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Blue Brush Witness

As she lays down her blue brush
in a blue-trimmed cream
dream stone basin
of darkening water

She realizes
inside voice has been thinking
about double negative paradox
as -x/-y
can’t win pathology

Of way too much Patriarchal Capitalist
dogmatic Business As Boorishly Usual,
monochromatic
monopolistic
monocultural
monotheistic

Describing
and prescribing her
BusyMess
is cruel
cold
calculating dismissal
disregard
don’t matter

Let her splatter!
while he eats
his white survival cake

Mindlessly unwoke
to future predative
desecration issues
promoting and marketing
trauma-inflation corporations
inviting frequent-flyer
evangelically missioned Narcissists

Who probably don’t think much
of a universal peak salvation experience
yet do feel deeply united,
maybe even energetically synergetic,
about their own sacred memories
of EarthMother’s original Win/Win
multi-colored co-invested
warm wet unconditionally cooperative
co-relationships

Through time’s changing
hue and culture and cry
LeftBrain verbally emerging
too dominant

Thereby, curiosity remains difficult to contain
to deeply listen for feelings to explain
this sound and sight for blue brushes
tinting her slowly turning water
growing
blueing
flowing sadly
back through Patriarchal
Capitalist
anthroprivileged time

Emerging blue
and grey
darkening ecocide.

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Uncategorized

Repair Justice to Restore Peace

Before restoring perfection,
perpetual pleasures
of prosperous peace

I remain responsible,
compulsively responsive,
habitually receptive
to repairing win/lose
past competitive aggressions,
negatively suppressive
non-communications

My resilient repentance
must include self-forgiveness
for over-stressed addictions
to trauma repressors,
for failing to do my best
on a bad day

I usually fail to trust win/win strategic play
and work my best truth
healthiest way,
wealthiest co-managed gift
of sensory sensate
not always so elderly sedate
indigenous life

Among compassionate EarthTribe
redeemed through co-empathic curiosity
impressed by organic co-invested communication.

I struggle toward win/win intentional
restorative justice
adeptly mediating win/lose
bipartisan conflicts
exploring nonviolent communionations

At peace
remaining cooperatively responsible
responsively receptive

Quietly
anonymously
relentlessly repairing wounds
of AnthroSupremacist elitist cold regard
felt both outside blaming
and inside shaming

For cashing out of warm wet pleasures
of unconditional regard
too cheaply
too quickly
too sadly

Even for LeftBrain verbal narcissists,
smugly patriarchal
dishonorable corporate pirates

Champions of retributive poverty-punishing
justice of mercenary prison/court/police/military
monocultures
preying on our young
homeless,
stressed,
terrorized
and traumatized

Left rightwing outside
StraightWhiteCorporate patriarchal visions
of never needing to repair
vicious win/lose circles
growing capital monopolies
rooted in monotheistic true health values
for win/lose survival
of the RightWing anthropocentric
inhumane bigoted fittest

Devolutionary pathology
inviting further monoculturing climates
tipping toward
ecocidal trauma ideation,
warm and humid stress
fire and wind wilding
while wicked partisan polarization issues
distract my highest and best
therapeutic intentions

Before restoring perfect
perpetual communication pleasures

And prospering bicameral
dipolar co-invested balance

Cooperatively invested
in co-empathic curious gifts
for a more resonant
resilient
EarthTribe sacred peace.

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Sabbath Hope

I hope to visit next Sunday
on a warm
sunny
early PeaceGiving afternoon

Outside with my wounded Daughter’s
extending therapeutic family
with win/win playful
and richly resonant intent

Inside her new
young
empowering
and cooperatively enlightened

Thankful
mind-full music
and muse dancing
mythically
mysteriously
majestically joyful home.

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Uncategorized

Touch the Earth, Reach the Sky

Touching Earth,
reaching sky.

I walk salt shores
where all Souls fly
over joy’s ocean,
under sad bad lands
my faith in quests
we could understand.

Touch this Earth
to feel our sky.

Wise fools ask
our reasons why,
In glad lives
our answers glow,
in sad love
we learn to grow

To heal our Earth
and teach this sky

We are born
while I shall die,
Life’s my time for in between,
to build you a star,
to chase our dream

Touching Earth
while feeling sky

Hugging laughter
feeds my cry,
May I see
what we can give
for future’s child
to sacred live

We touch this Earth
to reach light’s sky

Soaring courage,
healthy high,
All Souls joining
in Earth’s flight
to touch Her right
I reach through night
for love’s last
last
last splendid sight.

This variation on Grace Lewis-McLaren’s hymn  (#301, Singing the Living Tradition) is dedicated to All Souls-PlanetEarth, especially New London, on the occasion of our Great Return, September, 2021.

Gerald 0’Liver 

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Fear of Failure

I know you don’t want to hurt
or even disappoint
me

And I know you don’t want to hurt
yourself.

Yet still your shame
and self-blame hurt

Your self-judging
punishing closet frame
suffocates our transparent life
my caring curiosity craves,
and mutual vulnerability
our sharing courage braves.

Addiction to feeling happy
is not free
and connected to sensory satisfaction
nor to ego significant gratification
and certainly not natural and spiritual bilateral wealth
of healthy feeling substantiation,

Which, as you know,
I also recognize as body and mind healthy
choice voices.

Before you even small voice object,
I also recognize you may feel natural
or spiritual choice
has nothing to do with driving off
without “goodbye,
see you safely soon.”

If no physically tolerable choice
of resources to feed serotonin
and water dopamine,
I know, from years of isolated,
neglected experience,
how frightening loss of lonely ego-powered control
can feel.

Speaking not of choice,
but inside swatting interminable Voice
never still
until you self-shame
and blame
hiding hurts
and unfree frames
us both,
unhappy you,
not Here,

And me
loving enough for Us,
not yet Now

Still worrying
what will voiceless nonchoice happen
disempowered There
and unenlightened Then
suddenly Amen

Our silently uninvited End.

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Uncategorized

If I Could Take Time Back

If I could take it back
I would.
When I can bring you back
I will
make our bad word weapons disappear
so your heart and hope need not despair.

If I could repair your strong-heart soul
rich with vital confidence,
you can do this,
you can be this,
you are part of this,
in your way
which is a right way
for us to become with you,
you are doing this,
we are doing this together.

If I can take it back
I do
absorb our black ballistic tones
in minor tragic keys I aimed your way
out of my own fears
I can not love you fierce enough
to remember you must know
this extended Earth-stream has your back,
is your back,
together with you,
part of you,
always voting Yes for mutual wins,
where love embraces our shared hope
and not despair.

If you could catch this hope from me,
instead,
please do.

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Struggling Love

I know
you know
you stole our property,
our mutual possession,
our sense of co-ownership,
of belonging together
to grow our health forever.

I know
you took it for your sole ungrateful possession,
to use for your co-dependent purposes,
not a subject for open communication,
further evolution of whom we were becoming
together.

You know
I know
you stole our mutually co-arising trust
in cooperative objectives and views and color-filled perceptions,
you removed our room for cooperative gratitude,
replaced with anger and fear of future isolation,
divorce.

We both know
with deeply resonant intuitive integrity,
this critical event in our relationship cannot redeem,
re-direct,
re-connect,
our co-arising healthy trajectory
without mutually acknowledging
our sense of excommunicating loss and suffering
to have stolen
and to have been thereby co-laterally severed
from co-expansive gratitude,
replaced by co-condensing anger burning entropy,
absence of healthy wealth
through love’s reiterating Commons of communication.

We both know
If I am generous toward you,
if I “gift it forward” in your direction,
and you feel gratitude in response,
and express that gratitude through your deeds
and words
then you redeem and co-arise further generosity of love;
While not feeling and/or not expressing gratitude
in non-response
absorbs and dampens and depresses love
into our co-dependent toxicity of habit
where new creative loving life once grew.

We both are sane
as love will grow in our time
and organically chosen,
integratively intended, places,
relationships,
transactions.

We both are crazed
as other competing loves
still hunt and gather to fill in our gaps
and fracturing losses.

We all trust
our cosmological economy of synergy
evolves cooperatively reiterating gratitude,
human naturally reflected in love’s economy
co-arising generosity.

We mistrust
unilateral love, like lust,
so discontenting,
raises encrusted mountains of anger
deep flowing lava rivers of fear.

We respond
with trust and respect and care,
with practice and intent of generosity
until we no longer understand response as gratitude,
until chronic patterns feel empty of generosity returned,
redeemed,
replaced with judgment or apathy
too often swelling into anger and fear,
hunting and gathering and stealing
standing in for trust and respect and care.

I react
unwilling to continue this generous intent
because you steal my trust in our future
as co-arising health.

Struggling but still vigorously healthy love
evolves and sustains co-arising generosity
and mutually reiterative gratitude,
which would be no exception to our daily norm,
our default expectation of nature’s rich abundance,
if not for our mutual lack of gratitude,
iconically captured in Win-Lose economics
and anti-evolutionary cultural assumptions.

Love evolves
mutual economic generosity
as synergy revolves co-arising ecological paradigms,
systems and species,
cooperativity creation,
or love falls unrequited,
unredeemed,
stolen and absorbed into competitive mutual immunity,
heading toward entropically co-condensing selves,
cells of apathy and anger,
cancerous hurt and swollen suffering.

Love is risk
which often pays generous returns,
opportunities to invest further in healthy directions,
in relationships of evolving wealth.

We are free
to choose to stop loving
in response to suffering and ignorance and apathy,
anger and fear and hatred,
aimed at us by those we have invited into our trust;
free to stop responding to loss as mutual theft
with further generosity defusing integrity,
honesty,
because we feel too exhausted to survive
feeding toxic co-dependency
where we would nurture healthy co-redemption
of mutual investment in trust, caring,
this grace of cooperatively co-arising generosity.

I do not know
your quantities and qualities of need
for nurturing your healthy life.
If I have not offered generously
in response to your needs and wants and hopes,
don’t steal from me what was ours to mutually benefit
and then grow angry and fearful of how I may respond;
extend your generosity with me
just enough to help me understand
what you want
that I might have to give with gratitude.

Love is like a mountain,
majestic and beautiful to contemplate,
difficult to climb to the apex,
and harder still to survive there
to accomplish long-term healthy outcomes,
especially through cold winter nights.

Love presents life’s high stakes,
high risks for some nightmares,
high opportunities for some Great Day dreams.

 

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Sacred Pause

What have our children become

that we stand by to not watch them burn

then bury still screaming

shredding skin?

 

What have we become

that commerce doesn’t even pause

no unholy terror of awed silence

horrific wonder.

Voices continue shrilling

keyboards continue pounding

parents continue screaming

corporate minds still beat

industrious rhythms

streaming enculturing strings

of power without

sufficient wisdom to simply stop….

 

 

Silent full breaths of sorrow,

crucifying innocent redeemers

into deaths of ignorant anguish

self-hatred

raging fate

too dissonant to hear

too desperate to bear.

 

 

 

 

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