives,
two income households
with academic bright credentials.

By the time I reached high school
being on, or at least within sight of,
the top of my class,
and president of as much political property as possible,
or at least vice-president,
became my trump card
for getting out of rural SWM oppression,
depression,
suppression,

Where I was not safe,
back in the 1960s rural midwest,
and I could never possibly matter,
become one of the local community’s Elite,
a pillar of church and state
while overcoming the guilt and shame
of being the queer son
of a below median income family farmer.

Intellectual snobbery
was my leftbrain overwhelming defense
against rightbrain amygdala loneliness,
extreme social-sexual isolation,
drowning in cortisol-baptized self-stigmatization.

Leftbrain dominant academic skills
were my best offense
for succeeding out in urban
urbane
multicultural
cosmopolitan
singing and dancing
democratically compassionate
win/win feeling and acting society.

The only healthy society
that mattered;
where I could possibly matter,
and become transparent
and vulnerable
and connected
and safe.

That defensive snobbery
still, in 2020 hindsight,
lives in my deepest closet,
longing for warmer
more inclusive acceptance,
invitation,
compassion

For right brain radical interdependence
with those of us,
regardless of income
and lack thereof,
regardless of self empowerment
and lack thereof,
capable of engaging
and energizing this tragic comedy
of small staged love lives,

Rural and urbane
Healthy and wealthy
Ego and eco-therapeutic
Left and right brained
Smart and warmly co-passionate
Proud and humble

Divinely humane
playing more win/win trump cards
through more cooperative co-investment.

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Uncategorized

I Would Like To Listen More

I would like to hear
with no urgent need to speak
and to respond
without reacting,
over-acting.

I would like to hear
your experience with faith and faithless communities,
theistic
and atheistic,
sacred
and secular believers
and unbelievers,
communal investment positive
and fear and anger
flight and fight negative,
healthy
and pathological,
resonant
and dissonant.

And I would like to hear the same
about political power experience,
partisan
and non-partisan,
green democratic
and libertarian republican,
militaristic
and more peacefully resonant
green new deal ecopolitical parties
and win/win games of cooperative discussion
and win/lose strategies of capital-headed competitions.

And I would like to share
our hopes and dreams
of future faith cooperative ownership
and empowerment party management
for public healthy climate resonance
and private wealthy resilience,

I would like to hear us sing
for our win/win democratic cooperative suppers,
expressed in liturgical dance,
unrepressed fire circles
impressing nature/spirit bicamerals
locally through globally contagious
listening cameras.

I would invite us to share
where we have been
and where we would like to journey together
for our own health
and climate resonance,
And so our children
and grandchildren
and their children
will look lovingly back on us
gathered here this and future days
to claim their shared health inheritance,

“In their lunch space
and climate public residential time
of great unraveling,

They didn’t just eat together,
they dined smart
and swallowed multicultural grace
until so full of wealthy health
they learned to sing and dance
to pray and play
to faith and power
our way
toward this very resilient
win/win
sacred/secular
right/left bilateral
warm accompaniment day
of cooperative interdependence.”

Our children will benefit
from our social-psychological wealthy interdependent health,
of course,
but also political-economic binomial equity-investment,
polypathic and also not not polynomial balance
theological and ecological
great reweaving analogical,
metaphoric and polyphonic
20/20 listening.

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Uncategorized

Universal-Unitarian Trinity of Zero

Atheism,
for a Taoist
and for U-Us
and Zeroists,
and Not ZeroSumists,
and Positive ZeroZone Therapists,
is synonymous with Agnosticism
and maybe Gnostic BiCameral Consciousness.

Healthy skeptics,
but not pessimists,
Agnostics understand how win/lose leftbrain either/or dominant
intelligent people
confuse Atheism with AntiTheism
but do not internally suffer from these competing
and ambivalent
anxious
depressing confusions.

For both a Taoist philosopher-writer-composer-musician-muse
and a UU multicultural Truth/Power lover,
it feels unbalanced to be open only to appreciating Universal Theists
and closed to the unitarian
interdependently egalitarian AntiTheists among us,
all potential allies along life’s loving theological
ecologically co-relational journey

Just as it is Left with Right hemisphere wrong, both thought and felt,
to accept a culturally reinforced Thesis
but not a multiculturally contextual
appositional
compare and contrast AntiThesis,
like YangStrength with YinFlow,
like Left with Right bilateral unwinged communion,
like Outside with Inside climate solidarity,
like Left Privilege with or against Dark Fragility,
like Elite cooperatively with
or competitively against NonElite,
like Win/Win with Lose/Lose spectral re/de-generativity,
like Ego WealthyIdentity with and against EcoSystemic Healthy Individuation…

Between internal MonoTheistic Spirit
and external AntiTheistic Nature
lies a multicultural pandemic of economic
investing/divesting theologies

Our subjective
and objectively felt personal knowledge
win/lose evolves,
lose/lose revolves,
win/win resolves

I’ve noticed, so far,
along my UU-Taoist journey:
PolyTheism
PanTheism
Zeroism
PanEnthemematic Communionism
MultiCultural Win/Win ReGenerativism
Health/Wealth Nature/Spirit CoOperativism,
sadly, Win/Lose Capitalism

And have no doubt
we will, across eternal time
and timeless space
know and grow
unknown and despised and revised
many more variations
on this Yang/Yin
Thesis/AntiThesis
EgalitarianUniverse Rights / InterdependentUnity Responsibilities
LeftBrain Dominant / RightBrain Prominent
WarmThoughts with FluidFeelings
dipolar co-arising
Ego-Theo-Eco-triumvirate
trinitarian without capital
heady
egotistic
narcissistic over-investment in Trumpistic Triumphalism
of leftbrain autonomous illusion

Truth and Beauty and Trust
actively looking for
easier not not co-passion themes
of past faith
with future hope
for today’s sufficient love.

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Uncategorized

Two Mints In One

My multiculturing sanctuary
includes an anti-racism team.

Our closest synagogue ally
has an anti-defamation league.

Both my Team
and our League
are against contempt for Earth
and all Her natural/spiritual Tribes and Systems,
Networks and PassionStories.

We are composed of anti-patriarchal feminists
not against non-violent actions,
and against non-verbal
and verbal
and pre-verbal
and reverberating
not-healthy communications.

For shared agendas
that feel so robustly positive
by discovering mutual resonance
hoping for immediate
through long-term resilience,
cherishing an experience of healthy
cooperative
interfaith family,
It feels surprising how our culture,
verbal and non-verbal language
grow so replete with double-negatives,
double-binds,
not not positives
stuck in fight or flight immobilization

Looking for more robust defining ways
to claim cooperative economies,
compassionate ecofeminist politics,
integral win/win healthy democratic strategies
for ego and eco-systemic
polypathic
polyphonic
therapeutic wealth.

 

 

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Uncategorized

Therapeutic Democracy

Democracy is what we do
and breathe together
to empower ourselves.

Some would say the same of prayer
and holy communion
and secular communication
and healthy relationships.

Democracy seems like an empowering experience
of equality and interdependence
before it became an anti-royalist political philosophy.

Which may serve as a humbling reminder
that great abstract theories
so left-brain universally fascinating
derive from whole mindbody experience
of individual egos,
healthy or other-unwise.

If no ego-experience,
then no ecosystemic consciousness
of democracy
or autocracy
or kleptocracy
or plutocracy
or capitalocracy
or theocracy
or patriarchacy
or even warm accompanying matriarchacy.

Multiculturing democracy,
a hybrid of egalitarian aspirations
and interdependent respirations,
requires organized
stable
win/win ego/theo-logical communication,
ecological relationships.

Disorganized communication
is an oxymoron,
like enriching divestment
and disturbing attachment
and democratic capitalism
and resilient win/lose compassion.

Democracy is what we win/win breathe
do
develop together
to empower egohealth
and wealthy ecosystems.

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Uncategorized

Soup Kitchen Luncheon

He said s/he was a Permaculture Designer
of cooperative economies.

I asked him/her why I should care about designs
long-term
while I am still struggling through this day
before tomorrow,
when I, best case scenario,
awaken healthy
to begin surviving yet another day
before night’s cold unrest.

So glad you asked
s/he seemed to say
without youthful presumption
of telling me what I already knew,
Good question!

Permaculture Design is rooted in Game Theory,
for those more math and economic science inclined,

Defining our cooperatively-held
long-term resilient
public and private
secular and sacred health outcomes

Through win/win projections
and ego/ecotherapeutic
0/1 cooperative bilateral co-relational zone analysis.

Before I had a chance to mention
that this does not warmly resonate
for the 99% who could care less about theoretical
and/or experiential
math and economic science,

S/he continued,
For those more politically empowerment/disempowerment oriented,
Cooperative Permaculture Design
follows your/our most optimally resonant
left/right
onezone/zerozone
nature/spirit
Western dualism/Eastern elite/non-elite nondualism
polycultural relationships
balancing polypathic designs with polyphonic health/wealth synergy,
resilient either/or deductive thinking
AND resonant both/and bicameral inductive compassion therapy,
ego-internal as integral with eco-contextual.

While this, too, seemed far too abstract
for warm and inviting lunchtime conversation,
I asked if s/he might try again
about how this could possibly change our lives together.

This same economic and political health framework
can be applied to restoring social justice,
civic cooperativity,
civil rights,
racial multicultural inclusiveness,
environmental Climate Justice

Negatively defined by
all that is equally not-not polycultural injustice;
a universal type of ego/eco double-binary restoration
of internal/external fairness

Morally
and legally
and economically
and politically
and socially health preferable
to win/lose retributive “justice”

Which can never produce win/win global green peace
today,
tonight,
tomorrow,
cold unrestful tomorrow night.

While this still feels too much like tomorrow’s promise,
at best 2021 integrity of right mindbody prominent hindsight,
I still had not finished my thin slice
of dryly donated white vanilla cake,
so I stayed through final summary.

By “integral”
we mean cooperative integrity,
synergy,
positively interdependent me/we relationship
and universally inclusive throughout spacetime

Designs composed of equivalently appreciated nutritional systems,
systemically democratic energy,
power, incoming and outgoing,
nutrients of mutually respirated respect,
communications multiculturally
and polyculturally
inclusive,
engaging,
inviting,
co-passionate,

Worthy of warm resonant lunchtime discussion
and afternoon implementation
and resilient/resonant dreams
of flying together
more than falling apart.

To this day
when I hear “climate”
I also hear polycultural atmosphere
economically and politically healthier
than monocultural attitude.

I’m sometimes still hungry
and feel homeless,
but now this is a cooperative hunger
and shared cold dry absence
of multigrain communion.

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Winged Economy

When I wash dishes
I look out at my bird feeder,
noticing which political species are best at cooperating,
easy democratic process,
remaining focused on collective nutritional energy gains,
“we’re all in this together” feathers of kin kind
And, which are more elitist,
not so good with sharing a modestly seeded pot;
blue jays predatively pecking,
crows taking over with raucous self-appointed authority,
ganging up against non-supremacists
seeking win/win democratic health.
But, this morning’s meditation
looks over at a nearby large bush,
now January cold barren brown
camouflage, more than shelter,
for local birds of all species
waiting their feeding turn,
frightened by my neighbor’s cat
or a hawk flying ominously overhead
or human noises leaking through my windows.
This small bird sanctuary,
Or is it an asylum?…
Perhaps both, depending on the bird,
harbors those waiting,
patiently, impatiently,
How would I know?
for their turn at their nutrition tower,
their seed Commons,
their energy media feeding station,
local source for economic and political exchange,
gossip,
social busyness.
Each bird flies back and forth,
some dressed in drab everyday,
others more business-ready flashy,
but all conjoining waves of flowing energy
in-between asylum bush
and open season feeding sanctuary.
Sometimes listeners and watchers,
and then short-flight toward feeders,
communicants
receiving sacred wafers,
seeds,
investments in cooperative multiculturing futures,
gifts of a generous green Earth.
Then,
suddenly,
they are gone.
The feeder Commons
abandoned.
My meditative hiding
and curiously waiting medicine bush
bereft of waving winged energy
breathing in and out,
feathered wings up and down.
Time to go back home
to more private nests
thoughts
feelings,
or, perhaps
to visit my neighbor’s cooperative feeder,
another caffeinated sanctuary
outside his own warm interior asylum.
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