Tag Archives: sad

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Santa’s Unseemly Red Parade

Santa arrived on our street yesterday
spewing considerable exhaust
while riding atop a parade of firetrucks and vans,
floodlit like a nativity display at night,
full sirens and blaring Christmas carols
competing for my Fetal Alcohol daughter’s rapt attention.

Santa rolls at stately parade pace,
while ever more impatiently
my troubled daughter jumps and eagerly awaits to pounce.

For me,
much too soon,
Santa spots her leaning out our screen door,
disembarks with great royal dignitary pace
to walk the long quest for prey
on our front porch.

As I feared,
after an unconvincing HoHoHo?
Without waiting for introductions,
Santa goes straight to his task at hand:
What do you want for Christmas, little girl?

I don’t know
Haven’t thought about it.
I’m sure it’s not a stinky and loud Santa parade.
Anyway, I’m still working on what I’m giving for Christmas.

That’s awesome.
I don’t hear a lot of that.

It’s not awesome!
It’s complicated!
My dad said I should only give gifts that by giving them
I will also receive gifts.

I’m not sure I have any gifts like that.
Last year you asked for an American Girl doll.

Yes, but this year I’m working on giving American Princess me,
instead of settling for your plastic dolls.

Won’t you need costuming and make-up
to become the All American princess?

You would think so,
but my dad says they don’t meet his gift-it-forward rule
to recycle and receive back.

So what do you think you’re going to get,
or give,
or both, I guess?
although Santa’s feeling red
about green co-redemptive gifts,
and I do still have far to go.

And you left your diesel-fueled truck idling.
I’m leaning toward kindness,
’cause princesses are always kind,
but my dad is asking for greater wisdom,
which is something he actually does need.
And I know you don’t have any to offer
or you wouldn’t begin and end Christmas
by asking people what they want,
instead of asking us what we have to give
that might make life feel a little less snarky
come New Year’s Day,
while your truck continues to stink up the neighborhood.

Santa returned to his royal red firetruck
somewhat faster than he had arrived
on my wise American princess daughter’s
green front porch.

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Every SacredEarth Relationship Changes

  1. Everything changes and ends,
    reports Richo mindfulness

To which Ohcir co-responds,
including positive co-arising
intention.

  1. Relationships do not always come and go
    according to unconditional warm
    co-invested appreciation,
    when we fail to bicamerally resonate
    together brilliantly resilient
    therapeutic co-empowerment.
  2. Secularized anthrosupremacist life
    is not always fair
    healthy
    safe,
    much less panentheistically cherished.
  3. Pain is part of evil loss
    and win/lose trauma,
    lose/lose drama
    is part of degenerative
    dogmatic death,
    as e-v-i-l survivalism
    reverses l-i-v-e mindful
    ReStore EarthJustice
    thrivalism.
  4. People,
    and other organic creatures,
    are not liberally loving
    and conservationally loyal
    and appropriately lusty
    all the time,
    unlike trauma-free dogs
    and healthy MotherTrees
    thriving in wealthy
    EarthTribal forests.

In dialogue with David Richo, Ph.D psychotherapist, “The Five Things We Cannot Change…and the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them” p. xi.

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Blue Brush Witness

As she lays down her blue brush
in a blue-trimmed cream
dream stone basin
of darkening water

She realizes
inside voice has been thinking
about double negative paradox
as -x/-y
can’t win pathology

Of way too much Patriarchal Capitalist
dogmatic Business As Boorishly Usual,
monochromatic
monopolistic
monocultural
monotheistic

Describing
and prescribing her
BusyMess
is cruel
cold
calculating dismissal
disregard
don’t matter

Let her splatter!
while he eats
his white survival cake

Mindlessly unwoke
to future predative
desecration issues
promoting and marketing
trauma-inflation corporations
inviting frequent-flyer
evangelically missioned Narcissists

Who probably don’t think much
of a universal peak salvation experience
yet do feel deeply united,
maybe even energetically synergetic,
about their own sacred memories
of EarthMother’s original Win/Win
multi-colored co-invested
warm wet unconditionally cooperative
co-relationships

Through time’s changing
hue and culture and cry
LeftBrain verbally emerging
too dominant

Thereby, curiosity remains difficult to contain
to deeply listen for feelings to explain
this sound and sight for blue brushes
tinting her slowly turning water
growing
blueing
flowing sadly
back through Patriarchal
Capitalist
anthroprivileged time

Emerging blue
and grey
darkening ecocide.

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AnthroScenic Genes

My matriarchal genetic line
of narrative
not quite sublime
resonantly erupts
regeneratively abrupt

Loves repeating
robustly carnal wisdom’s long
drawn out song

Continuously unabated
with unconditional
transgenerational regard
is something emerging more
than simply not not hated

Unlike our discontinuous patriarchal lines
drawn win/lose competitively
dominating lies
across sandy soils, now quaking
under shaking stubborn feet
awaking.

Where Mom will wake
each morn to greet
this life feels glad
to peacefully repeat

While Dad will scowl,
invoke defeat
his love was lost
in-dus-trials
of empty sad
repeat

Monotonously monotheistic
monopolizing maniacal statistics
monoculturally atheistic
monochromatically dominating
anthro-supremely
down with EarthRights
hedonistic.

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Gifted Doorways

“Grief can be a doorway to love.”
Robin Wall Kimmerer, Braiding Sweetgrass

Grief can open toward gratitude
As loss can open doors to access gain

As trauma can open hearts
to therapeutic brains

As neglect can foster curious compassion

As depression
can incite active
co-empathic impressions

As double negative sociopathologies
can notice doorways
to positive psychologies

As double-binding
dualdark entropy
can open space
for positive double-binary energy strings
of co-empathic
multiculturing time

As isolating sadness
can open doors
to love’s transcendent gladness.

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Seeking Assurance

I am sad
and need reassurance
this choice was not bad
at the time of searching
Home’s new-found voice,
and is not bad
now,
and will not be bad
and sad
in my shortening future.

Diminishing now
into year by year forecasts,
no longer this seventieth decade
by assured next decade
sensing less reassured choices
may matter no longer than month
by sad and glad
life insurance payment
month.

When will I seize
my last happy budding Spring?

Will I recognize Her
when She whole-sum comes
to spread Her good
choice
seeds?

I am mad
to have purchased
a distressed property condo
and need soothing
by a distressed New England
rusty industrial historic community
on a distressed EarthTribe continent
on a distressed Earth crust
wet with rising
and thickening
sickening salt water.

I need way more
regenerative EarthHealth
systemic reassurance

Some better organized cooperative ownership,
stewardship,
management,
organic gardening,
co-invested harvesting
multicultural
and polyculturally robust
nonviolent communication.

I need expanding green
ecofeminist bicameral network
reassurance
I won’t die alone and sad
distressed
traumatized
chronically stressed
clinically depressed
politically repressed
economically Patriarchal-Capitalist suppressed
into win/lose arguments
competitive consumer markets
retail sales
on formerly sacred offering plates.

I feel sad
Christianity
and Islam
and Judaism
are so often for sale
to the lowest
capital survivalist fear-mongerer,
monocultural anthro-supremacist,
anti-godly
StraightWhiteMale
historically royal privilegedest.

I feel bad
that nonviolent communication,
trusting in HealthyDemocracy dialogue
more than SicKleptocracy debate
to divide and separate,

That Compassion Deep Learning Therapy
is seldom applied
to Presidential Cooperative Dialogues,
to BiPartisan Green EcoPolicy Conventions
for healthiest international
continential
national
state
county
and/or local levels
of organizing our EarthTribe CoOperative Habitats,
organically co-invested
like any healthy regenerative body
property
mind
soul
nature
systemic antiracist spirit

Not quite so distressed
as this condominium association
I invested in last year
and foolishly graduated
into a successful election
to a kinda right wing
real estate fascist
clearly not green cooperative WOKE
executive board of toothless
so unsmiling
sad
mad
feeling bad
Patriarchal-Capitalist Directors

Expecting CondoMinions
to hold our breath
till cost-ineffective budgets
stop overheating
and exploding toward bankruptcy,

Systemically unravelling
while absentee owners
thoughtlessly protect their polished sharpened nails
admiring their gleaming hard right reach
toward God’s great individualistic inspiring destiny
in this RealProperty Land
where cash
and Straight White Patriarchs
are historically-correct
monoculturing Kings

Feeling climate casualty sad,

Needing reassurance
next year’s profits,
and preferably next quarter’s,
will continue to outpace
egregiously inflated
and taxed socialistic costs.

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Sad Kindness

Neither happiness or sadness
can preclude each other’s continued personal
political
and economic,
social
and psychological,
sensory
and neurological potentiality

If only because sadness
has something to teach us
about happy health
and sad pathology,

About EarthCentric virtuous circles
competing with AnthroPrivileged vicious exploitation,

About this possibility of creative
and regenerative
v destructive
and degenerative
climate tensions,
chronic intentions
competing against
healthy win
wealthy wintegral attention

If only because MotherTrees
and other EarthFeminists
are not the only virtuous circling rings
slow-growing revolutionary spirals
capable of merging
imagining
remembering
reconnecting
restoring green justice Pleasures
in Eden’s MotherTree ReGenesis
of both win/win Health
and epic win/lose to lose/lose
Pathology of Extraction

Cannot preclude each other’s continued
InFormative
restorative justice and green peace potentiality

If only because climate pandemic pathology
has something to social
political
economic win/lose distancing
teach us about happy anticipation v sad anxiety,

About win/win v win/lose ecopolitical strategy,
leftwing multiculture-valuing healthy global democracy
v rightwing monoculturing
straight white privileged
evangelistic AnthroSelf-righteousness

Sadly willing to compromise
current and future regenerations
of green resilient
global community,
co-passionately happy communication,
sacred communion.

Economic kleptocracy
hiding between anti-green libertarianism
and AnthroNationalistic Patriotism
sadly EarthBound unfreedom to commit fully
to Earth’s multiculturally
polyculturally healthy GreenPeace
and Freedom from rightwing fundamentalistic
either/or
win individualism or lose to interdependent socialism,

Ruminating unhealthy All or Nothing self-redemption stories
confusing disvalues for uniformity
with social values for unity,

Defaulting stuckness in debates
competing for military-industrialized supremacy
for resiliently strong values felt
within flowing interdependent dialogical waves
of pre-historically timeless
win/win values
for Whole EarthSystemic Patriotism

Still happily hidden
in dipolar co-arising apposition,
in-between positive wonder
and negative awe,
between economic potential
for global climate health
and local ecologically integrating,
multiculturally interdependent political wealth

Of gladness
for ecofeminist kindness
and not so many pandemic
patriarchal climates
of unhealthy
autonomously depressing
social distancing
divisive
deductive
reductive
left v right winged sadness.

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Winter’s Time 2016

Winter’s time
and the livin’s not easy.
Snow plows humpin’
and my mouth is too dry.

Well, well, well, well, well
your daddy ain’t rich
and your wallet’s not cookin’.
So sleep little baby,
don’t you,
don’t you cry.

[Insert your own scat blues here. You didn’t think I was going to do all the work did you?]

One of these nightly days
We’re gonna’ rise up singin’;
We’re gonna’ spring our wings
and fly to the sky sky, sky!

And on that great gettin’ up mornin’
there ain’t nothin’ gonna’ stop us,
with Mother Earth
an Father Sun
standin’
and spinnin’ bye….

Ba-duh, ba-duh, ba-duh,
Bu-Dah…..

 

Dedicated to all the SADs, especially those working through Advent 2016, trying to keep your winterish cool about TrumpAdministration 2017.

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Woodland Lakes

Woodland lakes require making room for joy
and leaving rooms of gloom
for ruminating sadness
below reflecting forests,
where senses quickly fade toward death.

Making room for glad
baking lands of maddening sad
with wood fuels
released from trees
rooted in landscapes
emerging from seas of perpetual badness.

If positive polynomial polypaths
from woodland lakes for beauty
and repose
then so too
all notnot monomial monopaths lead to double negatives,
as time squared marches
to soft-lit tunes
and souls of woodland lakes;
where sad predicts glad
as bad follows good
as mad seeks balanced polypathic outcomes
floating on glass forested double-binding surfaces
of and with and in and under
as above lakes of woodlands.

Not truly seen
if not felt,
more fairly heard
when seeing
all this lake’s past waters
sinking up to down again
as sun spins round to set.
Woodland lakes
best heard and smelled
in tasty half-filled landscapes.

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Spring Rain Memories

On these warmer spring nights
we rock in our front porch swing
hearing rain gurgle through satiated soil,
dialects of liquid reflection
speaking about our day,
past days,’
future days of love,
surrendering to dark spring rain intimacy,
but a passing car
spraying wet exhausting whines of power
reminds me you are no longer here.

We speak through smiles
of how we would be
when we ruled our worlds
with less mediocrity,
yet sad you are not here
to hear
what we remember
in my head,
my body warm
against this spring wet breeze.

We hear our breaths
praising stars hidden beyond dark rain night
but resonantly singing soprano arias
while we breathe in to sing back and out together,
but you are not here,
within this future memory of us,
failure to appear
now as here with me
to feel your love
more than an echo in my porch swing mind.

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