Tag Archives: nonviolent communication

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Bad Humors Destroy Feelers

Good Humors Create Healers

Electing and selecting humorless weaponed officials
to legislate and administer laws
empowering challenged and challenging
unarmed natures,
is like expecting a rabid rattlesnake
to advocate with and for patience,
understanding through calming and merciful listening,
to apply active love’s curiously empathic trust,
which no just law, or logical practice thereof, could prohibit.

The truth of complex situations,
so necessary to uncover for wise application of our ethical codes
for economic and political behaviors,
is best accessed by vulner-ability
to co-empathic trust,
active listening,
Basic Win/Win Anticipation,
as is intelligent paradoxical humor.

Loss of humor’s appositional equanimity
is an ominous spiritual v natural sign
Yet another rabidly riled-up,
not yet cooled-down, rattlesnake
with too much “healthiest defense
is a massively wealthy offense”
post-traumatic neurosystemic intelligence.

If you are feeling like delivering toxic venom,
rather than inviting kindness in return,
then probably best and brightest
to stay home
and curl up on a warm rock.

Hard-hearted victimization intent
to neglect and abuse,
marginalize and criminalize, others
is not softened or redeemed
by anything less or more than orthopraxis of loving kindness
with a good-humored smile, as possible,
without someone thinking you are up to something devious.

Pronoia’s comedy is most effective therapeutic drama
when transparently co-responding
to the co-empathic paradox
of paranoia’s tragically triggered trauma.

Those who expect citizens to behave civilly,
best mentor what they would optimally hope to see
on our FlashMob singing streets
and not MassMurder flinging roads
and life’s Competing Business As Usual highways
and bad rumored conspiracy byways.

Front-line customer service to those suspected,
or even known,
to struggle with bad-sad-mad humored tendencies,
cannot be optimally effective
by treating them to further misdemeanors of humorless
unglad
cold-blooded
unsym-pathetic
systemic winner v loser
0-sum paranoid rabidity.

Are you in our shared health-humored busyness?
or in our too much anger/fear pathological business,
or, paradoxically, both?

If both,
which direction seems to bring you,
and the rest of us,
economically wealthier ecological,
and healthier political,
resilient relationship outcomes?

I would love to anticipate more good humored officials
(and clergy)
for multiculturally transformative public health
and become less anxious
about officious nests
of reformative rattlesnakes
threatening venomous rabidity
of bad-sad-mad humored pathology.

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SunDay Before Selection

I asked my drab dressed Sabbath Teacher,
Who do you think Jesus would vote for?

As was her way
even today
she had her querulous say,
What would Jesus do?

He would ask,
and so should all of you,

Is this a loving
kind thing
to do
or not do?

Is this a loving
caring relationship
to continue,
to widen
and deepen,
to feed health,
to breed safe natural beauty wealth?

I was nearly asleep
by the time she sing-songed her predictable
faith-based dance
through the litany
of Jesus begat HealthyLove
when she delivered that last
politically curious line.

What would Jesus do
or not do
to feed and breed safe
natural
beautiful
and truly resilient wealth?

How would Jesus vote
or not vote
to feed and breed
neurosystemically resonant
resiliently sacred
peace communion wealth?
Might be how my SocialPsychology Preacher
would LeftBrain think to ask

How will each bipartisan win/win candidate
vote
or not vote,
act
or not act,
speak
or stay silent,
to feed and breed
neurosystemically healthy,
cooperative neuro-diverse wealthy,
compassionate verbal
and nonverbal CommunioNation?

Is this a loving
caring
kind vote
for healthy neurosystemic relationships
to win/win grow,
to continue to feed sacred enlightenment
and breed consensexual
passion/pleasure
Left/Right
bicamerally intelligent empowerment?

Which is maybe
what my dour Sabbath Teacher
was hoping to feed and breed
on that last class
before transparently vulnerable selection
to widen EarthTribe’s
safe
natural
beauty enlightened CommonWealth,
and deepen
neurosystemically spiritual
empowering
panentheistic health

Well sung
and wellness danced,
liberally enlightened
and conservatively empowered,
left and win/win right
into my Jesus-informed
trauma-free voting booth.

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Ferry Beach Fairy TransFormation

What did I take away
from summer camp?

Not COVID
this year,
nor the clap.

But, instead
a more resilient health
of authentic sacred wealth

TransFormative dance
singing integrity’s great
synergetic
bromance.

Polyphonic men
mind and body embracing
polypathic gods
re-imaging goddesses
engaging all us in-between
communal transubstantiations.

My own spirited mind
and strong natured body transmutation
has not been solely limited by Others’
lack of win/win imagination

But also,
perhaps primarily
and primally,
by my own win straight mind
lose queer body trauma story,
His-poled v Her-holed history

Mind blaming
and body shaming
Left hemisphere’s lack
of co-passioned pleasuring
Right-now transcendent
peak co-experienced mystery

More resiliently inquiring–
What transformative longing
does bromance take away
from summer’s sacred belonging
mind and body camp?

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Brilliant Resilience

Singing with outside voice
while dancing inside healing choice

Represents ancient sacred reconnections
provoking verbal thoughts
invoking nonverbal feelings

Amusing muse professions
re-presenting nonviolent communications
contentiously contenting.

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Polite Mess

Politeness,
like kindness,
may not sell newspapers
or win the partisan debate

Civility,
unlike deviliciousness,
will not win the civil war
nor leverage the biggest tax rebate

But integrity
is the world wide web of nature
that composed the paper
and incubates
the peace we celebrate
when impolite love to hate
of systemic trauma gates
recede well past faded
therapeutic empathy,
becoming civilly sedate

Singing while dancing
in politely well-said company
not seen
or heard from
of late.

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Compassion’s Braver Angels

Impressive values,
like love,
claim resources that liberally breed
ecological
natural
physically happy health
and conservatively feed
emotional
spiritual
mentally glad wealth.

Oppressive disvalues
like homophobia and racism
and sexism and ageism
and ableism
and monoculturing disregard
for threats of global anthro-supremacist ecocide,
express what we are against
because these are sources of sadness,
bad health suppressions,
sad impoverishing depressions,
even mad disrepairing
retributive repressions,
investments in revenge,
apartheid demands for militarized retribution,
negative win/lose 0-sum
closed system reparations
repeating historical-monocultural
entrenched distrusted dissociations

Continuing viciously recycling
straight white patriarchal injustices
rather than positive win/win restorations
of positive
herstorical virtue circles,
polyculturally spacious
inclusive webs of EarthMatriarchal Peace.

The proposed 8th prime principle
does not positively promote
therapeutic justice.

Decontextualized focus on what we are against
betrays giving full mindful 4th Principle witness to
our disvalue shadows
against economically exploitive monopolies,
colonizing monocultural trauma,
white patriarchal monotheistic supremacy,
straight cisbinary monotony,
monochromatic anthroprivileged risk
overwhelming Earth’s resilient therapeutic opportunity.

Our health and environmentally safe wellness values
for compassionately mediating our 7th positive principle
breed universal health
and feed unitarian wealth
of sacred EarthMother’s unconditionally warm working web
playing interdependently win/win games
promoting resonantly sentient love lives,
resources,
seeds,
nonviolent wombs
polyculturing sacred communion

Like 8th Principle sperm
universally purposed
to conjoin EarthTribe’s unitarian
green/blue 7th Principle egg.

Our 7th Principle declares our positive joy
for healthy natural life
and wealthy spiritual love
embedded in sacred EarthMother’s empowering web
valuing co-invested AnthroPeace Warriors
co-infested Muses
co-passionate Sages.

Do we need and want an 8th Principle
taking a bold
unprecedented
revolutionary further step
to explicitly articulate what we actively disvalue
as the ecological antithesis
of Earth’s sacred systemic 7th Principle
of a polyculturally inclusive EarthTribe
restoring our sacred green/blue indigenous communion?

I believe our positive principles
of therapeutic health,
happiness,
empowering a wealthy sacred win/win web of polycultural beauty,
enlightened Earth/Anthro balance,
grows non-violently profound neurosystemic peace,
culminating in peak experiences
of our most recent 7th Principle.

And I believe in the synergetic completion
of perfectly pitched 8 octaves
for articulating MuseTherapy Resilience.

When the first photograph
of Earth’s revolving
green-blue living egg-womb
was broadcast back to Earth,
anthro-privilege could physically see Her
sacred healthy wealth
of profound eco-political value,
in Her health-wealthy prime
7th unitarian value
of PolyCultural Communion.

Now, in this new post-millennial Anthropocene,
we already begin to feel threats
of EarthSystemic oppression,
neurosystemic chronic trauma,
EarthTribe depression,
anxiety,
onset of anthrosupremacist remorse,
rabidly defensive denial
of rapaciously incorporated overpopulation,
despair that Win Universal Earth
and Win Unitarian Anthro healthy 7th Principle Consciousness
of herstorically positive indigenous intent
for whole-systemic thrival
too quickly fades,
foreshadowing today’s 8th Principle dispassionate discernment.

If we would dismantle sacred Earth’s historical-monocultural
systemic trauma Oppressors
of organic regenerators
recreating love-life’s multigenerational
PolyCultural Communion,
Then we might choose to restore 7th Principle EarthJustice
by letting go of less resilient
traditional win/lose anthrosupremacist images
breeding neurosystemic dissociation
and feeding toxic disvalues
of patriarchal monotheistic colonization,
monoculturing cisbinary predation,
capital economic monopolization
of therapeutic EarthMother sacred healing values
choosing regeneratively felt win/win
universally open, transparent
and unitarian holistic, vulnerable
ecotherapeutic webbed, nonjudging
nonblaming
nonshaming systems
for restoring PolyCulturing Communion

Thereby dismantling 8th negative anti-trauma disvalues
confronting Anthropocene privileged systems
of history’s monotheistic imaged
patriarchal natural capitalistic maninfested destiny,
a win/lose devolutionary privileged assault
and dispassionate battery
overpowering EarthTribe’s restorative peace
ecotherapeutic resources.

Can Earth’s monotheistic major force
of retributive injustice nature
grieve
and repent
and commit to restore
7th Principle panentheistic wisdom peace
for this,
and the next 7 sacred millennia?

Bicamerally indigenous compassionate minds
want wealth conserving hearts
and need health liberating bodies
to wisely know
life-loving
neurosystemically intelligent
Win/Win 7th Principle
therapeutic opportunities
for EarthTribe sacred healing
AND Monoculturing AnthroSupremacist
Win/Lose 8th Principle
trauma warnings
against further EarthMother dissociative harm

Against impressive values,
reconnecting love,
reclaiming 7th Principle resources
that liberally breed
ecological
natural
physically happy health
and conservatively feed
emotional resonance
spiritual resilience,
mentally glad wealth.

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Orthodox v Orthopraxis

Yogi Berra said:
In theory there is no difference from practice.
In practice, there is

Applying this to communication theory:
In nonviolence theory
there is no difference from practice
of win/win compassion.
Yet, in Business as Win/Lose Usual
Patriarchal political monoculturing practice
and Capital monopolistic economic intent
there are no virtues calculated for compassionate communication,
for merciful creolizing political views,
and restorative forgiveness
for matricidal sins
of our StraightWhite Patriarchs

Ignorant about healthy polycultural,
resilient
therapeutic integral relationships
in response to systemic trauma.

Nonviolent communication orthodoxy
enlightens everything
but nothing positive win/win prevails.
Compassion’s transparent and vulnerable win/win practice
unveils every positive relationship
becoming co-empowered
but no one person knows why.

In our EarthRestorative lab,
nonviolent verbal theory
and compassionate nonverbal practice
are bicamerally combined:
nothing win/lose prevails
and every resilient relationship
compassionately feels why
0-sum theoretical assumptions
do not comply
with Earth’s Whole Open Systemic
virtuously therapeutic practice
of avoiding viciously competitive theories.

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Messiahs and Bodhisattvas

What do top and bottom
above and below
leader and follower
day and night
mountain and valley
up and down
above and below
high and low
pole and hole
convex and concave
vertex and vortex
frontsides and backsides
dominant and recessive
north and south
colonizing and creolizing
without and within
transcendent and indigenous
crown and root
sperm and egg
knowledge and wisdom
thought and feeling
mind and body
orthodoxy and orthopraxis
light and power
enlightenment and empowerment
exegesis and eisegesis
capital and corporal
SunFather and EarthMother
salvation and co-redemption
justice and peace
orchestration and co-mediation
accountability and co-responsibility
investment and infestment
co-arising and co-gravitating
have to do with
causing health-loving Egos
and effecting wealth-living EcoSystems?

Asked his
MonoTheistic Yangiversal
messianic thoughts
of her
PanenTheistic Yinatarian
bodhisattva feelings.

Not sure,
s/he replies,
Perhaps messiahs sing
while bodhisattvas dance?

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ReCentering Domestic NonViolence

This brisk, sunny March morning, I return from delivering my son to his adult daycare van.

Upon opening The Norwich Times, I delight to read the new Center for Safe Futures “will be taking a huge step forward in how well we can serve the growing number of our neighbors who need help with domestic violence…”

After reading the article, I am delighted about this significant half-step toward a more integrated and holistic service structure to improve safety and well-being outcomes for victims and survivors of violence, assault, stalking, physical and verbal hate-crime abuse, black-market sale pricing for using powerless and unheard and unseen and uncared for human bodies commodified to provide third party capital profits, and other disturbing forms of predative trauma.

Violently polarizing drama threatens trust in neighborhood-felt survival, and our civil, compassionate community thrival, every time we hear, and, god forbid, exhaustively watch depressing, national history-making news brought to us by our uncivil, wounded and wounding retributive criminal justice systems; uncaring, unhealthy, and certainly not holistic empowerment systems for nonviolent reconciliation.

My colleagues on the Norwich Youth, Family, and Recreation Advisory Board have become used to my eagerness to celebrate half-steps toward win/win strategic restorative peace while simultaneously sternly reconsidering our missing nonviolent communication step away from retributive win/lose justice systems. World wide webs pitching prey against predator, cultivating my despair about polarizing dissociative drama rooted in divisive demonizing trauma systems that do not empower resilient health and safely resonant domestic wealth.

Down near the bottom of the first front-page column I read, “Service providers and community partners will work together to break the [systemic trauma] cycle of violence and abuse.” Wow! Now this is an unexpected good news mission statement!

On second thought, it does echo messianic scriptured messages about the Christian Prince of Peace’s salvific mission, and that, so far, feels like an aging, poor in spirit, and increasingly despairing half-empty step toward downsizing EarthJustice expectations for global nonviolent peace and justice.

In my wild decaffeinated morning meditations, this eagerly anticipated aspiration, to break the win/lose bonds of systemic trauma, reminds me of a huge covenant change proposed for discussion at All Souls UU, in New London.

“We covenant to dismantle racism and all forms of systemic oppression.” I wonder how we would practice such powerful “Beloved Community” passion. How could our faith communities help break the vicious cycle of violence, abuse, and emotional neglect fueling neurosystemic trauma?

Perhaps Restorative Justice and Peace Reconciliation practices of nonviolent communication could empower transparent and vulnerable dialogue between defendants and predators, so often brought together and stuck together by addictive codependence–which feels safer, and economically healthier than aching loneliness, emptiness, hopelessness, despair of punishment, shame, blame, Othering judgments that we do not merit unconditional warm regard.

My own therapeutic feelings of hope, informed by Multicultural Community Mediation, focusses on safer and healthier and emotionally wealthier compassionate relationships. Empowering intention and win/win designed retention I cannot find in this article. It misses a redemptive half-step that could prophetically declare we will not tolerate the “vengeance is mine” heresy that perpetuates future victimization. Excommunication brought to us by judicial and police systems inciting weaponized trauma among those voted least likely to succeed by disassociated peers.

Is it reasonable to hope this Center for Safe Futures, and all the best intervention and prevention practices advertised by an expanding Family Justice Center model may be fully baptized in the peace-making waters of Restorative Justice?

Will domestically healthy and safe mission statements survive the ribbon cutting to become resiliently saved from past systemic trauma sins of our Straight White Patriarchal fathers?

I guess I’m still waiting, as my acidic coffee stomach turns cold with impatient curiosity, for some other brilliantly brighter good news front-page article announcing the multiculturally grand virtues of neurosystemic trauma-informed therapeutic projects to ReCenter Healthy Bodies and Safe Mind Wellness Futures.

Compassionate futures that restore virtuous communion circles of therapeutic repair–and not viciously retributive, accountability trauma hierarchies continuing to promise more efficiently enlightened from-above services, still half-stepping toward managing a universally disunitarian pandemic of dissociative despair.

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Weapons of Trauma Defense

When personal narcissism
and tribal autism
choose our words
as hurting
threatening
weapons of trauma defense

Rather than choosing wealth
of healing tools
for compassion’s therapeutic unfence

We soon find
that no one cares
to impatiently listen
outside our partisan walls

For whatever future win/win kindness
and EarthCare forgiveness
we cannot trust
will last.

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