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Liberating Addiction

I need to talk about addictions,
about my addiction issues,
and maybe yours.

Addiction gets a deserved bad rap
but that doesn’t mean we have no more
than mean-spirited possibilities.

Our first addiction,
and, for the lucky ones,
the functional extended multigenerational
multicultural families
and liberating tribes,
also the last,
is love.

Love,
hidden or wide unwalled open
for another human,
another species,
another culture,
another part of Earth,
and other, costly
medicinal substitutes,

Drugs and alcohol,
guns and loud danger,
cars and sex,
coffee
and comfort
and convenience,
beauty
and enlightenment
and luxury,
notoriety
and money
and security,
all poor substitutes
for the nurturing feel
and natural touch,
nutritional smell and taste,
native sight and sounds
of love.

I have two issues
with addiction.
One is my obsessive-compulsive need
for my next, even better, fix
what’s broken.

I find it humbling
to be cravenly overpowered
by physical and mental,
natural and spiritual, want,

By my longing to climax
resiliently
resonantly
universally embraced by Earth’s most incarnate
and eternal
esteem,
communion,
co-passion.

But, physical addiction
can be softened,
eased,
healed more readily
and stadily
if not for my shame
and hide in the closet
self-judgment,

If not for my weak
and sinful shadow nature,
My need to hide
my darkest fruit truths
about not being in control
of my own autonomous will power.

And, so it is,
I hide my greatest weakness,
my greatest internalized enemy,
and thereby feed and water feelings
of guilt,
self-blame shame,

A failure to grow vulnerable love for others
I cannot see in naked love
and truth
and transparent beauty
because I fear to meet judging eyes
and minds,
voices
conserving dismissive choices.

Secret addictions
have all my darkest powers
of steadfast
and cyclical disempowerment.

Acknowledged addictions
I can call out courageously,
then curiously explore
with my housemates,
neighbors,
teachers and parents,
children and listeners,
supportive groups of similar addicts,
medicating absence of love’s
spiritual wealth
without natural walls.

Fears and angers spoken
and named
thereby weaken
as love swells
for positive addiction,

Which, as long as not risked
stays absent,
even from our healing selves
grasping mercy
for becoming merely mortal
and expecting my birthright
of a health wealthy society
good faith community
family
with multicultural addiction values
and unlovely disvalues

Summarized in GoldenRule behaviors
and positively addicted open
vulnerable
transparent
courageous
actively curious gratitude
attitudes of cooperative disclosure.

This power of my unhealthy addictions
lies more heavily in hiding my self
secret depressions
repressions
suppressions
dark impressions
that true and beautiful,
resonant and resilient love
is too far above
my emotional pay scale,
worthy of our co-redemption,

Too big a reach
to try to open up again,
to share my weak addictions
and strong compulsions
to feel and touch
taste and see
where love was lost
while pursuing lesser
hidden things.

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When Wellness Exists

What resiliently exists
has synergetically become together
more than win/lose competitive apart

Win/Win reframed
as future integrity’s healing potential
existence,
sustainable experience,
potency for positive resonance,
multicultural cross-creating
and re-creating narratives

Historical regenerative
cultural responsive
co-invested fore-gifted plots
to co-invest
in co-redeeming
cooperative ecopolitical systems.

What cannot exist,
viably persist
prefacing entropic
static
unchanging enthymematic
pre-emptive being
without past integral reweaving
systemic and ecological potential
to produce empowering gifts

To induce grace
to seed
breed regenerative health creation,

Wealth of multicultural creolization,
positive resonant inter-nations
complexly co-invested
nested cooperative fore-gifted sets
of interdependent resilience

Throughout WholeEarth Systems
re-creating
ego/eco-feminists
more rightbrain prominent
re-educators
recycling
reweaving co-redeeming narratives

Repurposing
re-ligioning
re-integrating secular and sacred
re-storied Meaning

CoMediating political bicameral ways
and economic bilateral means.

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Uncategorized

Banquet of Gratitude

Spirits of unnatural forgiveness
for past bullying behavior
and sacred redemption
from internalized shaming,
self-blaming

Begin in our shared multiculturing
co-empathic nature
uncomfortable with win/lose historic
and contemporary choices,
ecopolitical system analyzed
and deep egocenteredly felt

Longing for an interfaith return
to win/win healthy solidarity
as part of regenerative
indigenous TurkeyWisdom Earth
with all Her multiculturing
multigenerational
organic and energetic
matriarchal fore-giving
life systems

Democratizing
co-operating
co-empowering
co-enlightening

Skills with verbal and nonverbal,
left and right hemisphere,
non-violently laid down listening life
communication

Not playing shame
and self/other blame
win/lose judgmental competition games
embedded in negative emotions,
not positive win/win regenerate motions,
notions,
songs and impulsive dances,
positive analogies
and deeply complex metaphoric
healthy
wealthy
wiser experiences

When our gratitude remembers to ask
Is this my best
shamelessly ecological EarthPatriotic/Matriotic self?
Does this theologically reflect
our healthiest ecosystemic
ecotherapeutic wealth
of perennial win/win communion meals
ego/eco-balancing EarthWisdom?

I want to produce a Thanksgiving InterFaith Feast
that extends my feeling
and awareness of graced multiculturing family,
verbally and nonverbally communicating
gratitude for healthy compassion,

But, even more deeply,
we long to become a polyculturally deep feeding
and breeding spiritual paradise naturally pleasured
Thanksgiving Banquet
of win/win blue/green
secular/sacred communion,

Not so much triumphalistic
and communications empirical;
More deeply EarthEvangelic,
co-messianic
as purple mountain majesties.

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The Rival Sisters

They were loyal sisters.
The older
was also more fair,
prettier in an Original Barbie kind of way.

She had been sick
when her younger,
darker,
more tomboy sister
met and first desired
my tall, dark, and handsome Uncle.

When older and fairest of all Sisters
returned home,
after a long healthcare absence,
she too desired Uncle Handsome,
as did we all,
in our time and ways,
but Handsome’s eyes never wavered again
once reset on older and fairest Sister.

Young darker Sister, left behind,
began to heal
when tall, dark, and handsome #2
showed up
and spoke smokey truths
of happiness,
kindness,
quiet gentleness.
But not too gentle.
Slow and steady; confident
integrity could heal all guilt
and angers
and prior disappointments.

These two Sisters
and their TD and H husbands
lived near each other
and grew old together
with unspoken neighborly mistrusts,
unresolved struggles with and about envy,
jealousies and jilts,
but also laughter and deep mutual regard.

Who can control chemistry,
or timing?
Who can forgive,
and how long could this revolution take?

Yet even restrained love
can grow abundantly rich
with both age and generosity.

Younger and darker Sister
lost her husband to cancer
and then her memory,
while older fairest Sister and husband
moved into assisted housing
after reaching golden fifty years
together.

Then good-natured patient waiting
to embrace final retirement,
a journey we each take alone,
as when we entered
except without Mom nearby,
or maybe this too remains the same, somehow.

Older ancient Barbie Sister
did not let go
until younger jilted Sister
quietly stopped breathing in her deep night sleep,
lost in memories not accessible by day.

Ten nights later
Barbie Sister passed out of embodied memories
in this same way.
Safe at last,
knowing it was then too late
for TD and H Uncle
to go back before that place
where they had started.

They say death comes in threes.
I wonder why.

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Prodigal Sons and Daughters

Why do you always forgive
and invite me back home?

Why do I respond to my Prodigal Son
with prodigious love?

I guess.

Because we share an Older RightBrain Stem,
right down into our DNA-drenched bone marrow,
that always feels cooperatively drawn toward WinWin co-empathic trust
resolutions,
and always unconsciously dissonantly struggles
with competitive Win-Ego v Lose-OtherEco compromises
with how Earth and Ego would health and wellness thrive
if we all could remember
we have all been both Prodigal Sons and Daughters
and Prodigious Elder WinWin Ego/Eco Mentors
who could never become happy choosing between
ecosystemic LeftBrain deductive natural health
over ecopolitical RightBrain inductive nurturing wealth.

Like having your LeftBrain deductive self-regenerative cake
while RightBrain ecosystemically decomposing it too.

Said like a WinWin Prodigal co-investing Son/Daughter.

I guess.

Prodigiously.

I appreciate the return invite
but it is this habit of yours about always needing the last polysyllabic word
that continues to drive me nuts.

What can I say that will help you feel better
about this annoying habit of mine?

Preferably nothing.

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Hunting Love

On life’s easyrider days and nights
love plays a romping game.

On those more oppositionally challenging days,
and long anxious nights,
love is a hunt,
sometimes a passionate hunt,
special occasionally a compassionate hunt,
a mutual hunt
for truth about who is hunter
and who is hunted
and why
and when
and how do these coincident functions transcend “or”
to gracefully meet in “and.”

This primal function of love’s synergetic force
is “hunt.”
Both parties,
all living entities,
hunt,
even those feeling hunted
haunted
stalked
fearful and anxious
competitively and unilaterally,
often in silos of despair.

We all search frantically for safe havens,
hidden from those hunting for our very self-identity,
our life,
or at least so it feels during those dissonant times.

What is the redemptive optimization strategy
for those hunting safe havens from death,
pursued by tyrannical lovers,
ego-identified life hunters?

When is it not an appropriate moment
to love the hunter,
the hunted,
and the hunt?

Is there a significant difference
between the romping love of easyrider days and nights
and the more strategic
logistical
personal
intimately coincidental
hunt for love transcending Ego-incarnate death?

What happens to haunted hunted entities
primally assuming cooperative investment in this challenging romping race
and pace of EarthTribal systems,
but, when a passionate challenge exhausts this smooth-skinned body,
and/or brain,
the hunted redemptively conjoins with other hunters,
gratefully and mindfully invites a wrestling-with match,
avoids a wrestling-against death and fear match,
comprehending that compassioning our hunting love
always optimizes EarthTribe’s regenerational future?

In love,
sometimes,
at least once,
it is my time to love loss,
to forgive away,
to redeem this future spacetime
equivalently
Taoistically invested in me
birthing my original praxis of conception
as mutual reception.

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Our Family Values Party

Healthy families can be quick to anger

but, if so, they have also learned to be quick to forgive,

forgiveness redeems anger and fear to again risk mutual trust.

 

Partisan political leaders are not leading when they,

immersed in adversarial power positions,

are slow to forgive.

Well, OK, forgiveness, like mutual mentoring,

and redemptive behavior,

is not part of our political rhetoric, language, active culture.

 

While I am practicing what they preach

as civic and familial virtue,

they are not.

So, I think those who choose to grow

in divisively competitive stratifying marginalizing

monocultural partisanship

monochromatic

monopolistic praxis and intent,

when they could choose to lead in mutual forgiveness

and consideration for honest differences,

to engage in actively cooperative polyculturalism,

should follow the lead of Permaculture Design’s

ecological economics,

spreading Golden Rule organic compost on every issue,

species,

paradigm,

place,

population and subculture,

replacing mutual immunity with mutual gratitude

for Positively intended Deviance

and Orthopraxis of natural systemic norms,

virtues,

values of integrity,

synergy,

balance,

actively diastatic positive relations.

 

For two Parties to optimally and effectively communicate,

one must listen

while the other talks

then listens

while the other talks,

both sides actively searching for all the sides

to convene in their eco-centric location of

being together now

within mutual gratitude for becoming together;

the power and potential of mutually mentoring integrity,

and, oh yes, politically inclusive and effective leadership.

 

Let’s have a Family-Friendly Party,

equally adept with angry confrontation,

integrity,

flexibility and listening,

and nobody is allowed to go to bed

even one night

without knowing we all agree to forgive each other

for being human natured.

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Gravity Waves

Ciliate:

a group of positivists with hair-like organelles

called cilia,

structures analogous to flagella,

ciliating organelles absorb

while flagellating spermy whips

propel themselves toward conciliation,

like compassion

it takes at least two to tango.

Too often tangos lead to tangles

requiring reconciliation,

toward confluent absorption in mutual forgiveness

or disreconciliation

a disconnecting dissonant resolution

toward wiser ciliating revolutions.

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