Ageing,
like good sex,
good religion,
and/or good politics,
seems to be a focused process
Of becoming less judgmentally rejected
for the traumatized company I keep
And more happily appreciated
for surviving
the predative
and privileged potential companions
I have prudently rejected.
Another storm threatens to come in,
feeling my responsibility
for uncaring
and unresponsive history
Fearing you
more than loving us
Setting out your pails
and plastic tubs
to catch cold
and dreary drips
Impaled remembering
past wet enemies
becoming darker spots
as moisture threatens,
building mold untold
as yet
by angry lips
Dripping windowed frames
and ceiling fixtures
of your felt losses
not equally carried
by more comforted me
opaque with tender crosses
Buried
in how lonely
love can feel
hidden in Earth’s evolving top,
improbable to see
Our together threatening
leaky roof may drown,
which you would have fixed
some months ago,
if you could do so
on your own.
This storm pauses
and brighter rays suggest
a sun still shining
behind dark uncivil distress
Clouds could uncover
our disassociation,
poor and hovering
coveting a sun-drenched nation
Calculating our cost in cash,
but not in minds and bodies
to stop stormy smothers
of inside raining
draining issues,
deep core tissues
thundering crash
Warning we must get this done
before another wild wet storm
fearing you
more than loving us,
undone
Darker clouds build to leak again
while I explain why
you still can’t trust me
to invest in unstormed peace
A contenting roof
unconditionally done
So all EarthTribe
can safely put away our pails
and nails,
defensive weapons,
buckets,
overflowing pans
and spans of climate panic
Now rumbling receding thunder
of fearing you
more than loving us
Turns toward replacing damaged health,
repriming stains repainting wealth
of more warmly wild respect
while together musing
about who is bare surviving
and is not thriving
with what prestorming care,
Remembering who is dry
and fair
and prosperous
and why
we fear this tragic storm
more than loving weathered warm.
All relationships
steadfast monotheistic
become stagnant hate
And change becomes
rightly and left weighed
swayed animation
accelerated
and delayed
panentheistic.
Yet we are not entirely changed
from our first health wealthy estate,
transubstantiating positive
by our changed circumference
our becoming does dilate
and integrate,
regenerate
And, returning to our selves
at co-related length
and width
and depth again
each day through night
Do awake
to working play
our cooperative perfection
as if by compassion’s fate
Inward,
outward
undulate.
Note: Inspired by, and respoken with gratitude becoming, Spenser’s “Cantos of Mutabilitie”
We could widely perceive reasons
for healthy win/win spiritual relationships
and deeply feel seasons
developing wealthy cooperative natural sacraments
growing nutritional food
and natural fuel
and nurturing fertility
Becoming therapeutic fruit
of nonviolent communion
when ego traumatized nature
let’s co-passionately go
Of ancient AnthroSupremacist
monotheistic Capitalist
win/lose degenerative
zero-sum games
Condemning all sacred life networks
to ecocidal lose/lose death
Of Golden Ruling Gaia,
blue/green revolutionary
birthing deep round wombed empowerment
fertilized by richly robust
solar-seasoned
polyculturally polypathic
panentheistic health wealth experience
Deep inside peaking
and wide outside valleyed
ego/ecofeminist depolarizing
spiritual-reasoned/natural-seasoned
health-wealthy economic enlightenment,
ecologically nutritional
empowering
co-invested
So MeWe can widely perceive reasons
for healthy win/win relationships
and deeply feel seasons
of wealthy cooperative sacraments
growing polycultural food
and polypathic fuel
and polyvagal fertility
and polyphonic fantasy.
Blank page syndrome
feels like full page longing
to be done with some work project
that will not slowly grow worthy
of my time
and certainly no captivated reader.
I feel victimized,
tortured, actually,
by blank page syndrome
Where I want to feel some opening
and rewarding opportunity
and not dull risk
of further unnoticed failure
to richly
and wisely communicate
warm and wild communion.
My blank pages
demand content
spilled across blue horizontal lines
with a red left side vertical
demanding
Demarking where orderly thought correctly begins
to unfold top left
unfurling cause effectively
sequentially
toward right bottom
Yet Left dominance
overpowers Right feelings prominent
circling and recycling
whirling and spinning
spiraling out of win/win control
re-membering risks
of nontransparent failure
falling brawly short
of both peaceful Truth
and vulnerable Beauty.
Yet a bleakly black blank canvas
with no red
or blue bicameral communion rules
or tools
feels most frightening
intimidating of all
unbalanced
anthro-privileged
vaporous calls
My
“I can’t draw,
or sketch,
or paint,
or write,
or sing,
or dance,
or speak out woke”
Can’t preach
or teach inside voices
ignoring outside echoing choices
to evoke
childish dreams,
daydream schemes
to become Earth’s greatest love
of blank paged warm regard
for how we flew
and walked
and swam
and grew to Here embodied
meets Now compassioned mind
Greatest
deepest
widest
trusted EarthBeauty
dipolar co-arising
all scared yet sacred Time’s unfolding
Win/Win regenerative
peaks and valley sand
defining ecstatic
aesthetic lines
refining intimate circling graced spaces
etched throughout
neuro-systemic elegant
multigenerational potential
Not not synergetic journeys
deeply and widely
back and forth
out and inside
polyculturing communion
While staring at this straight lined
and otherwise white privileged
square-cut manufactured page
Holding my green health hope
and content contented circling pen
praying for worthy inspiration.
To follow our most transparent Light
To lead the most deeply vulnerable Soul
To accompany Beauty’s most trusted Bright
This compassionate communication quest,
like positive psychology’s best
and whole open systemic theories
about all our most synergetic rest
Resists negative
prejudicial
Retributive Judgment
of EgoSelves and EcoOthers
While positively promoting
TransParency
and VulnerAbility.
NonJudgment,
like NonViolence,
feels far weaker
than positive healing communication powers
of ComPassion.
Yet ReStorative CoPassions
do not seem to co-arise
to the enlightenment potential
of TransParency
or the empowering powers
of VulnerAbility.
This potentially positive Trinity
feels like an almost Holy
Whole
Holonic Triune Truth
Like Yellow sunlight’s TransParency,
Love’s Blue oceans of deep rooted
nurturing
VulnerAble panentheistic Soul,
Luscious Red flaring flames
of passionate EarthBeauty
Perhaps ComPassion
is less about humane contentment
and more about divine Beauty,
red-blooded EarthPatriotic Joy
enthusiasm
vitality
viral win/win contagion,
peak sensory-sexual experiences,
red skies of dawn’s climate vulnerable warming
warning
AND dusk’s multiculturally transparent delight
Invoking PolyCulturing CommunioNations
in a more tripartite egalitarian wisdom
full spectral communicating with,
and for, Beauty
Transparency
Vulnerability
And the greatest of these
is the Beauty of all three
redefining a Whole Open Communal Spectrum
Extravagant
exotic
erotic
intricate
intimate
infinite
sensuous
sensory
incendiary
incomprehensible
ecstatic
elegant
handsome
handfulls
of gorgeous nonviolet
win/win conversive
lose/lose reversive
vulnerably restorative
transparentylregenerative
EarthParadise Passion.
I rediscover organic errors
hidden in co-gravitating
love language.
Gravity is easily noticed
as Apple falling toward Earth;
less visibly conscienced,
experientially remembered,
as co-gravitational
co-relational intent
As Apple’s ego-gravity core
falls drawn toward sacred Earth’s
Mothering womb
smothering tomb
once more
returning toward deeply divine
anthrosupremely verbal
overpowering EarthTribe core gravitas soul
slowly soaring
back down and out
into globally nutritional
seasonally appropriate
co-invested ecological
co-operative 7-regeneration
co-investment
From which this same sacred
co-gravitating Apple
dialectically
binomially
bilaterally
double-binary
co-empathically
historically
polyculturally potentiated
Organic life loves
win/win love
is not lose/lose
not not hate
Against continuously emerging
win/lose further obvious irresolutions
Like why we know Yang 1 Positive
dipolar co-gravitates
with Yintegral 0 Negative
Yet does not oppositionally
defiantly ignore
positive polynomial language
statements
events
narratives
Co-gravitating equitably Yang 1 Positive
balanced with not not Yintegral 0-squared
P=NP appositional
but not oppositional,
at least and at best,
not yet
[N] enthymematic multicultural
Both/And’s “not yet”
Not cogravitating dissonance disorder
climate stress
community exceptionalism distress
childhood win/lose stressors
wounds
losses
chronic anxiety
Not not P
unveils integrity’s potential
both/and right hemisphere
secular/sacred EarthMother
indigenous nondualistic wisdom
of integrity’s co-passioning
universal potential passion
When P also embraces
Left Hemisphere’s Patriarchal Capital
co-gravitating memories
of mountainously enlightening SunGod
erupting Win/Win
polynomially holistic Communion
Creolization
TranSubstantiation
Deeply empowering Right Hemisphere’s
dualdark immortal EarthMother soul
womb
tomb
soil
gloom
EarthTribal co-gravitating
absorbing
emerging future healthcare
regeneration
revolution
Gravitates toward gravitas
wellness-seasoned wealth
integral P=(N)NP
Polypathic Yang 1+
redefines, refines
(N)P not-0 exponential
indigenously wise GoldenRule
co-relational win/win
is not win/lose,
Both/And dipolar co-gravitation
is more than Either 1 Or 0 bipolar
intelligence
Co-gravitating win/win co-operative
Humane-Infant/Sacred-EarthMother
Original CoGravitational Win/Win Attachment
is not Original Lose/Lose Detachment Sin
Against Ego/Earth double-gravitating
decontextualized absence
of resilient co-gravitas peak experiences
with bicameral Yang/Yintelligence
Rediscovering LeftBrain dominant
Either/Or reductive Win/Lose errors
hidden in co-gravitating
RightBrain Both/And
language of dipolar co-arising
passion mountains
and deep [Not] not valleys.
A multicultural proposal
for a bipartisan Intervention,
not to be confused
with drilling a nervous root canal.
What I am feeling
about myself.
What I believe I need
for my health
and safety.
What I want
from you.
Then
What you are feeling
about yourself.
What you believe you need
for your health
and wealth of thriving resilience.
What you want
from me
to support your journey.
What I am feeling
about you.
What I believe you need
for your health
and thriving sense of safe resilience.
What I want
for you.
Then
What you are feeling
about me.
What you believe I need
for my health
and safe resilient wealth.
What you want
for me.
What you are now feeling
about us.
What you believe we need
for our here and now health
and co-invested wealth.
What you now want
from and for
us.
Then
What I am now feeling
about MeWe communal Us.
What I now believe we need
for longterm resonant health
and resiliently balanced
mindbodied wealth.
What I now want
from and for
sacred
co-invested
Us
Doing win/win better
than addiction to avoiding
and then angrily drilling
yet another nervous root canal.
My matriarchal genetic line
of narrative
not quite sublime
resonantly erupts
regeneratively abrupt
Loves repeating
robustly carnal wisdom’s long
drawn out song
Continuously unabated
with unconditional
transgenerational regard
is something emerging more
than simply not not hated
Unlike our discontinuous patriarchal lines
drawn win/lose competitively
dominating lies
across sandy soils, now quaking
under shaking stubborn feet
awaking.
Where Mom will wake
each morn to greet
this life feels glad
to peacefully repeat
While Dad will scowl,
invoke defeat
his love was lost
in-dus-trials
of empty sad
repeat
Monotonously monotheistic
monopolizing maniacal statistics
monoculturally atheistic
monochromatically dominating
anthro-supremely
down with EarthRights
hedonistic.
It might become too ironically
and iconically embareassing
to admit
I am taking a (s)hit
while exploring
my latest
and perhaps final
nutritional surmise
compressing peak climax
surprise
A well-capitalized
Systematic Theology
of EcoLogical Systems
is not such
an inviting much
of a moving title
Yet herein
we might energetically
not also massively invite “should”
raise up Yang’s enlightening strengths
without also evacuating Yin’s paradoxical
outgoing flow
of nutritional exchange
from what was brown
and healthy egocentric ownership
going down
into integral potential
for ecosystemic stewardship
as dull
as giving a crap
might not resound
Yang
could become LeftHemisphere’s name
too often verbally expressed
overly impressed with ecologically
abstractly decontextualized
secularized lack of curiosity
about patriarchally
well-capitalized
anal Trumpistic retention
AND
Yintegrity’s dipolar co-gravitating
unconditional regard
for self-therapeutic indigenous wisdom
often nonverbally nonviolently felt
too often ecowomanist suppressed
Yang obstructive repressed
economically and politically oppressed
polytheistic sacred sacramental
excremental integrity
of health care giving
wealth share receiving
nutritionally nurturing
fertile regenerative
co-assets.
Yang dominant
conditional curiosity
about what is safe
and also healthy
to cooperatively
and transparently
black
v brown
v suspiciously blond disregard
too often seeks inside enlightenment
from outside above
While Yin’s anally repressed integrity
wants to soil
and soul empower
by releasing egocentric resources from within
not perpetuating anthrosupremacist
agonizing constipation
pushing down against
royal ceramic throne imbalance
In a frightening gut-wrenching worldview
wherein positive does not quite logically
or ecologically
or analogically
or psychologically
or gastro-intestinally
or polyvagally neuro-systemically
equal not negative
Like 1 outgoing nutritional pole
and 0 outflowing nurturing hole
feel like Yang
unconditionally positive regarding
not not paradoxical Yintegral potential
self-health care
reproducing Earth soil’s
repurposing wealth-share potential
nonzero soul.
Yang integrity
hears
and bears down
with deep-seated dualdark brown
systemic enlightenment
biologically whole
holy open for fertile
Yintegrity.
I painfully need now
and want here
to communally co-hear
coherent co-empowerment
through eco-theological
Yang secular bodies don’t stink
where sacred Yintegral minds don’t blink
Against o-empathic
co-invested
co-binary
polypathic
co-passionate
nonviolent co-governing
polycultural fecal communion
Favoring fertile EarthSoul
fulfilling co-gravitating
mindbody happy
healthy
wealthy
doin my daily duty
early morning ablutions
Sacred EarthDay practices
gastro-intestinal
mutually-invested
nurturing nutritional
ego/ecosystemic balance
Co-operative Win/Win
synergetic potential,
my embarrassingly unconditional regard
routine for full iconic
and wholesome ironic
ego-evacuation
Not quite so
Yangishly Trumpian
triumphalistic
narcissistic
anthrosupremacist
LeftHemisphere dominant
Straight White Male privileged
royal ceramic throne traumatic
chronic anal retention
Once finally again last
speaking out of my (gr)ass
about my own stressed-in
long-term stuck stuff
don’t stink
extensive pretension.
gdill52 