Uncategorized

Loving Jose

Yes, Jose,
this is another love letter
from anthroprivileged me
to LeftBrain dominant you
for multicultural us.

I’m still here
sinking into my deep blue camp chair
with feet resting on a weathered
wooden platform
for my monastic tent

Now folded
and masterfully squeezed into its storage bag
like a fat green sausage
with a thick
black fly zipper,
secure,
awaiting it’s next orgasmic coming out
to camp and play.

And you,
warm and glistening
listening you,
are still driving
west toward this transition
Saturday’s bittersweet sunset.

Perhaps already lonely
thinking
of what
and feeling whom
lies ahead
while all else feels left behind

Another week of adventure lost;
another week of memories gained

Yet memories have grown cacophonous
while adventures in knowing
new frontiers
grow old as shrinking Earth
grown bodies

Fading hope to feel
taste
see
hear
smell
touch abundantly enough
for this full life
experiencing love
quenched time

Comparing future now to back there then,
wishing we could have us all
warm and pleasant
in our head,
heart,
bed of intimacy
without embarrassing
premature limits,
boundary issues,
health precautions.

You tried to apologize
for not asking more
about my wounded kids

And I did not think to apologize,
but wonder, now, that I didn’t,
for not asking how you are feeling
and dealing
post prostate cancer

Remissions
feel like uncertain transitions,
undemanding admissions
both healthy opportunities
and diseased risks
lie beyond this day’s journey
toward Albany.

Perhaps you,
like me,
fear
and already feel
loss of intimacy
imagined
yet not touched,
thought
but not appreciably,
healthy needed
but not safely found,
sacred bound
for joy’s immense integrity.

When I walked into our group’s enclosed porch
this past Sunday
for my first check-in circle,
your first facilitation,
I thought of my former boss.

You look and sound
like Bishop Tafoya,
when he was your age
and I was half your age.

I had trouble
shaking this sage off.

It helps
that you sing
with warmth and passion
in fulsome baritone,
as the good Bishop
decidedly did not.

Nor could I imagine him
dancing with a white scarved fan
with integrity
flirtatious machismo
joyfulness
deeply resounding playfulness.

Do you have a type?
I wonder
Are you familiar with mine?

Those romantic,
erupting into erotic,
miracles of preference
we cannot control
or calm our appetites
to accept
AND appreciate,
anticipate
those with us
here and there
in and out of Gayla 44,
after and before
now heading west
away from east.

So much to hide,
to learn,
to unveil,
to set aside
for graceful aging,
and to warmly embrace
for compassioned wisdom
felt together,
rather than silently,
less sacredly,
apart.

The Center’s lunch bell rang
and now has gone

Absorbed by quiet shushing
and rustling
high in evergreens
baking in Mama’s summertime
weekend of commerce
and less commercial passions,
traffic rituals,

Pre-empting ancient natural liturgies
of sea,
flowing water
and strong mountains
inspiring bonfires
bond-fire between rising
and falling phoenix
conjoining
co-investing
multi-generational passions;
daddies and sons,
masters and slaves,
tops and bottoms,
poles and holes,
straights and rounds,
dipolar co-arising

Riding forward home
to what continues repurposing why,
reworking hidden meaning
as yet unredeemed
in sensory Business As Usual

Backward east
returning promises
of safe and healthy
bright happy new dawns
transcending broken hearts,
troubled mind’s
loss of time’s
most cherished values

Love’s integral compassions
resting first
returning last

Already
I miss you
ready to miss us.

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Uncategorized

Cooperative Journeys

It interests me,
this journey into the garden
each spring
to notice how diverse vegies
and flowers,
edibles
and ornamentals,
pollinators
and soil enrichers,
work cooperatively together
when they can

My own planning part
notices potential competitions,
for light
water
deeper top soil,
but these pursue
optimizing cooperation
to jointly thrive,
not competition
to barely survive
trauma,
stress,
pain,
loss,
duress.

While sitting in the shade
looking over a host of community gardens
enlivened
and enriched
by cooperative community gardeners,

I recall business
and even public sector classrooms
worshiping at the win/lose altar
of capital investment

Sure,
without responsible question,
that at the end of our lifetime journey
we will be celebrated by our successful oppressions,
suppressions of the vanquishable
repressions of the feminist weak
within ourselves
our gardens
our families
and compassionate friends.

This has not been my experience,
that I am celebrated by,
and for,
those I have divested of
like obstacles to overpower,
mere consumer subjects
to satiate into silence,
to financially abuse,
to emotionally neglect.

Whether contemplating
another spring season
of cooperative community gardens
or harvesting reasons
at the end of a long midsummer dream

In which we are religiously celebrated
for our multicultural passions
and polycultural communion,
participating in EarthTribe’s
cooperatively redemptive journey
back toward green
pristine Eden.

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Uncategorized

Gaia Steps Out

Gaia steps out
to listen

She may roar in full voiced
crescendo

Then retreat, hiding
anticipating with global delight
diminuendo

Tomorrow
our first perfect win/win day
when no win/lose to lose/lose
has unpromisingly happened
to trigger my anxiety,
innuendo

Of win/win delight
empowering Sun’s sacred
yellow persevering light

Gaia will step out
virginally tomorrow
when magically
and/or tragically invited

To step on out
without even Her inner ego
climate listener
to awesomely admire
what She would have said
if She had only win/win felt
to think dipolar co-arising
Green/Blue cooperative compassion

Stepping into nonviolent dialogue
communications in/exforming
health with wealth
non-zero interdependently reconnecting
today’s worst day potential
with tomorrow’s best day opportunities

Stepping up and out
in defiant celebration
of Earth’s primal gift economy
empowering
and enlightening
democracy’s stealthy health
into and through
20/20 non-custody of systemic eyes
and listening ears
in regenerative win/win review

Stepping into
Green ego/eco-climate balance
double-binary both/and dipolarity
of patriarchalism
monotheism
racism
sexism
anthro-supremacism
more risky
when USA patriotically made
in His straight white male image.

Stepping through
LeftBrain Win to Lose
devolutionary theories
of surviving orthodox straight white
anthro-capitalistic Win sacred Spirits
by Losing secularized natural sensory feelings

Stepping beyond repressing
Indigenous left/right co-emergent wisdom
bicamerally walking
eco/ego-therapeutic reconnections

Gaia steps boldly out
for green cooperative interfaith
multiculturing re-ligions
of EarthTribe’s polyculturing wealth
for cooperatively nurturing species

Stepping through
this Great Green/Blue Transition
restoring EarthLoyal salvation
of NonZero Holy Animated SoulPowers
fed and interfaith fueled
by Sun’s radiant gusty
lusty warming ecological winds
and GrandMother Moon’s ultra-nonviolent
EarthPeace dreams
of light and power

Stepping into calming clouds
shading our green/blue yellowing sphere
with fading frost polarities
emerging brown drought dust spots
and slowly rising warming oceans
surfing up super-wet hurricanes
and windstorms

She steps on
in response to some safety question
about healing filling silence
when the only voices still available
are outside creature voices

Stepping into Gaian ancient narratives
of revolutionary light
sweeping aside dualdark bilateral feelings,
evolutionary progressive win/win process
for thriving ecopolitical wealth
of winds fertilizing warm waters

Gaia steps toward Heaven shining
on EarthEmpowering Justice,
ego/eco-systemic
bicameral Green/Blue/Red Peace

Stepping regeneratively win/win,
generatively win/lose,
degeneratively lose/lose

Gaia steps around
and over
and under today’s worst health pandemic
to invite tomorrow’s integral sacred promise
providing a safe healthy space
and future paradise time
when no bad thing
could possibly yet have already happened
except anxiety
about win/lose anxiety

Foreseeing an unforgiving
merciless Green Gaian Rage
against our super-redwinged
anthroprivileged selves

Yet, even so,
Gaia bicamerally steps out
to non-violently listen
witness
mediate
restore interdependent Ego’s
healthiest EcoJustice
stepping out.

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Uncategorized

To Gladly Walk

If I could walk gladly
and talk not sadly
across this Earth
around our home,
our shared place
of sacred journeyed birth
and emergent democratic space,
I would.

Yet, not only could we walk
and talk
in Earth’s dispassioned way,

Not only would you
and should we all–
but we do
already

This pilgrimage of growing attachment,
then adolescent competitions,
then co-acclimating
more mature
wiser self-interested consciousness
back through ancient cooperative journeys
into Earth’s divine root systems
redefining multiculturally healthy communion

Where life networks prepare for final death
No more or less
than daily deaths to egotistic stuckness,

In illusions of human privileged apartheid
prepares us for Earth’s further financial freeing
from right now responsibility,
loss of moral authority,
political fleeing
journey away from our global sacred space
integrity
in energy
through liturgy
for revolutionary complex spirals
of and for
Earth’s most healing SafeHome interests

Humane, yet also divine, ecosystemic unveiling
within just-in-Time
redevelopment of cooperative communication

For walking gladly
and sadly not win/win
madly listening
not not badly hustling
just-right resonantly rustling

Through deep autumnal leave
and wrestling wide spring tides
and all Earth’s awesome wonders
in-between Summer’s passionately respirating heat
and Winter’s synergetic deepest freeze.

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Escape Into Silence

Escape into silence
moving out in still morning
across pine needle cushioned trails
toward Earth’s solitary
murmuring river,

Whispering from where we have come
to quietly slip
drift
ripple forward
into an expanding mouth
without inhumane voice

Escape into silence,
comforting respite

Leaving behind human,
even humane
compassionate stories
voices
sounds;
but not memories
fantasies
feelings
choice

These inevitably accompany,
friendly and hard lessons
blending into muffled landscapes,
sea sounds,
silent breezes
teasing past sense

Sensory
sexually imprinted
colored
wordlessly intoned
rhythmed
patterns harmonic
and dissonant
silently desexualized

Needy quiet traces,
tracks
footsteps hungry for most anything,
everyone

But embracing
inviting
all absorbing silence.

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Uncategorized

Death Tied Life

What lies waiting
at the end of a self-made
independently empowered
self-invested
“pulled my own economic-political bootstraps”
life?

A unilateral
linear life,
like any passionate journey,
requires an end point
for returning in the opposite direction;

In this lifeline
ego/eco-systemic case,
from regenerative
to degenerating autonomous powers.

What happens
at the end of an emergent spiral,
rainbow,
expanding circle,
oval,
deepening square frame,
irregular and mysterious polygon,
other than a new beginning
into further rooted interdependence,
memory of where we have been
together before

Another re-cycling
re-purposing
dusk
become cumulative dawn.

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Uncategorized

An Anxiously Anticipated Event

Dear John,

All day
yesterday
I loaded up with a cascading river
of mixed anxiety and anticipation
about what to safely and kindly,
transparently and vulnerably
compassionately, so non-violently, share
communicate;

Which narrative tributaries to choose
within this vast spacetime stream
of choices
directions
felt depressions and erections.

Do you remember
communication theory
framed as Rhetorical Events?

Our initial walk and talk,
eating together,
rather than my refrigerator foraging
brunchtime usual rawfood practice,
is a graced green,
rain giving way to blue, memory for me,
and, I hope, for we
these sacred walking
secular talking
people.

Successful rhetorical events,
as I recall,
and have co-passionately experienced
with ecstatic thrills
and mysterious chills of anticipation,
wanting more and more
cascading throughout my too isolated life,

Are cooperatively held spaces
resonant and verbal and non-verbal places
longing to become resilient
as ultra-violet light
in phosphorescent mystical night,
bright
and warm
without ballistic fright,
inviting sounds of sight.

So I drove home
basking in such rich
potentially resilient
transparent and vulnerable
articulate yet impassioned
felt experience
confirming all my own ego’s grand theories
about win/win non-violent
Rhetorical compassioning
Events.

My anxieties spoke later
about mutual physical
natural, yet also spiritual,
attraction–
this smell and taste neurological chemistry
of touch exhaling
to co-empathically predict
our romantically felt quality
inhaling integrity’s great resilient passions,
shared loves
communal,
deeply green cooperative,
that rhetorical day
as true and beautiful for us.

It has been thirty years
since my last first date,
with a man who became my unanticipated husband,
partner
spouse
lover
quarreler
critic
listener
emotive voice
co-investor
political ally
communicator
miscommunicator
long-term rhetorical event
cooperative space-holder,
mediator
not really quite green enough
for resonant felt
and thought co-passionate experience
near our end
of cohabitation.

Nearly half my lifetime,
thirty years,
and I feel anxious
I have not yet learned
appropriate new old person rules
of transparency
and vulnerability
to be clear
and kind,
compassionately clear
about my natural/spiritual
physical/metaphysical attractions,
anticipations,
anxieties.

When I last dated
a gay encounter of the first kind
either ended nakedly together
or with a scheduled second date
with a bed
or a sling
or a deserted moonlit beach
front and center on our anticipated menu

Or ended in disaster,
no connection,
no further warm and resonant communication,
no passing green light Go!

I did not “date”
men who lived so very far away,
out of state,
unless one of us was planning to relocate
or both of us were anticipating
an extremely resonant
one hot night stand
lying down together,
exploring all the vertical
and horizontal dances
we could imagine ever wishing we had done
to further gather
future’s warm anticipations.

I am anxious
because I do not want to disappoint you
or me
about our embodied
non-verbal communication
and passion together.

My own nakedness
lies nowhere near my vulnerable
and transparent self-esteem
as was the case
when I last dated
and I do not know
what to do
and not do
with that.

I have no mentors,
no wise teachers,
no therapeutic facilitators,
no sex therapist
to talk and touch me through
this anxiety.

But, I do anticipate
an unfortunate comparison
I met on our silvered dating site
the same day I first heard you
connect climate pathological effects
with capitalistic causes,
which immediately won my curiosity
to know
just how deeply knowing
we might go
together,
and not apart.

I met another singer
another meditator
another deeply
physically connected
to Taoist sensory communication
yangly verbal and yin non-verbal,

More physically incarnated
and less metaphysically abstract
less theoretical
merely rhetorical
more mature
aged
connected like wine with cheese
and re-connected
than my own experience
in how to mutually
yet maturely
please.

Last evening we talked.
His voice sings and rings,
warmly chills and quietly thrills.

And, he is closer.
Teaches dance.
We anticipate learning together
how to tango horizontally
without creating an entangled mess
at our ripe old average age
of 69

Which,
when I last dated
was a cooperatively rhetorical
erotic position
and not an age
which we sensually anticipated
without great anxiety
about resilience
of sensual resonance.

For me,
this need not be a win or lose,
either-or situation.
Even less so
if I thought the two of you
would appreciate each other
in this partner searching
lifeline rivered
shivered way,
but that is not what I would anticipate
either of you would say.

So, that is what is on my mind
and heart
and root chakras
this another deep green
ego-centering
and ecosystemic rhetorical day.

Said my vertical horizontal way,
physical and metaphysical
natural and spiritual
secular and sacred
love with you
and hell to pay,
anxiously anticipating
your kind
non-maligned
response.

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Wounded Integrity

Inspired, in part, by the neurological insights of Iain McGilchrist and the polycultural outcomes of Permaculture Design for a healthier-wealthier Earth, and the polyphonic healing potential of restorative justice systems, and the peace potential for non-violent communication, internal and external.

To totally trust Earth invites
no one perfectly correct health path

Suggests we will find no wealth path
totally corrupt.

To commit to our best way
for healthy now
in this quasi-wealthy place
and this RealTime,
with resources accessible
may be irredeemably wrong
only in our potential
for egotistic excesses,
ego-mania
non eco-woman Earthy enough.

Polypathic balance,
polyphonic harmony,
polynomial integrity,
polymorphic bilateral intelligence;
these are the love
and faith
and hope
and wisdom
of revolutionary compassion
for ourselves
as part of EarthOther

Forgiven climate trespassers
as we forgive
our inhumane ecological debts

Empowering further ego-recentering
in curious pathway nonjudgment
by patiently enlightening,
choice enlivening–

Past Yang left-brain autonomous,
Future Yin right-hearted interdependent–

Ego/Eco-systemic experience,
bilateral balancing memory,
healing compassion’s doubled
yet untroubled image.

 

Summary note from deepest and most repressed chakra voice:  Some of us are penises, homo and hetero, some of us are vaginas, cooperative and competitive, but all of us are equal in being assholes, with potential for pollution and for fertilization.

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Shared Journey

We ourselves must walk the path.
Buddha

We ourselves must dance Earth’s revolving
evolving
revolutionary viral path
empowering and disempowering
healing violence
and hurting peace,

Compassion
wandering toward multilateral peace
restoring cooperatively just ways,
co-invested means

We ourselves must sing
global gospel harmonies,
anthems for political empowering directions,
against economic disempowering elections

Dancing away
from our ego/eco-singing selves,
ancient memory paths
before division
into secular v sacred,
natural v spiritual,
Left yang-strength v Right yin-flow,
Western resilience v Eastern resonance
on every NorthBound co-arising
co-gravitating trail.

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New Year’s Recycling Journey

Stepping into a new year,
especially one calling for 20/20 revision
reform
not retribution for anger’s past
but restoration of WinLeft/WinRight bicameral sanctuary,

Stepping into a new ZeroZone Asylum,
positive deviance from leftbrain competitions
deductive,
predicting reductive,
business as usual.

Positive left/right harmonic deviance
invites cooperative resistance
against a shared predative,
light-skinned,
patriarchal,
hopelessly heterosexual privileged enemy
of all the non-elite people
emerging from leftbrain dominant climates
of EarthTribe colonization,
extraction of life,
enslaving monopolization of body-power,
abuse,
disembodied neglect,

Shared asylum against negative lose/lose nihilism,
fake elitist monotheistic Rapture,

Against positive win/win passion,
compassionate communication,
ego/eco left/right yang/yin bicameral therapy.

Stepping into this NewYear ZeroZone
can be yet another
in an undistinguished
degenerative lose/lose series,

Lacking 20/20 sensory-neural
bilateral
binomial
polypathic/polyphonic
co-passioning
revolutionary revision,
restoring peace,
Earth Climate Justice,
inside as outside,
inspiration as exhalation
enlightening as empowering
not-not yin as positive intersectional yang
exponential 0 as multiculturing 1
incoming wealth herstory as outgoing polyculturing health

Ecofeminist 2020
predicting trimtab strategic
global health possibility
of a robust 2121
compassionate
cooperative wealth-climaxing
EarthSanctuary.

May this win/win celebration game
begin not win/lose degenerating all over again,
but, instead, grab hold of regenerative becoming
NewGreen MultiCultural Asylum.

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