Sometimes pandemic people share
pieces of our unspeakable personal story

That no health care worker,
sex therapist player,
or green resonant systems organizer
wants to hear,
much less smell,
or touch,
or deeply feel…

I flinch, sometimes.

Wince.

Maybe flirt with longer-term
dissociation,
to protect myself
from suicide
to protect ourselves
from ecocide.

Make sure I’m OK
for now
right left here

And agree with my hurting
therapeutic parenting
wounded child
revisiting this past
and present chronic stress
including emotional panic
premonitions
of darkly changing
monocultures
and corporate monopoly
money decapitated
by compassionate EarthTribe
commitment to green cooperative
integrity

And agree with my hurting adult child
to resist this emotional panic premonition,
inhaled trauma,
physical mental
natural spiritual
shamed and blamed
punished and neglected
disempowered and unenlightened
unless revisited
for further bilateral reflection

To wonder how this bad news
from good people places
is OK to tolerate,
absorb
engage with active curiosity
hope
good humored faith
soon as we can figure
what to do with all those unemployed
and too often unemployable
soldiers

Later,
no rush
about defusing the nuclear bombs,
unrushed by unpatriotic fear
that climate degeneration
isn’t also an awkward
forecast for nationalistic
America First
post-pandemic economic depression

For now,
return to deeply listen
for internal trauma,
loss,
suffering
as yet avoided

Nightmares of Lose/Lose
final
mortal
terror
so far avoided
on our U.S. watch
and witness when Other
karma turns toward Us.

But, again,
no worries,
no knotted panties,
no habitual sad-lined lines

Inconvenient
and unseemly
despite longer-term property
and embodied health concerns
about global economic dysfunction,
disturbingly addictive,
spiritually seductive,
physically superlative
self-entertaining medications

Avoiding deep dark meditations
with even more win/lose despair
that slow-grown suicide
feels interpersonally familiar
walking heavily through
yellowing
drying
burning
flooding
eroding
melting ecocide
remembering,

But,
who is this
remembering witness
who flinches?
And is s/he
the same Yintegral green voice
compassionately speaking
that We are co-empathically OK
for now
left right here

But reserve a StraightWhite Privileged choice
to revisit again
as soon as this wounded ecofeminist child
takes this chance
to speak HiStory’s Trauma

And re-imagine together
how we will,
next global warming climate post-pandemic,
re-support each Other
with compassion
and cooperative corporate co-investment

Knowing we will always do long-term battle
together Flinching
while co-arising
ego-centric hurting Voices
making less than Win/Win
health-wealth therapeutically optimizing
BiLaterally CoIntelligent Choices

Not really accessible
when on the darker side
of physical/spiritual addictive substance empathy
flowing somewhere between
temporary dopamined up serotonin escape,

Flirting with sacred suicide ideas
and afflicted by nihilistic despair
of globally disempowering
and locally unenlightened
ecocide.

But, again,
who is this governing witness voice?
this supremely indigenous
EarthTribal choice?

Who sings a full resonant hope
for future healthcare
choosing blue/green resilient
revolving EarthDay
for, and from,
a full whole systemic
nonzero-sum
ecofeminist Win/Win choice

For more YangStrong
Yintegral Flow balance,
polyphonic harmonies of light,
synergetic equities for cooperative power.

Sometimes people share
winter hibernating gardens
of dualdark
not-not despair
double-binding
ego/eco-cidal.