Tag Archives: polyvagal

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Sacred Origins

That first black and white
grainy
strangely fluid
floating
flat screen view
of the early developing individual
inside EarthMother’s womb

Reminds me
of that first
full-spectrum green and blue
strangely white cloudy
moistly floating
slowly revolving
flat screen view
of home planet
still developing
evolving
revolving Earth.

A LeftBrain dominant individual worldview
from a RightBrain bilaterally individuating
Self/Mother
Home/Other
co-arising contextual perspective.

I find it difficult
to see these embryonic becomings
as if emerging from
monotheistic v panentheistic
ego-transcendent v ecosystemic immanent
imminent
degeneratively emergent
anxious Original Sin.

Original corruption,
degeneratively mortal design
implies our Creator,
our recreative natural/spiritual processes,
our Yangish MonoGod,
our Yintegral PanEntheistic regenerativity,

Made an anthropomorphic
inhumane
unloving
win v lose
zero-sum calculated mistake

Original Sin
concludes that humane spirituality
is dualistically severed
from divinity’s naturally regenerative
integral
organic
synergetically co-relational
win/win potential
before any umbilical cord
is surgically severed.

This, in turn,
confuses a LeftBrain dominant
either true or false
way of competitively adding v subtracting
win/win multiplying nonviolent regenerative health
for both mother and child,
Earth and her EarthTribes

Back before white privileged
LeftBrain dominant males
disproportionately developed English,

Further back
before linguistic empowered language
evolved from economically enlightened
numeric quantification
scale
organic rhythm
syncretic nurturing pace
integral sacred felt space
curiously intrigued
emergent win/win
co-relational
metric
fractal DNA patterns
of co-attaching
healthy co-investments

Infant organic neurosystems already knew
Earth’s bilateral inspiring intelligence
was troubled
when the following were no longer nondualistically sensed
as self-referencing
regenerative
integral
synonymous win/win experiences:

life as love
resilience supporting resonance
nature outsiding inside spirit
body-mind
EgoBaby/EarthSystemicMother

Passionate compassion
humane-divine
secular-sacred
ego-ecosystem
autonomy of interdependence
oneness of zero
linearity of spiraling circles
fullness of empty

Historic Culture
justice of peace
equity of integrity

Health optimizing wealth
Me of We
individual relationship
colonizing creolization
competitive cooperation
Either/Or reconsidering Both/And
linear bipolarity co-arising circular dipolarity

Prescriptive Thoughts emerging from descriptive Feelings
cognition of intuition
perceiving EarthTribe receiving
secular space throughout sacred time

Imagining my journey
since my first black and white
prematurely grey grainy
strangely fluid
floating
flat screen worldview
of ego-home planet
still developing
evolving
revolving
health wealthing
sacred
full-spectrum
spiraling MotherEarth.

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Another Love Letter

So, this is a love letter
from me
to you
for us.

Quiet Cream
and well moisturized Tan
were my first warm
and appreciative glimpse of you

Engaged listener.
Looks gay men in wounded eyes
while listening,
then speaking,
searching for
and finding acceptance,
at least for here
and now.

While both our neuro-systems ask,
with each breath inhaled,
Am I safe?
Each breath exhaled,
Is this healthy?

Or maybe,
ummm…
“I’ll have to think about that.”

Not so much
as a glance my witnessing way,
Wondering,
Is he why I am here?
I hope

Would I be appropriate
to here become
for just one Other?

You were not distracted
easily
from eyes
and voices
surrounding your place
in this 44th chapter
in not patriarchal,
but truly not green ecofeminist either,
Gayla BTQ versatile,
exclusive top,
promiscuously inclusive bottom,
anonymous,
romantic-erotic,
occasionally sacredly orgasmic,
political sex health history.

I wondered
then
as now
where we could fit

In gaps of loneliness
of not being fully known,
exposed,
spiritually and naturally naked
transparent
vulnerable,
fully co-invested,
transculturally cooperative,
co-empathic
co-passionate,
quietly completing each other’s unsaid senses,
thoughts,
integrity,
warmth,
refulgent quenching wetness.

Then, that first smile
just for me.

I am lost to your white teeth,
left-sided dimple,
eyelashes heavy lidding brown-eyed welcome
despite it all

Trust in integrity’s healing potential
after considering all losses,
stressors,
past troubling relationships
in gay white male privilege.

There we were
and here we are
ongoing

Me
writing this love letter,

You
curiously waiting to hear
and see
and feel,
to touch
and be touched by,
something possibly on your way,
a lovely surprise

Because
No one writes love letters
evermore

Painlessly including
those in quiet ecstasy
for quiet Cream
and well-moisturized Tan.

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Resilient Redemption

Probably few of us
have capacity
to see ourselves
as both Angel
and Demon.

Many of us
have had the experience
of demonizing
and punishing ourselves
for sins of the past
extending into our present
festering
unresolved trauma.

Hopefully many of us
have also had the experience
of forgiveness
and saving ourselves
from sins of the future
because someone shared with us,
in some effective way,
that nothing
is always your autonomous fault

If only because
no organic creature,
anthro or otherwise,
is born
or can survive
radically autonomous
from non-ego centers.

Personal identity
follows interpersonal
ecosystemic individuation
developmentally
causally
and effectively.

I hear healing opportunity
in this responsible
yet not solely responsible
both/and way of consciousness

As well as traumatizing risk
of denial,
too cheap self forgiveness,
too easy hiddenness
of our secret
most private
feelings of guilt
about harming another

Both intentionally
and without malice,
accidentally.

A woman’s reluctant decision
to abort may feel unresolvable
between angelic win/win desires
and demonic win/lose fears
and angers

As might
her reluctant decision
to buy a gun
and several ominous rounds
of deadening ammunition

To protect herself
and her children
from traumatic demons
at her flimsy door

Not considering
her lack of experience
with braver angels
hoping to reassure her.

Therapeutic angels
may also wait,
curiously
and impatiently,
outside that same door,
searching for health’s
most wealthy bell
to dispel
shared dark shadows

In-between silent demons
we abhor
and sacred angels
we redemptively adore.

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Dissing Economic-Ecological GreenResonance

Why does this resonance of love,
lovely resonance,
feel so complexly complicated
to achieve?

Complicating,
complicit in felt imperfection

While red hot hate
burns resiliently,
remains pure
and uncomplicated,
unnuanced,

Vengeance is Mine!
bright as red anger
smoldering in cold
black coal fear
of perfect disregard,
contempt,
judgment,
shaming blame
unequivocal unilteral conviction

I was right
to never truly love
in that unredeemed
leftist win/win compassionate
Not Right RedBlooded win/lose
competitively traumatic
capitalist-patriarchal
monotheistic punishing way

Of anthrosupremacist survivalist sway,
HuMan MonoCulture Yang, LeftBrain dominant
dissonantly against
EarthMother PolyCulture Yintegrity,
RightBrain prominent EarthTribal
interdependent living systems
unraveling out in partisan bipolar directions

CoArising dipolar dynamic
four seasonal
green ecopolitical healthy wealth
win/win organic

Breathing in polypathic Taoist erections
of bicameral body/mind co-governing projections
for feeding
and watering public/private health
root
chakra
eco/theo-logical panentheistic
living sacred double-binary
emergent information

Joy/Integrity body health
is green mindwealth safety systemic,
neuro-systemic win/win optimization,
and eco/theologically cooperative
co-investments in mind-body
EarthTribe inclusive
healthcare

Which may be why
does this resonance of love,
lovely resonance,
sound so complexly complicated
to achieve?

And feels impossible
not to fully co-invest
despite considering
all the LeftBrain dominant facts
of Earth’s eventual mortality.

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Why Meaningful Space Heals Purposeful Time

Why did you think then
and
Why do you feel now

You are OK to park here?
drive here?
breathe in here?
stop breathing out here?
love here?
live here?
eat here?
defecate here?
urinate here?
peak here?
fall apart here?
exercise here?
sleep here?
practice here?
reflect here?
act here?
heal here?
destroy here?
appeal here?
repeal here?
unravel here?
reweave here?
fornicate here?
make love here?

Play here as now?
Work here, and now?
Demand here, more now?
Invite here as now?
Initiate here, and now?
Conclude here is also now?
Breed here as now?
Feed here, and now?
Devour here, more now?
Regurgitate here feels now?
Learn here, as now?
Teach here and now?
Meditate here now?
Preach here is now?
Prophecy here will become back there?

Exhort here as now?
Impress here for now?
Repress here against now?
Suppress here was also now?
Oppress here loves now?
Invest here and now?
Divest here as not now?

As compared to there?
As part of liberally rooted
thinking Now
conserving felt back Then.

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Resonant Muses

Tensions between professional teacher
and therapeutic integrity
are as old as cultural wars
between knowing scientific theories
and feeling artistic expressions.

How many times have I heard
I am a teacher
not a therapist?

How many times have we noticed
I can’t LeftBrain effectively learn
when I don’t feel
and hear,
can’t touch
and smell
and taste RightBrain healthy resonance
and long-term safe well-being resilience?

How long might it take
to wrestle with why “professional therapist”
sounds and feels
like a patriarchal capitalist
overly-commodified,
so suspiciously predative
oxymoron to my own compassion needs?

To feel
to personally
deeply and widely listen
learn
know thriving
co-empowered
humane
sacred solidarity futures,

Therapeutic wealth
of integral
educational health

Rooted in Left/Right bicameral balance
informed by polypathically enlightened
multigenerational
indigenous wisdom experience
of past
felt and touched
humane regenerators
courageous resonators
curious integrators
amusing muses
impassioned musicians.

If we are all disempowered empaths
with multicultural learning goals
I might better understand
universally therapeutic
polycutural
polypathic
polyphonic
communally polyvagal neurosystemic
and ego-preferred polynomial values

Are healthy
when ego-centers
transform from disabled
RightBrain interdependent prominence
to re-sourced
re-created
resonant
with indigenously sacred
transparent meaning
of integral well-being experience

Rediscovered in secular professional purpose
of compassionate vocational healing
co-intelligently restoring well-being relationship

Bicamerally re-storying
bilaterally communicated
binomial co-arising compassion

Of LeftBrain educated Truth
exhaled
after engaged by deep peace
inhaled
sacred Other listening
for integrity’s empowering
enlightened cooperative potential

Yet still,
today,
disabled EarthTribe Beauty,

Wrapped solidarity rapt
in synergy’s promised professional
therapeutic Trust,

Harmony’s impassioned Muses
echoing time’s evolving Thrust.

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TrustLight Sings With Power

Like Truth Speak to Power

Singing LeftBrain EnLightenment
speaking MuseLyrical RightBrain
CoEmpowerment

Grows LeftBrain deductively radiant
professional corporate knowledge
of resonant RightBrain inductive
flowing BiCameral CoPassion

Moving,
erupting,
engaging
musiculminating

Grown and woke green co-invested
cooperatively panentheistic
holy indigenous Nature/Spirited Wisdom
polyculturally resonant
HealthMuse/WealthSystemic
synergetic corporate
ecopolitical
ecofeminist power analysis
for feeding and watering
therapeutic full-sensory
deep-learning
non-violent resonant communicating
wellsung and health-safety polyculturing
sacred muse corporate environments
of love in-vested resilient mental/physical
deep listening
ego/eco-systemic health care restorative
corporate polycultural co-remediation.

As Serotonin
invites co-arising
Dopamining

As Sugar
engage
without confronting
by co-balancing
Phosphates

As YangStrength
copassions
YintegralFlow

As Testosterone
Full Climaxes
e-reflect
Estrogenic EmptySoul Wisdom
co-resonant musing experience

As EcoFeminist Power Experience
speaks to PanEntheistic Sacred Truth
sacredly resonant MuseMemories

As individual corporate climax
ebbing feelings
invite more contextually restorative
therapeutic co-invited dipolar
music
massage
movement
mindful
non-violent communion
corporate healing healthcare
muse-empowering
not necessarily LeftBrain dominant,

Inclusively multicultural mediating
intersectional
dialectical
behavioral
musically resonant
resilient EarthHealth Care
restorative justice
nonviolent
compassionate deep listening
and learning
pedagogical and therapeutic
health-empowerment services
professional/personal
political/economic co-invested
compassionate
democratic healthcare
multiculturally co-therapeutic
resonant communication
with EarthTribe systemic SacredMusic
ecosystemically indigenous
panentheistic
therapeutically resilient h
ealth/wealth safety
outcomes
for cooperative
client-student MuseTherapists.

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Might Be An Isn’t

So,
she autistically
and powerfully
said,

One me
plus one you
makes two

And we two
minus one me
leaves you one

Which feels like not
quite enough
for ego sufficiency

But one whole lot more
than zero deficiency

Because Dr. Seuss sings
of zero BirthDay rings
and EndDaze spirited non-things

“If we didn’t have birthdays,
you wouldn’t be you.
If you’d never been born,
well then what would you do?…

Why you might be a WASN’T!
A Wasn’t has no fun at all.
No, [s]he doesn’t.
A Wasn’t just isn’t.
[S]he just isn’t present.
But you…You ARE YOU!
And,
now isn’t that pleasant!…

If you’d never been born,
then you might be an ISN’T!
An Isn’t has no fun at all.
No [s]he disn’t.
[S]he never has birthdays,
and that isn’t pleasant.
You have to be born,
or you don’t get a present.”

And sacred co-prescience

One me
plus one you
makes two,
and now
aren’t we pleasant
co-present?

Note: Dr. Seuss quotes are from “Happy Birthday To You!”, 1959, when I was celebrating seven sacred birthdays.

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Urgent Health Democracy

Amusing sacred A-musings
like Atheistic A-gnostics

ReDiscover resilience
where Trauma is some part of Life

Win/lose LeftHemisphere dissociating
lack of RightSung resonance

ReUncover indigenous integrity
to feel wise reculturing nuances
between naturally Therapeutic
multicultural spirit dynamics

Health optimal democracy
grows wealth of opportunity
for deep octaves
of integral systemacy

Integrity
rather than feeding
and overwatering
more Traumatic risk
of patriarchal
capital-growing
opportunistic duty

To ReGenerate eco/theo-logos reflections
on what we healthiest communionate:

Am I Self protagonist
against Other antagonist
egocentric?

Or
EcoSystemic’ly healing
healthy wealth in-forming out-goes
AnthroSublime
more than Self/Othering
AnthroSupremacist
winning over sinning today
to avoid losing disembodied identity
in some disenfranchised tomorrow

Hurtfully devolutionary
monoculturally ordinary
retributively penitentiary
cruel and unusual anti-fairy
dissociatively deflectionary
not inter-religiously extraordinary

Apartheid
lack of compassion’s transparency
experientially coreflectionary
nondeflective musicarried
win/win vulnerably co-revolutionary

Our MeWe
green peace operatic
operations wu-wei
healing PatriCapitalist historic harm
dousing further climate flames
of even more CancelCulture NonCommunion
lack of amusing charm
in LeftBrain’s dominating ways

Toxic
anti-systemic worst days
entropic best nights
endemic absence
of bilateral
binomial
bicameral cooperative plays

Musing inspirations
do not lose gratitude
for our best day attitudes
nor operatic curiosity
about Politically Incorrect furiosity

Worst day fears and angers
about what EarthTribe lives endangered
have been WholeEarth lost
to future expiring
un-musing
unraveling spirals
of dynamic
epic
Earth respirations
inspirations
exhalations
operatic muse desperations

In A-gnostic octaves
double-fractal coloring keys
Me without We forgiving
history’s broken win/lose nest
dissociating nature-spirit’s We celebration
indigenously healthy best

In tegrity,
co passion
a musing muses
of nonviolently sung communication
danced in spiraling fire circles
of octave-structured resounding sound
and music Earth empowering
and sacred Sky enlightening sight

Bicamerally co-governing
therapeutic co-invested
anti-trauma co-infested
co-amusing muse

Singing HerPassion storic
rebirthing
revolving
EarthMother/Child infantstructured
co-operations

Amusing sacred A/C-musings
co-arising A-theistic energies ergodic
A through Z octavely harmonic
eco-logos theognostics

ReDiscover Win/Win cooperative resilience
where Trauma is always red-sky warning
some win/lose non-therapeutic part
of EarthTribe Musing Life

Win/lose LeftHemisphere dissociating
lack of RightSung resonance,
co-redemptive resilience.

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NonDueling Conductors

A Straight
White
Elder Patriarch
came in to where I RightBrain sing
my Gay
White
EcoFeminist way

He seems to want to stay,
to overpower my say
and will to sing
our musing pray

Because…
why?
I wonder what he feels
about me,
us,
about his own deep harmonic longing
to listen for our sung together feelings

Music therapy
composed of what we economically
and politically Trust,
wanting mutual
and actively co-invested
full singing circle harmonic Wins right now
to Win more easily tomorrow’s healthing way

And what might this PatriCapitalist feel
he does not want?
Perhaps less Win/Lose
ZeroSum power and light assumptions
actively distrusted
settling for more traumatic apartheid,
denial of interdependently woven relationship,
nature v spirit non-indigenous dualism
divorced from his own prehistoric felt experience
longing to avoid further nihilistic Lose/Lose
trauma
decay
pain
loss
degeneration.

Am I distracting
dissonant
too RightBrain gooey
for serious performance competition
with Your church choir’s
true blue bought and sold
commodified liturgical purpose?

To put on a good LeftBrain entertaining show

Rituals about cooperatively enjoying
our win/win WholeEarth health-care receiving
and resilient wealth-care giving
by conducting bicamerally harmonic potential

For healthier democracies,
more cooperatively owned EarthPartnership,
more inclusive multicultural polypaths
for universally unitarian polyphonic
constellations of integral systemic Voice

Yang yintegrally
WuWei
less Western sociopathic trauma
best forgiven through compassionate
indigenously polycultural
wellness sung and danced

Win health Voices
to Win resilient wealth Choices
for green ego/ecosystemic leadership

Con-celebrating BlueSky/GreenEarth
light and power felt
warm harmonic need
for more and better
inter-religious
intersectional
interdependently reweaving
healthy democratic communion

Which is what I need
and want to say
about how I seem to feel
when a Straight
White
Elder Patriarch
comes in to where I RightBrain sing
my Gay
White
EcoFeminist way.

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