Tag Archives: stress

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Feeling Anxious

When I feel anxious,
threatened,
endangered by mortal loss
of an immortality
never organically promised
for perpetual pleasures of compassion,

When I feel anxious
aging toward permanent disability
before my Wise Elder fruition
returns to brain fog
from which I came
in embryonic form
and flow
and function,

When I feel anxious
about unmerited,
or,
even worse,
merited infamy
as my destiny
rather than fame
fortune
flowering time,
what do I need?
want?
crave for pleasure
purpose
practice
praxis
just protocol
performance
peace persistence
proper procedures,
and, perhaps,
sacred organic meaning?

When I feel anxious
do I need
deep verbal and non-verbal connections
to those who share a home
with still embodied me?

Do I want reconnections
with healthy neighbors
co-cultivating an intentional
conscious
aware
woke
win/win curiously active
healthy and safe
green eco-political community?
resiliently resonant communion?
co-passionate communication network?

Does my own internal RightHemisphere
need healthy and safe communion
while my own activist LeftHemisphere
wants to restore justice
through nonviolent communication
between multiculturally informed,
prescient win/win community mediators?

Do I seek fellow hearty
and healthy Me/We sighted
and cited
home-sited organizers?
committed, yet playful, musicians,
political poets,
cooperative co-investors
in healthy democracy
resilient
resonant
buoyant EarthTribe advocates
combining party lines
for win/win strategic thrival

When I feel anxious
do I also need
to solitary write
or sing and dance,
or hum
quietly alone
with no witness
but my own?

When feeling anxious
slowly turns
to considering curious anticipation
beyond dark dread,
must I always remain quite so shy?
about intimacy,
hesitant to publish internal dialogue
free of censoring
potentially consensual fear
about patriarchal capitalist
investments in LeftHemisphere
white privileged
straight male dominance
as the healthy-safe opposite
of conspiracy theories
and transcendently divine
dogmas justifying inhumane
punishments.

When I feel free
to anticipate
our safe and healthy
EarthTribe future,
do I seek
Polycultural Cooperative Investments?
formed by Elder Indigenous Mind,
panentheistically sacred memory
co-empathically robust
health speaking
nonverbally felt
deeply resilient
nutritious
deep nurturing
positive socio-psychological
eco-political
multiculturing wealth.

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When Lonely

When I’m feeling lonely
and anxious,
small and ineffective
against depression
descending like a brain fog bank

In this Elder moment,
I have grown faith
even this chronic dark veil
will withdraw,

Although
perhaps not as sure of when
as tomorrow’s fresh green/blue
worldview dawn

Naturally spirited dark nights
for ego embodied wounds
will recede again

When I’m feeling lonely
and anxious,
rather than healthy
good humored
and safe
with gratitude

For Earth’s panentheistic pleasures
win/win neurosensory practices,
whole-sum dialectical praxis
replete with paradigmatic
revolutionary creolization
musical recreations
across all nations
historically therapeutic
nonviolent communications

When I’m feeling anxious
and lonely,
I am wanting?
Needing what?

To feel healthy
and recognize my situation as factually
and fortunately safe
in some way?
I can say out loud
and take my Verbal Hemisphere dominant self
seriously
rather than speciously,
curiously
rather than furiously.

When I’m lonely
and fear depression’s
disenabling
and unenlightened fog,
am I needing to feel ego-compassion,
eco-systemic expansion?

To see Earth’s restorative health
within
balancing
Sun’s most resiliently revolutionary wealth,
without?

When feeling lonely
what do I most crave?

When feeling traumatized
wounded
internally divided
stuck
dissociated
cognitively/affectively dissonant,

Rather than bilaterally resonant
inside
as outside
deep polycultural revival
and widely
inclusively
multiculturally resilient

Is cooperative
eco-political correctness
what I need
for myself
and with all EarthTribe’s potential
Yang-full Yintegral flow?

Throughout healthy EarthSpace
and wealthy SunRevolving Time,
when feeling lonely,
what does my egobody need,
want,
most crave?

Deepest brave,
courageously transparent,
vulnerably curious way
to stay
safe and healthy
multigenerationally
and multiculturally
and polypathically
Yang monotheistic
and Yin panentheistic,

One full organic ZeroZone
and not, not empty polymathic
entirely
coldly
clinically theoretic.

When feeling anxious
I long for win/win robust anticipation

Gratitude
for a species
too win/lose comfortable
with VerbalHemisphere dominant genocide
and ecocidal ideations

While Elder Hemisphere wisdom
prominently celebrates
Spring rites of Yang fruitfulness
and Yintegral full flow flowering

Truth
and Beauty

Wholeness
and elegant holonic
co-relationships,
co-passion,
ego/eco-systemic Earth
Tribal green integrity

Synergy,
negentropy,
ergodically whole-sum
holonic win/win open
anticipating further enriching
green comforting energy.

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It Is My Impression

I would just like to say
that it is my impression
that longer hair
and other flamboyant affectations
are male dominant immersions
from sadly dull camouflage
into the birthright
and left
of his trans-pangenderal sex.

And I would also like to say
that it is my impression

That wars
and bombs
and other ballistic
bad depressions
are far more likely
as our fast paced race
toward mass extinctions
are killing Earth’s
healthiest climate pace.

And I would further
not like to say
that it is my impression

While predative parasites inhabit
and colonize our landmass
we’re also trash dumping
our oceans
swamping our warnings wasted
polluting our breath
about rabid tendencies
to eat our own young
with sick competitions
in militaristic fun.

And I would just like to say
that it is my sad impression

Apartheid is shunning
and rabidity is plumbing
as life losing EarthTribes
continue succumbing
to Mutually Assured
RightWing Destruction,
MAD rabid bullies blaming
and judging
and shaming
while throwing away care
for all those Others
not part of We,
supremely straight white patriarchal
Me.

I would just like to say
that it is my mad impression

Grown in a sacrileged perspiring image
of JehovahGodYahweh’s
avenging AllahWe
maybe shouldn’t die off
quite so quietly
when Earth’s Great Rapture
smells like ecocide
rabid unraveling decidedly

What Gaia would just like to say
health is Her wealthiest impression

That wars
and bombs
and rabidity
are humanity’s
own RightBrain repressing
LeftBrain dominant depressing
historically hysterical
degenerative stupidity.

Note: With gratitude, and apologies, to the brilliant, creative, musical minds of Hair, the musical.

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Seeking Assurance

I am sad
and need reassurance
this choice was not bad
at the time of searching
Home’s new-found voice,
and is not bad
now,
and will not be bad
and sad
in my shortening future.

Diminishing now
into year by year forecasts,
no longer this seventieth decade
by assured next decade
sensing less reassured choices
may matter no longer than month
by sad and glad
life insurance payment
month.

When will I seize
my last happy budding Spring?

Will I recognize Her
when She whole-sum comes
to spread Her good
choice
seeds?

I am mad
to have purchased
a distressed property condo
and need soothing
by a distressed New England
rusty industrial historic community
on a distressed EarthTribe continent
on a distressed Earth crust
wet with rising
and thickening
sickening salt water.

I need way more
regenerative EarthHealth
systemic reassurance

Some better organized cooperative ownership,
stewardship,
management,
organic gardening,
co-invested harvesting
multicultural
and polyculturally robust
nonviolent communication.

I need expanding green
ecofeminist bicameral network
reassurance
I won’t die alone and sad
distressed
traumatized
chronically stressed
clinically depressed
politically repressed
economically Patriarchal-Capitalist suppressed
into win/lose arguments
competitive consumer markets
retail sales
on formerly sacred offering plates.

I feel sad
Christianity
and Islam
and Judaism
are so often for sale
to the lowest
capital survivalist fear-mongerer,
monocultural anthro-supremacist,
anti-godly
StraightWhiteMale
historically royal privilegedest.

I feel bad
that nonviolent communication,
trusting in HealthyDemocracy dialogue
more than SicKleptocracy debate
to divide and separate,

That Compassion Deep Learning Therapy
is seldom applied
to Presidential Cooperative Dialogues,
to BiPartisan Green EcoPolicy Conventions
for healthiest international
continential
national
state
county
and/or local levels
of organizing our EarthTribe CoOperative Habitats,
organically co-invested
like any healthy regenerative body
property
mind
soul
nature
systemic antiracist spirit

Not quite so distressed
as this condominium association
I invested in last year
and foolishly graduated
into a successful election
to a kinda right wing
real estate fascist
clearly not green cooperative WOKE
executive board of toothless
so unsmiling
sad
mad
feeling bad
Patriarchal-Capitalist Directors

Expecting CondoMinions
to hold our breath
till cost-ineffective budgets
stop overheating
and exploding toward bankruptcy,

Systemically unravelling
while absentee owners
thoughtlessly protect their polished sharpened nails
admiring their gleaming hard right reach
toward God’s great individualistic inspiring destiny
in this RealProperty Land
where cash
and Straight White Patriarchs
are historically-correct
monoculturing Kings

Feeling climate casualty sad,

Needing reassurance
next year’s profits,
and preferably next quarter’s,
will continue to outpace
egregiously inflated
and taxed socialistic costs.

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Cooperative Journeys

It interests me,
this journey into the garden
each spring
to notice how diverse vegies
and flowers,
edibles
and ornamentals,
pollinators
and soil enrichers,
work cooperatively together
when they can

My own planning part
notices potential competitions,
for light
water
deeper top soil,
but these pursue
optimizing cooperation
to jointly thrive,
not competition
to barely survive
trauma,
stress,
pain,
loss,
duress.

While sitting in the shade
looking over a host of community gardens
enlivened
and enriched
by cooperative community gardeners,

I recall business
and even public sector classrooms
worshiping at the win/lose altar
of capital investment

Sure,
without responsible question,
that at the end of our lifetime journey
we will be celebrated by our successful oppressions,
suppressions of the vanquishable
repressions of the feminist weak
within ourselves
our gardens
our families
and compassionate friends.

This has not been my experience,
that I am celebrated by,
and for,
those I have divested of
like obstacles to overpower,
mere consumer subjects
to satiate into silence,
to financially abuse,
to emotionally neglect.

Whether contemplating
another spring season
of cooperative community gardens
or harvesting reasons
at the end of a long midsummer dream

In which we are religiously celebrated
for our multicultural passions
and polycultural communion,
participating in EarthTribe’s
cooperatively redemptive journey
back toward green
pristine Eden.

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Punishing Silence

Do we choose silence
not only as a tool
for self-protection
when speaking
our latest chapter stories
feels unsafe?

But also stern silence
may become a weapon
to ward off apathetic enemies
of our straight
hopelessly white
monotheistic
monopolistic
patriarchal capitalist
enemies

Who would not seem to care
to love us
more than we ourselves
can love them
as part of us
right now
left multiculturally
and ecofeminist
silenced here.

As you go
and liberally grow silent,
I may quietly
then traumatically
hear,
as isolating time
sticks ominously by,

“I am not your constant un-masked friend,”
and, thereby,
an ominous self-fulfilling prophecy
emergently erupts
in punishing response,

“I cannot remain
your therapeutic good-times,
vaccinated against silent unease,
healthy
co-empathic musing friend,”

To trust when skies grow silently dark
and night descends
beyond despair
to safely share
stressed Trauma

Itself first felt ray
of restoring justice promise
despite this loss of salvific
passioned hope.

Prosperity losses steal
from future compassion
already while first silenced weapons
dream denying
relentless truths of suffering
lack of healthy opportunity
to speak our fears
out loud
with those who trust
our trembling tears.

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Denying Doubt

In ecstatic climaxing designs
for healthy multicultural communications
ecopolitically correcting
currently imbalanced
unhealthy
disempowering outcomes

Our most resiliently robust productions
derive from nonviolent communions
compassionate to restore cooperative
healthy EarthJustice

Resilient democracy in green co-invested peace
repurposing relationships for mutual equity,
co-empathic integrity,
win/win cooperativity.

This NonZero HomeZone
is our most integral design
for health and safety thrival,
composed of egocenters
self-extending primal family zones
of great regenerational transition,
and our primary shelter
for cooperative relationships
with neighboring boundary habitats.

Zone One,
furthers interdependently defined
lonely shade from other neighborhood properties
since the number TwoZones
in co-passionate thriving re-membered relationship
within our municipal
eco-political
democratic communication,
designing unitarian green communities
with woke regional interreligious education
and nondualistic natural/spiritual
indigenous wisdom reformation

Sharing Zone Two
lived fully
gratefully
gracefully in our daily
sacred experienced community
conjoining double-bound interreligious cultural connections
to our eco-politically ego/eco-organizing
HealthCare Design Team
for Golden Ruled bioregional optimization
of wealthy co-invested atmosphere,
ecological soil,
cultural drinking water
interwoven in this robust economic climate
of cooperative design
for win/win multicultural compassion.

Completing this holonic Open System Fractal
is Zone Three,
Gaian EarthMother
still cooperatively rebirthing
healthy
resilient
spring climaxing climates
remediating rebirth
with all cooperatively designing
organic EarthTribe species,

Currently excluding anthrosupremacist Zone Four
dualistic employment
of de-nihilistic CAPITAL-HEADED fundamentalists
worshiping anti-recreative design
bowing to autocratic StraightWhite militarized altars
of politically uncorrected Patriarchal Capitalism
LeftBrain dominant
suboptimal
win/lose
ZeroSum healthcare design.

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CoOperative CoInvestors

Narrow-minded,
egocentric Lefty
is thoughtful

Wide
and deep feeling Righty
is ecosystemically compassionate.

These two,
sometimes resonantly together,
too often dissonantly apart,
continually try for win/win
ego/eco-balance

Sufficient compassionate enlightenment
Lefty

And EarthJust empowerment advocacy
from our interdependently networking
co-empathic Righty

Engaged in a lifetime
healthy nonviolent communication
positive-positive
positive-negative
negative-positive
negative-negative

EgoSensory-NeuroSystemic frequencies
of individuating/attaching experiences
of Earth’s light
and dualdark powered
systems incorporating I and Self,
Ego and Eco
wide and deep systemic
bicameral
contextual
emotional intelligence

PolyPathic,
PolyPhonic,
PolyVagal neuro-sensory languaged
nonviolent communication
for restoring Ego/EarthSystemic Justice.

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Living Healthier Together

That we are

And, that we are together
more than apart,

Rather than are not
and never were

Resourcing regeneration’s universal promise
for growing unitarian integrity

Is not our hottest question,
passion,
nor academic topic
for therapeutic conversations,

Curious and courageous
EarthTribe
developing health integrity

Robust
and wealthier
than ignoring how we struggle
through Western life’s capitalistic
LeftBrain dominant muddle
to the esteemed Paradise top
of a non-existent GoldenRuled patriotic hill

Beaconing and beckoning
enlightened thought/feeling relationships
of win/win togathering compassion
actively dispersing violent
degenerative Lose/Lose
unbecoming entropy

Reversing cooperative Both/And
overwhelming competitive Either/Or

BiCamerally in-between Win/Win v Lose/Lose
ecological
analogical relationships

InBetween patriarchal red Capitalism
is not togathering
redeeming
becoming
polyculturally healthy Green Communion

Of organic political integrity
overseeing
mechanical econometric technology

Unable to comprehend
how we are

And, that we are together
more than apart,

Rather than are not
and never were

Resourcing regeneration’s universal promise
for growing unitarian integrity.

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