Perhaps infertile
incomplete
unwashed memories
of elder v younger,
Goliath v David,
crusades v communion
critical, yet part of chronic, events
speak extended family disengagement truth
to powerful dirty laundry engagement failures.

That disclaimer said,
I have two incomplete conversations
in mind and heart
and what I hope I will eventually learn
from mistakes in anemic compassion
too thin for nobler listening opportunities.

When I was sixteen,
I courageously confronted my dad
about his white supremacist beliefs,
which would not endorse slavery
but were oppressively too comfortable
with White nationalism
and patriarchal white-washed privileged capitalism
Win/Lose meritocracy theology,
teleology,
evolutionary ethology,

God’s chosen evidence of Black and Brown unfortunate
lack of pure enough LeftBrain intelligence
to successfully care for their own intellectual
and physical
property/properties God given
but in a more niggardly way.

After all, if they were as full of divine grace as we are
then they never would have become forced migrant fieldhands
and robotic domestic servants
before we had robotic domestic servants,
properly satisfied with a basic shack,
self-grown food,
cotton-picking and sugar-caning uniforms,

Rented and unrented servants capable of learning
yet not relentlessly driven by passion
for deeper democratic health interdependent webs of life
empowered each day by dense political understanding,
robust economic awareness of who has power to sell
and who has insufficient power to redeem
what could never be naturally-spiritually commodified
without severely wounded ego-disintegrity,
social madness,
political fury.

When I asked my dad,
Why are you so sure people of color,
especially women,
are so intellectually and emotionally and and mentally inferior to you,
the WhiteMan
living in an all white rural community
and all white nationalist church
fully invested in a white
plutocratic
military-industriously colonizing
authoritarian mess?
And an all white school system
and all white county government
all your life?

He could not point to any experience
of his own white superiority
But he could pull out a Reader’s Digest article
regarding research on standardized LeftBrain tests
with unstated lexicon
and linguistic norms
of dialectally empowered WhiteEnglish DominantSpeak.

My WiseElder dad told me to read it
and get back to his more seniority self
if I had any further naive questions.

That was the end of that conversation.
Question asked
and self-declared orthodox textual reference answered.

A year ago
I asked my White nationalist evangelical older brother
if he would vote for D Trumpian again,
and, if so, why?
Given his Christian God of love
and his GoodNews evangelistic vocation
to bring universal peace
and uniting divine justice to all people
everywhere,
now and in rapturous kingdom at near ill-defined hand
of future Heaven
for all eternity,
red and yellow,
black and white,
they are precious
in His sight.

My brother responded,
While troubled by Trumpian narcissism,
and maybe over-wrought cynicism,
Trump’s anti-immigrant
anti-Islam sectarianism
are a good faith fit
for God scripturally written to be pissed off
about pagan idolatrous hedonists
and uppity women
and lying stealing greedy children
and people too stupid to get it
that God has been strategically designed
in a RightWing dominant WhiteMan’s ancient
fascist
apartheid image
of spiritualized
denatured seclusion.

Well, OK,
he explicitly said just the first part,
about keeping out the threatening anti-Christian,
pro-liberal ecofeminist choice,
anti-family values foreigners,
All for building an impermeable moat
around a White privileged patriarchal “Christian” nation
on an awesome well-lit hill,
originally intended to be democratically enfranchised
only for White male property-owners,
possibly including Black and Native American slave property,

But only White property-owners have historically correct autonomous rights
to carry automatic military rifles
and drive gas and oil-hog Hummers to an all-White church
in substantially Black and Brown Flint, Michigan.

When I asked him why keeping Muslims,
and perhaps other Black
and suspiciously Spanish-speaking Brown people out,
was more important to his Christian beliefs
than keeping democratic family health care in
and USA climate therapeutic care
at the top of our global investment budget,
even higher than our ballistic automated threat budget
designed to blow up people
and plants
and planet,
He said he had no interest in that conversation.

The only important conversation for us,
from his fundamental dogma-centered power position,
was how much of the King James Holy Bible
I have properly memorized and adopted,
not adapted,
and invited into my personal everyday relationship with Jesus.

The political Jesus,
unmarried Messiah
and Teacher of following GoodNews Truth
into universal interdependent compassion,
most accessible to a child, wounded and poor in spirit,
when Win/Win Truth invites GoldenRule conflict
between elders and siblings
about signs of extended family integrity
and wonders of divinely humane non-walled communion,
non-apartheid community,
non-violent communication…

Again, I digress
from explicit historical conversations
about experiential evidence for White nationalist privilege
on into internal implications for WinWin empowering communion
where I can sometimes Left with Right childlike balance,
still finding and grasping onto
universally inviting unitarian
co-operative laundry cleaning compassion.